


Hurting From The Heat

by cloneclubbingcreampuff



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, Slow Build, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 04:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3194657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloneclubbingcreampuff/pseuds/cloneclubbingcreampuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been two years since the outbreak.  Cora and Laura are going to California to find their family, and come across Stiles and Lydia, who are headed in the same direction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Look, I knew what I was doing. You don't need to flip your shit--"

A cold, bitter laugh is all she gets in response. Then: "It's a little too late for that, Cora. Consider my shit thoroughly flipped. You just shot at me." 

Cora shrugs, tries to stay calm. She knows Lydia well enough to know that the girl can hold a grudge with a viselike grip, and she'd rather not be on her shit list. 

"Not at you. 2 inches above your head. I'm a good shot, just ask Laura. And I just saved your ass. You're welcome," she bites out, points to the dead zombie two feet from where Lydia's standing. 

"I can take care of myself--" 

"Really? Because this is the fifth time in two weeks that I've had to--"

"Will the both of you just shut up? I have a migraine the size of a softball, and your bickering isn't helping," a deep voice cuts in. Laura has always been a bit of a peacemaker, but Cora doesn't want to stop. 

She rolls her eyes at her sister and points to Lydia. "She started it." 

She knows she's acting like she's five, but no fucks are given. She just glares at Lydia, and Lydia glares back, and isn't this so much fun? Finally, Stiles steps in and puts an arm around Lydia's shoulder, because of course he'd take her side. 

"I think we can just all agree, we're happy to be alive. Now can we please get a fire going? I'm starving," Stiles pleads, and Cora wonders how much she can roll her eyes before they're permanently stuck in that position. Laura's brilliant idea to have these two travel with them to California is just not working. Cora huffs and digs into her bag for some matches. She leans against Laura's truck before grabbing some firewood from the truck bed, and then throws it on the ground. 

"Here," she says gruffly, shoving the box of matches into Stiles' calloused hands. She gives Lydia another look before Laura pulls her away. 

"What the hell is your deal?" Is the first thing Laura says, when they're out of earshot of the other two. "You've been acting like a cactus is wedged up your ass ever since they showed up," she nods to where Lydia and Stiles are. 

"I don't like them." 

"Well, tough shit. In case you haven't noticed, Cora, we're kind of in the middle of a freaking apocalypse here. And it's better to be in a group than alone. Until we get to California, you'll just have to suck it up." 

"And how long will that be?" Cora asks, squinting off into the distance for a moment. 

"I don't know. My truck's getting low on gas, so we'll have to walk. It's about...3,000 miles from here to California." 

"Great," Cora groans. 

She doesn't mean to complain; she knows this is hard on her sister. The rest of their family might not even be alive, but Derek's last text had said they were in LA. Now that her phone is dead, it's a gamble. But then, everything is, nowadays. She sighs, and looks into Laura's eyes. "I don't mean to be a bitch. I just--don't like people traveling with us. We're faster on our own. And why are they even going to California? Oh, right, to find a vaccine," Cora scoffs. "Like that'll ever work." 

"Lydia is smart," Laura defends, and Cora steps back, surprised. Lydia got to her sister too, it seems. "She'll figure something out." 

"Yeah, if she survives," Cora points out. "I've had to save her ass five freaking times. This is getting exhausting." 

"Then teach her how to fight. We can't afford to lose her," Laura says, and starts walking back to the fire that is now sparking and crackling. Cora joins her, and only glares at Lydia three times during the meal. Okay, maybe four. 

 

\----

 

Cora decides to teach Lydia basic self defense first, since she's pretty good in hand to hand combat. Lydia tells her she's never taken a self-defense class in her life, and to please go easy on her. Cora just smirks and drags her out into the woods near their camp. They've been camping out by Albany for the past few weeks, waiting out the cold January weather before they set off for California. 

"Okay, so the first thing is your stance. Have your feet be eighteen inches apart, and make sure your dominant foot always faces your attacker. Your dominant hand should be closest to you," she explains, and demonstrates this. "Tuck your chin in, and keep your eyes on your attacker. Anticipate what they might do, and move to block." 

She doesn't ask Lydia if she's ready before she swings at her, and to her surprise, Lydia blocks it, pushing her arm out. Then she delivers a punch of her own, which Cora blocks. 

"Nice job. Now, I'm going to teach you some punch combos that I like..." 

This goes on for the next few hours until Cora's body aches. They spar, and at first, Cora is able to sneak past Lydia's defenses, but she learns quickly how to block, how to attack. She's a fast learner, which Cora should have expected. They decide to stop around dinner time, and start walking back to camp. The snow crunches underneath their feet and Cora nudges her softly, thinking maybe they're not so different after all, and maybe they can get along. 

"You did good today, Martin. You'll be kicking zombie's asses in no time." 

"Thanks. Honestly though, I'd rather find a way to help them, than kill them all," Lydia says. 

Cora stops in her tracks. "What?" She can't believe this. "They're monsters. They bite and kill. They don't need help, Lydia. They need to be eradicated." 

"Really?" Lydia quirks her eyebrow, her eyes blazing. "Are you aware of how many humans are left? Only around 200,000. Globally. Obviously, I'm not saying we should let zombies turn us; of course we should defend ourselves. But if there's a way to save them, and restore their humanity, than I'll find it," Lydia says determinedly.

Cora shakes her head. "I wonder if you'll be so optimistic a year from now," she muses. 

"Well, I guess we'll see, won't we?" Lydia replies, and gives a wry smile. 

When they get back to camp, Stiles is warming his hands by the fire. Laura looks sweaty and there's some blood on her coat, which could only mean one thing. 

"We've got to go," Laura says, and hurriedly packs their stuff up. 

Cora helps her, shoveling her clothes into her duffel bag. She doesn't have much, just what she could grab from their house in New York City before it was ransacked. They climb into the truck, Stiles in front, Cora and Lydia in the back. Laura drives until the gas runs out, then they get out and start walking. 

They cover an average of about ten to twelve miles a day. Cora has two glocks and gives one to Lydia, even though the girl can't really aim. Laura helps teach her, and slowly, she gets better at it. They get zombie attacks everyday, which isn't surprising since they're on foot. They might as well be neon signs saying ZOMBIES--FOOD HERE. Lydia's pacifist nature is placed on the back burner for now, which Cora is happy about. Her sister would never let her off the hook if Lydia dies. She might be a nerd, but, then, that's the whole point. Cora's not ready to believe that Lydia could actually find a vaccine and fix everything, but she won't deny that it's tempting. She knows how toxic false hope can be, though, so she keeps Lydia at arm's length. 

It's not too hard, given how different they are. Out of all the people to run into in New York City, it had to be two nerdy people who don't know the first thing about how to ration food, or how to track zombies, or any basic wilderness skills whatsoever. Cora lies awake at night wondering how in the hell they survived this long. She doesn't want to ask, but one day, when they're walking along the highway, the question just tumbles out of her mouth. 

"I know we look like wimps, Cora, but we have basic survival skills," Lydia explains in a huff. Her breath comes out in a puff of steam, and Cora watches it until it dissipates. "We were holed up in a safe house for a while. I had been going to UCSB when I--found out about the outbreak. I took the first flight home and discovered that my parents had already been...taken by the disease. The contagion had spread so quickly. I had to find Stiles and make sure he was okay. Thankfully he was, and we stayed in an old warehouse until zombies found us. That's about the time we ran into you," she sums up.

Cora can see a hint of a tears behind Lydia's eyes, and doesn't know what to do. What to feel. She averts her eyes, looking ahead to where Laura and Stiles are walking. Stiles is holding a gun, and Laura is trying to instruct him on how to properly clean it. Cora rolls her eyes again. These freaking nerds.

"You might think he doesn't look like much, but he's my best friend," Lydia cuts in, and Cora turns to her, caught. 

"How long have you guys known each other?" Cora asks, before she sees Stiles turn back to them. He walks towards them, beaming. 

"Since we were five," he answers, and slings an arm around Lydia's shoulder. "I had the biggest crush on her in middle school, but that kind of ended in high school when she got drunk one time and puked all over me," he smirks. 

Lydia just nudges his side and smirks back, and Cora feels a pang of...something. She knows what it's like to be that close with someone. That's what she feels with Laura, and it's been the one thing that has kept her sane. The traces of tears she saw moments ago in Lydia's eyes are gone, replaced with a hopeful twinkle. Maybe they'll get out of this. Maybe they won't all die horrific deaths. Maybe they can find a vaccine.

Cora has never been good with maybes. 

 

\----

 

"How many of them do you think there are?" Laura growls, and presses her back into the rock face. She turns to crane her neck, and Cora can feel the tension rolling off of her. Adrenaline is pumping through her own veins, and she misses this feeling, if she's being honest. It has been kind of quiet for the past few days, and a good fight is just what she's craving. She inches towards the edge of the cliff and looks down at the zombies that are crawling up the hill. 

"Thirty," she guesses, before she springs into action. She picks up a rock and throws it down the hill, watching in satisfaction as it hits a zombie in the head. The creature tumbles down and Cora grabs for another rock. Her hand brushes against Lydia's and she turns, forgetting for a moment about the imminent danger. Her one thought now is to make sure Lydia doesn't die. 

"Get behind me," she orders, and hurls another rock. 

Lydia doesn't listen to her, of course. She just pulls her glock out and starts firing, and Cora takes a moment to watch her, amazed at how good her aim has become. She really is an incredibly fast learner. Lydia turns to her and smirks. 

"No one tells me what to do," she says softly. "I'm not some damsel in--ah shit, I'm out of bullets," Lydia groans. "Cover me," she barks, before scrambling down the hill. 

Cora doesn't have time to ask what in the hell Lydia's doing. Damn it. She grabs her own glock and fires it, ignoring Stiles' hysterical cries. Lydia is racing towards the zombies now, engaging them in hand to hand. Cora knows she's armed; Laura had given her some knives and a pair of nun-chucks, so she's not worried about that. But still, Lydia's just a beginner in self defense, and there's too many of them. 

"Damn it, Lydia," she murmurs. "You're clinically insane. When we get out of this, I'm checking you into a mental hospital--" 

"Do you normally talk to yourself?" Stiles ask, and Cora just flips him off. She's not in the mood for this. "Because if that's the case, you should rethink who should be checking into a mental hospital." 

"Don't you care that your friend is probably gonna die?" she snaps, and reloads her gun. She's down to three clips. They really need more ammo, but Laura is the only one who seems to know how in the hell to get more. 

That shuts Stiles up, and he watches his friend, bites his lip. He tosses some rocks through the air, missing his targets by a mile, and is about to charge down the hill himself when Cora stops him with a hand on his arm. Lydia is actually...kicking ass. She's amazing, swinging and kicking, like she's dancing, almost. Perfect rhythm, perfect form. One zombie tries to bite her arm and she snaps her other hand up, slitting his throat. Another jumps onto her back--falls off when she sends an elbow into their gut. It's like watching an action movie, and Cora can't tear her eyes away. 

She kills all the zombies, holsters her knife, then walks back up the cliff. She wipes some blood off her face with her bandana and just smiles. 

"Don't ever do that again!" Stiles chastises, quickly getting up to wrap his arms around Lydia. She hugs him back, and her eyes land on Cora's for a moment. There's something happening between them, something shifting, but Cora has no idea what it is. She clears her throat and steps back to leave the two best friends alone. Laura is still leaning into the rock, and gives a sigh of relief that starts from deep in her abdomen. Cora nods, and breathes a sigh herself. 

She totally agrees with Stiles, for once. If Lydia ever does something like that again she's probably going to have a heart attack. As they start hiking again, she decides not to ask herself when she started caring about whether or not Lydia lives. It's no longer about just pandering to her sister's wishes, she knows that. Lydia still gets on her nerves, with her optimism and big words and--just--everything. She's pretentious. She's annoying. Cora doesn't like her. 

She doesn't. 

They stop near a gas station, and stay there for the night. Laura's road map tells her that they're somewhere in Ohio, and eight states stand between them and California. She heaves a sigh and pulls out her water bottle, takes a long draught. Predictably, the shelves are all picked clean, except for some crackers and peanuts. Cora shrugs and opens a packet of crackers, figuring she might as well eat whenever she can. She swallows, feels the lump in her throat when she hears footsteps behind her. 

"So...how are you holding up?" Laura asks softly. 

"I'm fine," Cora says. "How about the Wonder Twins?" 

"They're good, all things considered. They're checking to see if there's any money left in the cash register. Though I'm not really sure money will do us any good," she shrugs. 

Cora nods. "We need some more ammo." 

"I don't know where to get any more. I had an old army buddy with access to guns but I've got no idea where he is." 

"Well, maybe we can make some bullets. Or just...throw rocks." 

"Yeah." Laura sits down next to her and steals one of her crackers before she can say anything. She leans against her, because suddenly, she just needs to feel something. Feel someone against her, who she knows will keep her safe. She's not one for being sentimental, but these past few years have put her emotions through the ringer and she's not sure who she is anymore. It feels like she sheds her skin every few days, just to find out that she's no closer to figuring out who she really is. She's grasping at something that is not even there. She hopes that her family is safe and alive, all the while telling herself that hope is just another way of lying to yourself. She is made up of contradictions, when all she really wants is to be honest with herself. 

"Hey. Stop thinking. Just--be here, with me, okay?" She hears, and burrows deeper into her sister's side. Only it's not Laura who spoke, but Lydia, and she blinks. Lydia is crouched next to her, watching her cuddling her sister like she's a little kid. Cora blushes and slides away from her sister, then clears her throat. 

"Was there something you needed?" She demands, looking up at Lydia with a glare. 

It seems to piss Lydia off, and Cora waits for the surge of satisfaction that usually comes when she manages to get under Lydia's skin. It's there, but it's...weaker. Tainted with something else that Cora is not ready to examine. 

Lydia looks at her coldly and straightens, steps back. Stiles appears beside her and Cora wonders if they really are attached at the hip. 

"No, I just wanted to check and see how you were. Stiles and I found some cash, but not much. And honestly, unless we can buy something to trade, it's pretty useless." Lydia reports. The coldness is still in her eyes, and Cora feels her insides slowly freezing. "Well, good night," she says, turns and stalks away, Stiles close behind her. 

"You don't really know how to talk to people, do you?" Laura muses, and slides over to her. "Get some sleep, weirdo." 

"Yeah, okay," she answers gruffly, and stretches out on one of the cold metal shelves. Laura takes night watch, standing in front of the gas station with a rifle resting on her shoulder. 

The sunlight pouring in through the windows is enough to make Cora want to gouge her eyes out, but before she can, Stiles is standing over her, and it takes a few seconds for her to focus. He's looking at her with something like disdain, and she rolls her eyes. She's lost count of how many times he's made her do this, and honestly, their interactions would be more fun if they kept score. As it is, talking with him is a chore. 

"Good morning, sunshine," he says happily, then hands her some peanuts. "Your sister told me to wake you up. We're not leaving yet, because she wants to get some sleep, but uh...she wanted to make sure you--uh..." 

"I know. She wants me to babysit you," Cora finishes for him, and slowly rolls off the shelf. She stands up and stretches, feeling the stiffness in her muscles slowly loosen. "So, where's your double?" 

"We look nothing alike. And our personalities are actually drastically different. You'd know that if you took the time to get to know us," Stiles says, giving her a pointed look. 

"Listen, buddy, if you don't want to travel with us, there's the door. You and Lydia can just try to make it to California on your own," Cora barks, before her filter stops her. Honestly, she's not a morning person and dealing with this shit first thing is not fun. She doesn't need someone constantly telling her what she's doing wrong. She's saved their lives, and helped Lydia become a (sort of) badass. She doesn't need this. "In fact, I think I'd like it if you'd just--" 

"Fine," a sharp voice cuts in, one that chills her to the soles of her shoes. "We're gone. Let's get out of here, Stiles," Lydia snaps, and before Cora can rethink what an idiot she is, or explain what a bitch she can be if you wake her up before noon without any coffee available, Lydia and Stiles are gone. 

Cora will give it to Lydia; she sure knows how to make a dramatic exit. And how to make Cora feel like the shittiest shit. She watches them walk down the road and tells herself she's not sad to see them go. She and Laura can get to California faster now, she's sure of it. They won't need to stop for Stiles' bathroom breaks or listen to Lydia's lectures on how fascinating chemistry is. She won't need to constantly worry about protecting her--them. She expects to feel relief, but instead, all she feels is more worry. She groans and lies back down, sheer will power the only thing keeping her from going after them. 

When Laura wakes up three hours later, it takes her thirty seconds to realize Lydia and Stiles aren't there. She turns to Cora, who readies herself for her sister's temper. She is calm most of the time, but certain things can awake the dragon, and Cora knows her well enough to predict that chasing off the two people smart enough to possibly put an end to this whole apocalypse is one of those things. She gulps, and takes a swig from her water bottle before placing it down on the shelf and turning to face her sister. 

"They, uh, left," she answers, when Laura asks where the Bobbsey twins are. Cora muses that she'll have to start coming up with more nicknames for them before reality slams into her and she remembers that they're gone. They walked away and didn't come back like Cora had expected (hoped) they would. They're gone for good. Shit, her sister is going to kill her and spread her entrails out for the zombies to feed on. 

"What do you mean? Did they go to look for supplies or something?" Laura queries, still waking up. She rubs at her eyes and stands up, straightening to her full height. It's not meant to be intimidating, but it is. 

"Uh...no. They're gone. They're going to try to--get to California on their own," Cora explains. 

Laura blinks several times, then springs into action. She doesn't spend any time getting angry with Cora, but just heads straight to the door. "We have to find them," she finally says, breaking the silence. "They'll die without us. Lydia might be a good fighter, but Stiles couldn't beat a ginger bread man," she tells Cora, the worry evident on her face.

Cora holds her hands up. "Wait a second. They wanted to go. Why should we--" 

"Right," Laura interrupts, a cynical laugh erupting out of her gut. "They just decided to go, with no provocation. It's not like you would have persuaded them by being extra bitchy."

"I don't need this. I don't need you judging me too." 

"So, what, you're going to push me away, too? Sorry, I'm not walking away from you, no matter how pissed I might be right now. We're family. Now, I'm going after them. You can stay here, or you can come with me." 

Cora hates that she feels tears sting the back of her eyes. "Of course I'm coming with you."

"Fine. Then get your shit and let's go find ourselves two helpless nerds." 

 

\----

 

They walk for two days, stopping to sleep for 4 hours each night. Laura hopes to overtake Lydia and Stiles at some point, and Cora goes along, even though she's pretty sure Stiles and Lydia won't be found if they don't want to be. She trudges along, trying to keep up with Laura's grueling pace, and mentally kicks herself for not just being nicer. Or at least for not explaining that she can be a real bitch in the morning. Fuck. She said all the wrong things, and kept her mouth shut when she should have apologized. Story of her freaking life. 

"So...are you planning on looking for them indefinitely?" Cora asks her sister softly, three days after they leave the gas station. They're still on the highway, having just trudged up a hill that leaves them both panting. She doesn't want to push Laura, but finding their family is more important than two strangers they happened to meet in New York. 

"Yeah. And since it's your fault they left, one would think you'd feel bad about this," Laura replies, looking down at the ground for a moment. 

"I do feel bad. I just think that...y'know, I--I don't know why we have to be the ones to protect them. They could find someone else to bore with mathematical equations." 

"I know you don't like them, but that's not what this is about. It's about ending this hell. It's about hope, something that I wish you still had." Laura sounds sad and it's almost too much for Cora to take. She loathes being pitied. Loathes being patronized, and Laura is aware of this. She's trying to goad her. 

"They are not my responsibility, okay?" Cora shouts. "And hope is one thing, delusion is another. Lydia is so sure that she's going to find a cure that she's willing to risk her life on a cross country trip on the off chance that the lab at her old school is still there. It's insane, and the fact that you're so gung ho about it makes me question your sanity too!" 

"I'm not the one who is trying so hard to convince themselves that anything that breeds happiness isn't worth having. Excuse me for trying to make your life easier, Cora. God, it's almost like you thrive on being totally miserable." 

"Shut up." 

"You shut up!" Laura yells, before stepping back. She shakes her head slowly. "Look at us. We're worse than our parents." 

"Yeah. Guess there's no question that we're related, huh?" Cora says, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Why don't we rest here for--" 

She's cut off by the sound of footsteps. A hell of a lot of footsteps, like a stampede, and she feels panic swooping through her intestines before she grabs onto her sister's arm. 

"We're fucked." 

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up," Laura agrees, before running in the opposite direction. Cora follows her. She doesn't have to look back to know what is going on. A freaking stampede of zombies is making their way up the hill, and there's no way they'll be able to fight them all off. How long can they run for? Zombies are nothing like the creatures in the stupid movies Cora used to watch. They don't clumsily lurch around; they're fast and flexible as hell, and surprisingly athletic and nubile for dead people. 

She's out of breath before they've made it a mile, and then she hears a shout above her. She doesn't stop, knows that will be her death, but she looks up and sees a flash of red hair. What the actual fuck? 

"Lydia?" She wonders aloud, and runs into her sister. She almost falls over her own feet at the sight of Lydia, who is perched on top of a telephone pole. Her legs are stretched out, and she has the nerve to look relaxed at a time like this. Cora doesn't ask what the hell Lydia's doing up there, even though she's definitely curious, but the mob of zombies no more than thirty feet behind them is a more pressing issue. "Uh...A little help here?" 

"Hmmm. I don't think so. I mean, we're just a couple of annoying nerds. I'm sure you can get out of this on your own," is the answer, and Cora balls her fists. Of course Lydia is going to make this difficult. 

"I'm sorry I said all those things. Just, please, help us out? I can grovel later," Cora yells, desperate. 

Laura is still running, trying to distract the zombies. They run after her, and Cora runs to the telephone pole that Lydia is sitting on. There's no time to hold grudges, it's literally a matter of life and death. 

"Please, Lydia!" She screams, as one of the zombies runs towards her. She pulls her knife out of its holster and stabs the undead monster before gazing upwards.

"Fine," Lydia shouts back, and before Cora can blink, a telephone wire falls down, swinging in the air. Cora catches it, wondering what the hell Lydia's plan is. Lydia lands by her moments later. It's then that Cora notices Stiles on a pole further away. He cuts the other side of the wire, so now both ends are on the ground. She waves at him before looking back at Lydia. 

"Hey," she greets. "So...what do I do with this?" She holds up the telephone wire and looks at Lydia quizzically. 

"Get the zombies together and wrap it around them. Then I'll tase the wire and it'll knock them out."

"Where did you find a taser?" 

"At that gas station. I was going to tell you, but you didn't seem to care about what I had to say," Lydia sniffs. They're about to get eaten by zombies and Lydia's butthurt about Cora being snappish towards her. Figures. 

Cora just rolls her eyes and runs towards the zombies, giving a battle cry. Laura sees her and frowns, before her gaze lands on the wire in her hands. She reaches Laura and hands her one end of the wire. 

"We're going to herd them all together," Cora says in a rush, and Laura nods in understanding. They sprint in opposite directions, surrounding the zombies, then tighten the wire, forcing them together. Cora hurriedly ties the two ends together and looks at Lydia, who is close behind her. She pulls out her taser and places it on the wire. 

Cora watches in amazement as the mob of zombies falls to the ground, unconscious. 

"That was so fucking cool," she mutters. "You're really smart, huh?" She smirks at Lydia. 

"So I've been told," Lydia smirks back.

Laura and Stiles both clear their throats at the same time, and Cora glances at them. She steps back from Lydia and has the decency to look sheepish. 

"So--uh...I'm sorry about before. It's clear that you guys aren't helpless, and you don't need to be babysat. If you want to come with us to California, I guess that'd be cool." 

Stiles snorts. "How could I resist, after such a heartfelt proclamation?" 

Cora rolls her eyes. "Yes or no?"

Lydia answers for the both of them. "Yes. After all, who's to say that I won't have to save your life again?" 

"Don't push it. Besides, it's my five to your one." 

"I'll catch up," Lydia retorts, and nudges Cora. Cora immediately nudges her back, and they go on like this for about twenty minutes until Laura separates them.


	2. Chapter 2

January turns into February, and since it gets too cold to sleep outside, they find an old abandoned house to stay in until the weather gets bearable again. The house is warm enough, and it's nice because there are some mattresses too. Cora hasn't slept on one of those in a long time, and on the first night, it takes her back a while to adjust. They guard the house during the day, and always have someone on watch at night. Lydia volunteers to go on night watch, and Cora is surprised to find she never dozes off. At least she's taking this seriously, Cora muses. They still bicker and argue, but Cora has to admit that Lydia saving her life forged a weird kind of bond between them.

She's really cocky about it, though, which Cora doesn't appreciate. Stiles is no better, and it gets to a point where Laura threatens to put duct tape over all of their mouths. Cora knows this is getting ridiculous; Cora and Lydia's banter isn't always just playful, or harmless. They disagree on some pretty fundamental things, like what to do to a zombie that's attacking you. Ever since Lydia found that damn taser, she's insisted on just using that when zombies attack, but it doesn't always work and they've had a few close calls. Lydia doesn't want to kill them, she says, over and over and over until Cora feels like her brain is about to implode. They've had this conversation so many times. 

"Lydia," she breathes, one clear morning right after some zombies try to get into the house, "You have to defend this place better. We're all going to die if you don't wise up." She holds her hands up as Lydia opens her mouth to speak; she knows exactly what she's going to say. "I know you don't want to kill them, and that you're hoping to make a cure or whatever, but the thing is, you can't react in a nonviolent manner to someone who is trying to kill you. You have to disarm them." 

Lydia holds up her taser. "I do disarm them. I'm working out the kinks on this thing; it'll be more effective next time." 

"That's what you said last time," Cora grumbles, and stomps into the kitchen to find some coffee. Laura told her earlier that there's a coffee maker in one of the cupboards, which is a miracle in and of itself. Cora starts making a pot and turns back to Lydia, who is standing behind her with her arms crossed over her chest. 

"Look," Cora starts. "Technically, they're already dead. I mean, not technically, but they're diseased. All they have to look forward to is death. Besides, if you knock them out, they'll just keep coming back. They won't stop hunting us." 

Lydia just shakes her head. "I don't want to argue with you about this. I--fine. I'll go back to using a gun. I know how close of a call that just was," she says calmly, and leans against the counter. 

Cora can't help but whirl towards Lydia then, her eyebrows raised. "Um--wow. You agree with me, then?"

"I didn't say that. But I'll do what you want. I'd hate for you to die just because I didn't...um...because of my ethics."

"Thanks," Cora says, and she means for it to come out more sarcastically than it ends up sounding. She looks at Lydia for a few seconds before the coffee maker beeps and she jumps slightly. She turns quickly and feels her cheeks warm up a little, though she has no idea why. Her body is acting weird right now, that's for sure. She can feel Lydia behind her, can feel her eyes on her, and she resists the impulse to shiver. She pours herself some coffee and turns to Lydia. 

"Want some?" She offers. What the hell else is there to say, anyway? 

"No thanks. Coffee makes me jumpy--er than usual," she smirks. 

"Yeah, we wouldn't want that. You're very twitchy sometimes. Makes me nervous." 

"Shut up, I don't _twitch_ ," Lydia protests, but can't help but giggle. Cora likes this, this familiarity. Whatever was happening before is pushed to the back of her mind, and instead she thinks of a comeback. 

"Please. You're the twitching queen." 

Okay, so she probably could have come up with a wittier comment, but whatever. She sips her coffee and feels her brain clear up considerably. She looks outside for a moment at the sunlight glittering across the snow, and sighs. She wants to be in California so badly right now, wants to see her family. A pang of sympathy shoots through her when she realizes that Stiles and Lydia will never see their families again. It must be hell for them both, and Cora isn't certain that she'll ever stop feeling guilty about chasing them off a couple weeks ago. She turns back in time to see Laura and Stiles enter the kitchen. Cora relaxes and sits at the kitchen table, then looks up at her sister. 

"Morning." 

"Morning," Laura replies, and pours herself some coffee. Laura doesn't like it black, but there's no milk or sugar in the house. Laura winces as she sips it, then looks at Lydia and Stiles. "What do you think? Can we leave soon?" 

"It should get warmer in March," Stiles pipes up. "I don't have a calendar, but I think we have two more weeks." He scratches his hair that's sticking up like he's just been electrocuted, and Cora hides a snort behind her hand. 

"Cool," Laura says decisively. "Two weeks, then."

 

\---- 

 

They all take what they can carry, and Cora bemoans the fact that she won't be able to have coffee in the morning anymore. It's such a luxury now, which is just one of the many things that is so drastically different about the world she used to live in, and the one she's just drifting through now. She doesn't feel like this is living, half the time. Strangely enough, the times that she feels the most alive are when she's fighting zombies and talking (arguing) with Lydia. 

One day, when they've just left Ohio and are trudging along the interstate through Indiana, Stiles moseys up to her (that's honestly the only word she can think of to describe the way he moves towards her) and smiles at her, until she's officially creeped out. She doesn't really like Stiles, but she has to admit that he's pretty smart, since he figured out how to get the electricity working in the house they'd stayed in. He's still pretty useless with weapons, but Laura's been training him in hand to hand combat. Cora doesn't really know how that's been going, and honestly, she's afraid to ask. 

"What do you want, stick person?" She huffs. She hopes he doesn't take anything she says personally. If he does, then...oops. 

Thankfully, he just smirks at her. "Hey, grinch," he shoots back. "I was just wondering if you and Lydia are going to resolve your differences any time soon. Because she's been talking my ear off about how annoying you are, and frankly, I'm starting to wish one of the zombies just attacked me in my sleep." 

"Wait--she thinks I'm annoying?" Cora scoffs. "What about her?" 

Stiles waits a beat before answering. "Well, since I'm her best friend, and I love her, I can't really agree with you on that particular point. I guess that's a no on the whole 'resolve your differences' thing, then?" 

"Yeah, sorry to disappoint. Why is she sending you over here to talk to me?" Cora queries darkly, before she looks back to where Laura and Lydia are walking. 

They're out of earshot, but they seem to be chattering at a mile a minute. Without meaning to, Cora feels a pang of jealousy because she can't remember the last time she and her sister talked that much. She can't remember the last time her sister smiled that widely, and the person who makes that happen is Lydia, not her. She should probably get around to apologizing to her sister for yelling at her after Lydia and Stiles left, but part of her thinks that her sister is still angry at her. Their conversations have been short and kind of stilted, and while Laura's not the most talkative person, that's not usually how they communicate. They've always had a strong bond, and a lot of times, they don't need to say much to relay what they are feeling. And that works out great, since neither of them really enjoy talking about their emotions. Cora wants that back. She feels a surge of anger towards Lydia for taking her sister from her, but she knows it's misdirected. This isn't about Lydia. It's about how Cora fucked up and now she's too much of a coward to apologize. She shakes her head and tears her eyes away from Laura. She's not going to cry in front of Stiles, no fucking way. She almost misses his response. 

"Uh...she didn't. I came on my own volition, I do have a mind of my own, you know." 

"Oh. Could have fooled me. I thought you two were psychically linked or some shit," she sniffs. 

Stiles catches her shift in mood. "Hey, are you okay?" He questions. He frowns at her until she turns to him, then waves a hand in front of her face. "Is it the heat? I mean, it's not that hot, but...are you having a heat stroke? How many fingers am I holding up?" He says, all in a rush, then shoves three fingers in Cora's face. 

"I'm fine," Cora says, laughing. She immediately tries to scowl, and covers up her chuckle with a cough, but it's too late. Shit. 

Stiles raises his eyebrows and holds a hand to his chest in mock surprise. "Wow. Did I just make you laugh?" 

"No. I was just coughing. I have a frog in my throat," Cora lies, wishing that she'd just decided to walk by herself today. Then again, she had, but obviously Stiles had other plans. 

"I've always wondered where that expression came from," Stiles muses, before smirking at her. "You can lie all you want, Hale. But I think I'm growing on you." 

"Yeah, like mold," she shoots back, and the scowl falls off of her face in spite of her best efforts to keep it firmly in place. She finds herself grinning at Stiles. Damn it, she's never going to hear the end of this. 

They camp later that night, and Cora throws three rocks at Stiles before he agrees to stop bragging about how he managed to thaw the Ice Queen. She rolls her eyes at that nick name. Is that seriously how Lydia and Stiles see her? Because they couldn't be more off base. Cora is all fire, burning and sparking hot in the dark. All-encompassing, intense, tenacious, persistent. She can be hotheaded sometimes, and has a lot of emotions, even though she doesn't like to show them. So Cora can kind of see how someone would get the wrong impression. 

She falls asleep watching the stars twinkle. She counts three shooting stars before her dreams take over. 

In the morning, they pack up their belongings and start walking, just like any other day. Only Laura falls into step beside Cora today, saying something about it being best that she and Stiles take a break from each other. Cora resists the urge to hug her sister and never let go, while Stiles just nods and slings his bag around his shoulder. 

After a half-an-hour of silence, Cora speaks up. 

"I feel like I should apologize for fighting with you. You know, when Lydia and Stiles were--" 

"It's fine, Cora. I get it. It's not easy. This...this isn't easy. And being responsible for two more lives has got to be tough on you," Laura murmurs. 

"I just hate fighting with you. And if you're even a little mad at me, I just want you to know that I'm really sorry. I don't want you to give up hope. It's what makes you so kickass. You're...you're really cool, and I love you."

"Love you too," Laura says. "And don't freak out, dorkus. I'm not mad at you. Not anymore. Lydia made me see that it was dumb to--" 

"You talked to Lydia about me?" Cora interrupts, her voice coming out higher and squeakier than normal. She despises that the very mention of Lydia can do this to her, but she's so over everyone in their little group laying out all her secrets like it's no big deal. 

"Stop interrupting me. And yeah, I did. I need a neutral party to discuss stuff with, okay?" 

"How much did you tell her?" 

Laura just chuckles. "What, do you think I told her all your embarrassing secrets? Relax, your badass reputation is still safe. I didn't tell her that you used to have a crush on Big Bird when you were seven." 

Cora nudges her sister's shoulder and lets out a scoff. "That's not what I mean. I just--don't like her knowing stuff about me. It's...we're not exactly friends, but we're getting there. I think. I just take it one day at a time."

"It's the only way to live," Laura nods. 

Before Cora can say more, some zombies come running from the field to their left, having been hidden by the tall grasses. Cora and Laura slide their backs against each other, and turn in a circle. Cora counts five zombies, and her eyes flick to where Stiles and Lydia are, about one hundred feet ahead of them. They're mirroring their stance, and Lydia shoots her gun twice, lodging one bullet in the head of the zombie that is about to attack Stiles, then another at the bastard trying to bite her. Damn, she's good. Cora's so caught up with watching her that she neglects to pay attention to the zombies they're dealing with. Laura knifes two in the chest simultaneously, then throws another knife into the third zombie's head. Cora dimly registers the other two and rams their heads together, then shoots them before they can get back up. 

"Thanks for the help," Laura says sarcastically. She follows Cora's gaze, and nods as she watches Lydia fighting. "She is pretty incredible, huh?" 

"What?" Cora mutters. She's still watching Lydia. Her mane of strawberry blonde hair is blowing in the breeze, and she looks so...badass. Beautiful. She runs in front of Stiles when the last zombie tries to attack him, and delivers a swift kick to the creature's abdomen. Time stops for a second when Cora sees the zombie charge again, but Lydia just tases him, then sends a knife plunging into his brain. Cora jogs up to her before she's really aware of what she's doing.

"Nice job," she breathes. 

She doesn't try to hide her relief that they're all okay. They are alive. And Lydia is becoming more of a badass with each passing day, it seems. Since Cora taught her those fighting tactics, it makes sense that she's proud of her. There's a niggling feeling somewhere inside of her that suggests that she feels more than just pride in this moment, but she squashes that like a bug. Honestly, she feels a lot when it comes to a certain Lydia Martin. She's never been indifferent towards her, and she doubts that will change. 

 

\---- 

 

"Damn it, Lydia, that was our last good match. Now how in the hell are we going to make a fire?" Stiles grumbles. "There's no way I'm rubbing two sticks together like some wannabe boy scout. That takes fucking hours." 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that was our last one," Lydia retorts. "It's not that cold, we don't need a fire that badly." 

"Yeah, but I was planning on cooking these hot dogs we found three towns back," Stiles says, then opens the package. His nose wrinkles and he places the hot dogs down. "On second thought, cold beans sound amazing." 

"Good, 'cause that's all we have," Laura says, and rations out the beans. They eat in relative silence. Cora shovels down the cold beans, not caring how tasteless they are. She's starving, and if this is the only food available, then she'll take it. She winces as she finds a weird lump of something in her bowl, and just scoops that out and throws it on the ground. 

"So...who wants to be on watch tonight?" Laura inquires. "Should be a pretty quiet night, since we're out of the city." 

Cora shivers at that. They had to pass through a big city a few days ago, and it had been crawling with zombies. They'd been lucky to find a car with some gas, enough to get them past the city limits and back on the highway. Laura drove for miles until the engine sputtered and died, and now here they are, just outside of Indianapolis, which Cora suspects will be even worse. Oh joy.

"I can," Lydia volunteers. Her eyes shift to Cora's. "We can watch together, if you like. I'd like to spar with you, since it's been a couple of weeks since our last lesson." 

"Sure," Cora says quickly. She brushes her hands on her cargo pants and ignores the way that both Stiles and Laura's heads swivel towards her. It's too dark to really see their expressions, which Cora thinks is probably for the best. "From what I've seen, you're getting really good. But don't get cocky; I bet I could still beat you," she brags. 

"We'll see," is Lydia's response. Cora can practically feel her beaming. They finish their meal and Cora goes to grab her rifle, then picks a spot to keep watch. There's not too many hills around here, which is good. It's a wide open space with few places to hide, but that doesn't really matter when it's dark. They'll just have to be careful. Laura and Stiles huddle in their sleeping bags and fall asleep quickly. Laura's snores reach Cora's ears, and she grimaces, hoping that the sound won't attract zombies, before turning to Lydia. 

"So," she starts, leaning her rifle against a tree. The ground is kind of rocky here, to give them both a little bit of a challenge. "Want to show me what you got?" 

"With pleasure," Lydia retorts, like they're in a corny teen movie. 

Cora's too busy blocking her flurry of punches to make fun of her for it, and then they're off, fighting in earnest. Cora breathes deeply, feeling her heart pumping faster as her body moves with Lydia's. She doesn't usually compare fighting to dancing, but when it comes to Lydia, she doesn't have a more perfect analogy. It really is something, to watch her like this. To see this side of her, slightly wild, yet calculated and controlled. Lydia executes a jab-jab-cross-hook-uppercut-cross combo, then shifts her feet, always keeping her eyes on Cora's. Cora blocks all the hits, except for the last cross. Shit. That'll probably bruise tomorrow. She circles, feeling the thrill of fighting someone almost as good as she is. Almost. Cora can see Lydia's weaknesses. She favors her right side just a hair too much. Sometimes she waits a bit too long before deciding whether to attack or defend. Cora can slip through these cracks, these moments when she's undecided. 

She tries to, anyway. Turns out that Lydia's gotten better in the two weeks since their last fight. She throws a punch, hoping to connect, but Lydia blocks it. This happens five more times before Cora gives up and tries a different tactic. She tightens her defense, then kicks her leg out, hoping to trip the other girl. Lydia sidesteps, then comes back with more punches. Cora can feel her body heat and smell her hair, and she blocks her punches and manages to swing an uppercut towards Lydia's chin. Lydia stumbles back, but regroups and quickly steps forward again. 

When zombies attack, they pause their fight long enough to kill them, then go right back to sparring. They are well matched now. Cora's not sure who will win. She's sore and aching, but she's determined to see this through. Lydia flies at her again, and they tumble to the ground in a cluster of limbs. Lydia pins her down, but Cora manages to jab a knee into her abdomen, which gives her enough time to get back up. 

The fight goes on for countless minutes, until they're both out of breath. Lydia punches, Cora blocks. Cora tries to trip Lydia up, but she sees it coming every time. Cora connects a punch to Lydia's stomach, which sends her careening, and they fall on the ground again, Lydia on top of Cora. She pins her down and smirks down at Cora, who is really starting to regret agreeing to this. 

"Okay, you won, you can get off of me," she growls. 

"Say it again." 

"Get off of me," Cora spits stubbornly. 

"No, the other part." Lydia corrects.

"...You won. Happy?" Lydia nods slowly and gets up, offering her hand to help Cora up. Cora ignores it, pushes herself up and dusts herself off, then turns to Lydia. 

"Oh. You're not a sore loser, are you?" 

"Psh. As if. I just had no idea you'd gotten to be that good of a fighter. Congrats." 

"Thanks." They slowly sit back down on the ground, both utterly spent. Cora hopes no more zombies attack tonight, because she's not sure how well she'll be able to fight them off. She'll definitely have a black eye in the morning. Lydia groans as she sits down, and rubs at her breastbone. 

"Damn, Cora, you really did a number on me," she complains, but she sounds almost surprised. 

"Likewise. I'll probably be limping for the next two days. And this shiner will be a beaut in the morning," Cora smirks and points to her right eye. 

"Oh, shit. Sorry." 

"No worries. I agreed to this. If anything, it's because of me that you're so good, so I guess I can take credit. It was a little bit like fighting myself." 

"Funny. I thought that was something you did just fine without my help," Lydia answers. She sounds solemn, and the look she gives Cora is more intense than Cora is used to. 

"Um...yeah. I guess. I--uh...I mean, you know what they say. We're all our own worst enemy." Cora's too tired to fight her on this, which is something she can guess Lydia's not expecting. It's a little scary to contemplate how well Lydia knows her already. She still feels like Lydia is mostly a mystery to her. She doesn't really know what motivates her, except for being arrogant enough to think that she can somehow succeed where many other doctors have failed. Lydia's a 22 year old girl. Cora doesn't see any chance of her somehow discovering something that doctors who have studied the contagion for years couldn't. She doesn't get it, doesn't get why someone would be so hopeful. Mostly, she doesn't get Lydia. Doesn't understand how she is able to be a ray of sunshine, a force of nature, when everything is crumbling around her. She never capitulates, never stops fighting. Everyone has their demons, and Cora wonders just what kind of demons Lydia fights. What would she say if Cora asked her? How would she even go about asking without sounding like a nosy prick? Why does she care if she sounds like a nosy prick around Lydia? She doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of her. Except maybe Laura. 

Lydia is smart, there's no denying that. What Cora doesn't get is why she doesn't use that same logic to see what a waste of time trying to find a cure is. it's likely that this contagion will end up wiping out the human race, and maybe that's just how it has to be. She's not into religion or any cosmological crap, but she knows how futile it is to fight something that is just too big. Too powerful. Too deadly.

"Penny for them?" She hears, then glances at Lydia. 

She shifts and shakes her head. "I was just...thinking about nature. About this disease. I don't really know if we can win, or what winning would even look like." 

"It's about surviving," Lydia cuts in. 

"Yeah. I'm not sure if..." 

"No. Stop," Lydia snaps, and turns to her, waves a finger in her face. "You're not going to suck the hope out of my soul, Cora Hale. You're like a freaking dementor, but I will not let you take away the one thing keeping me going. The human race will survive. I'll find a cure." 

"Oh, you will, will you?" Cora bites out. "Sounds awfully egotistical to me." She hears the crickets happily chirping and smells the sweet night air. She tries to ground herself and douse the anger sparking inside of her, but that doesn't happen. She's had just about enough of Lydia's attitude, she realizes. 

"It's not egotism! I don't just mean me, I just...god, you're impossible!" Lydia whisper-screams, so as not to wake up the others. She stands up quickly and walks out into the field, her fists balled. 

'Good riddance,' Cora thinks. This back and forth is giving her whiplash and she wishes that she could clearly pinpoint why Lydia pisses her off so much. Why she makes her feel so damn much. She watches Lydia's form until she becomes a dot in the dark. She's sure Lydia will come back. She wouldn't dare to leave without Stiles. 

Right? 

 

\---- 

 

Lydia does come back, just before the sun is about to come up. Cora glares at her, because it seems like an appropriate reaction given all that happened last night. She hates everything right now and wants to burrow deep under a rock and live there until this is all over. Until Lydia decides whether to like her or dislike her without any ambiguity. Then again, she's not exactly sure if she can answer that question herself. Lydia looks at her coldly, and oh, there's the evil eye. So they're back to this. Fine. Cora can handle this. It's familiar, anyway, and if she just keeps focusing on how angry she is, she doesn't have to think about the dull feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

And here Cora had thought that being caught in the middle of a zombie apocalypse was hell. She's quickly discovering that there are worse things. 

When Laura and Stiles wake up, Cora gives monosyllabic answers and shoves all her stuff into her duffel bag. Laura and Stiles ask her what's wrong, because of course they can tell that something is, but she just shrugs and says she's exhausted, and that she's sure as hell not going on watch tonight. Then she remembers that they're going into Indianapolis and dread clutches at her. Oh shit. Now is probably not the best time to cause a rift between her and Lydia, given that they're going to be heading into a city full of zombies and they'll have to have each other's backs. She's such an idiot. 

Laura looks at her and frowns. "All right, well, if that's all. Let's get going. We've got some zombies to roast," she says. She really needs to work on her one-liners. Cora groans and pushes herself up, following her sister. She casts a look at Lydia and Stiles before deciding to just walk next to Laura. There's nothing more intimidating than Lydia when she's pissed off. Laura just nudges at her and brings her close for a moment. 

"It'll be okay," she whispers into her hair. "She's pissed at you this week, next week you'll be frenemies again. Or whatever you were," Laura falters. "Shit. I'm not very good at comforting people, am I?" 

"Yeah, you suck at it," Cora agrees, before shouldering her rifle and gazing towards Indianapolis.


	3. Chapter 3

Indianapolis looks like a tornado went through it. Street lamps are busted, stores have broken windows and busted roofs, and there's not much to salvage, even though the first stop they make is at the city's police station, or what Laura guesses is the police station, to find some ammo and new weapons. They manage to find two Sig Sauer pistols, and four clips of ammo. Laura gives Stiles one of the guns and tells him to be careful with it. Cora mentally rolls her eyes, because telling Stiles to be careful is like telling a duck not to swim. He is extremely accident prone, which is why Cora decides to stick to him like glue. 

Lydia is still pissed at her, and the iciness radiating off of her is palpable and intense. When they're trudging out of the police station, their new weapons in tow, a realization hits Cora. She and Lydia are like fire and ice, so different. But when they come together, they make steam, a chemical reaction that neither of them can put a stop to. They'd be an unbeatable team if they could actually get along. 

Laura pulls her out of her ruminations when she grabs onto her shoulder. Her sister notices how deep in thought she's been in lately. She notices a lot of things. 

"Zombies," she whispers, pointing ahead. 

Cora readies herself for a fight, making sure her glock is loaded. She has her rifle too, but she'll use that later. What she really wants is a sniper. The fuckers would never know what hit them. 

They cluster together, their backs all sliding against each other. They know the drill, they've done this before, but the thrill is always there. The adrenaline that keeps them fighting is coursing through their veins and Cora knows that they'll make it out of this alive. There's a level of trust between that stems from surviving together and having each other's backs. 

Cora cocks her gun and fires it, sending two zombies falling to ground before they reach her. She keeps firing, then stops to reload, doing a quick count of how many zombies there are. Forty, maybe fifty, and there's more running down the street, surrounding them on all sides. Shit. She keeps firing, then holsters her gun when the creatures lurch closer. She flicks her knife up, catching it again and stabbing it downward into the chest of a nearby zombie. She chances a glance at her sister, who is lopping zombies heads off with a katana that she'd kept from her days in the military. Her sister has all the cool weapons, and Cora's stuck with this shitty ass knife. 

Cora can hear Lydia guiding Stiles on where to shoot, and she keeps focusing on the zombies in front of her, all the while listening to Lydia's voice. It's soothing and calm. She sends another zombie sprawling with a swift kick to the face, then throws a rock with all her might, hitting them right between the eyes. She keeps firing, stabbing and throwing rocks. She knows that if they try to move, they'll probably be overtaken, but there are more zombies coming and Cora is running low on ammo. She nudges her sister softly. 

"What should we do? They just keep coming," she bites out. 

"Um....we should probably just make a run for it. On my count, all right?" 

Cora nods, shoots another one in the head. "Any time now," she snaps. 

"All right...1,2,3, now!" Laura shouts, and they all start running down the street, zombies literally snapping at their heels. Lydia and Stiles keep up with them, darting down the street. She can hear them both panting slightly, and feels a swoop of panic. Running was a dumb idea, because there are more zombies in front of them. There's literally no where to run, and Cora is about to come to a screeching halt when Laura pulls a grenade out of her pack. 

She pulls the pin off and vaults the grenade behind them, and Cora blinks at the street blows up behind them, sending bodies flying through the air. 

"Why didn't you do that sooner?" Cora barks, still sprinting forward. 

"I forgot I had it until now, all right? Give me a break, I'm a little stressed out," Laura replies, before swinging her sword at some of the zombies in front of them. Lydia uses her nunchucks to choke one of the creatures, and Cora looks on, impressed, before snapping back into focus. They kill the remaining zombies and look around at the destruction. 

"Beats watching TV," is all Stiles says. 

Cora lets out a laugh and nods slowly. "Yeah." 

Her eyes meet Lydia's for a moment before the other girl looks away. Laura notices the look and gives Cora an apologetic shrug. Cora just scowls. She doesn't want to talk about Lydia. She doesn't want to think about Lydia, or wonder if they'll ever...no. She doesn't care. The evening brings cooler weather, and they find an abandoned office building to stay in for the night.

The next few days are pretty uneventful. They walk through the city, picking up any weapons or food they find along the way. Cora finds a crowbar, which she stuffs into her duffel. Lydia and Stiles find some LED lights and start chattering about how they could use them at night to spot zombies. Cora doesn't bother to point out that bright lights actually attract zombies, because she'd rather not ruin their excitement. At least for now. And she's pretty sure that if she actually tries to converse with Lydia, the other girl will either ignore her or just nod at her coldly, pretending that she gives a shit about what Cora has to say.

One morning, Cora wakes up to find that Laura and Stiles are gone, and when she grills Lydia on where the hell they went, Lydia just shrugs and goes to eat some pop tarts. Cora rolls her eyes. She can't think about food right now. 

"What if they're dead?" 

"No zombies got in. We're in an office building, on the tenth floor." 

"Zombies can walk up stairs, Lydia." 

"I know, but we barricaded the door, remember? Laura and Stiles are probably just out looking for more supplies. They didn't want to wake us up." Lydia gives her a look as if to say 'And I thought I was the uptight one.' 

Cora just huffs and bites into a pop tart angrily. She's going to kill her sister. She hates worrying about her. She absolutely hates this feeling, but most of all, she hates the fact that she's alone with Lydia. So yeah, when Laura gets back she's so going to kill her. She sits down on the cold floor and looks anywhere but at the other girl. They sit in silence for two hours, neither of them wanting to talk first. What is there to say? Cora's not going to apologize for being realistic, and she knows Lydia's not going to apologize for being an arrogant scientist who actually thinks she can solve everything. This is pure torture. 

Cora pulls an old tennis ball out of her bag and lays back. She throws it against the wall and mindlessly catches it as it bounces back. She does this for about thirty minutes before she hears Lydia speak. 

"So, what's your favorite color?" 

Cora blinks, lets the ball bounce onto the floor. She sits up and frowns at Lydia. 

"What?" 

"We're going to be here for a while. Because I'm beginning to suspect that Laura and Stiles left us here on purpose. And I'd also wager that if we tried to get out, we'd find that the door is barricaded from the other side," Lydia predicts. 

Sure enough, the door won't budge. Cora jiggles the knob angrily before turning around, her eyes blazing. Laura is so freaking dead. Cora looks around the room frantically before letting the tension out of her body with a huge sigh. "Black. It's--my favorite color is black." 

"Mine's purple." 

"Fascinating," Cora snaps. 

Lydia heaves a sigh. "I'm trying here, okay?"  
\  
"I know. But I don't...I don't want to talk right now. I--it's not you," Cora says hurriedly, and takes a few steps towards Lydia. "It's just that when we start talking, things always get out of hand and I--I don't know why. We're so different, you and I." 

"That's...definitely true. At least we agree on that," Lydia smirks, and Cora smirks back before she can stop herself.

There's not much else to say, but they don't fight at all that day. The downside is, they decide to not really communicate either. Cora wouldn't mind knowing more about Lydia, but she has a feeling that Lydia is reticent to talk about herself. She doesn't blame her; there are things in Cora's past that she'd rather keep buried. Besides, she's never been the nosy type. If Lydia wants to tell her, then she will. 

After they eat lunch, Lydia opens a book to read. Cora takes a look at the cover and smirks. "Nancy Drew mysteries?" 

"Yeah. I read them all when I was a kid, but now I'm rereading some. And these are the only books I could rescue when I got home," Lydia answers. "I would have loved to take some of my science books, but...some zombies destroyed our library." 

"I'm sorry," Cora blurts, and finds that she means it. "How--I mean, did you get to say goodbye, to your parents before they...died?" 

"Yes, thankfully," Lydia says, a tear spilling down her cheek. 

For a fleeting, crazy, terrifying moment, Cora wants nothing more than to wipe away that tear. To touch Lydia's cheek softly and tell her that everything will be okay, even though that is a huge lie. She bites her lip and shuffles a little closer, hoping that Lydia won't back away. She doesn't. 

"That's rough," is all she can think of to say. 

Lydia sniffs and turns towards her, shaking her head slightly. "Thank you. I miss them each and every day, and it's one of the reasons why I've been trying so hard to--well, you don't want to hear about that." Lydia waves a hand. "What about your family?" 

Cora stares into space for a moment, before coming back to the present. To Lydia. 

"Well, I--was living in New York with my sister. We'd been sharing an apartment, and then we heard about this disease gripping the nation. And then the world. No one knew where it started, and we really freaked out. Derek was living in San Diego, along with our parents and our uncle, and...last I heard, they're all alive. Derek's last text just said they were in LA, so hopefully, they still are," Cora recounts. 

"Oh. I--that's great. I'd assumed that you just had your sister. I'm glad that's not the case." 

"Thanks. Yeah, they're pretty awesome. My brother Derek tries to act all intimidating, but he's really a huge softie. And my mom and dad are really cool. They let me move out to New York to go to art school, even though it meant I'd be so far away from them." Cora is painfully aware of just how far away she is from them now.

"Ooh, I love art. What do you like to draw?" 

"Anything, really. Scenery, people, objects, still life. I just like to capture an image on paper. I think it's really cool how much art can say, without any words." Cora says, and feels kind of embarrassed. These are the most words she's spoken to Lydia since they've met, and none of them are angry or hurtful. She's not sure why she's telling her all of these things; she'd been just fine being mysterious and keeping Lydia at bay. But it's harder now, maybe because she doesn't take anything for granted anymore. Her life could end tomorrow, and holding a grudge when that much is at stake just seems idiotic. She chances a glance at Lydia and smiles. "I could draw you sometime, if you want." 

"Really? I'd be honored," Lydia replies happily, and Cora nods. 

"Cool. And...listen. I'm sorry about before. I didn't mean to piss you off, and when I called you egotistical, I was just--I didn't mean it. I won't stop you from having hope that you'll find a cure. Because, honestly? If anyone could do it, it'd be you," Cora says, even though she's not sure whether she means it, or if she's just humoring Lydia. 

Lydia turns to look at her with her eyebrows raised. "Uh...apology accepted," she grits out. "I was out of line, too. You're not a dementor." 

"Right. If I was, I'd have to kiss you." 

The awkwardness that settles between them then is most definitely not just a product of Cora's overactive imagination. Nope, she said the wrong fucking thing. Go figure. And now things are just uncomfortable. 

"Um...not that that would be bad," she adds, cringing all the while. Best to just shut up, like, right now. 

Lydia just chuckles, but Cora can tell it's a little forced. 

 

\----

 

When Laura and Stiles finally show up three freaking days later, Cora is ready to go homicidal on the both of them. Lydia is in the same boat. She glares at Stiles until the boy cracks and starts apologizing profusely, saying that it was all Laura's idea. 

"Gee, thanks, Stilinski," Laura snaps. She turns to Cora, who has a fire in her eyes that even Laura finds scary. She holds up her hands, and backs away until she hits the wall. She gulps and looks down at Cora. "Listen, we just--needed to leave you alone for a few days. So that you could sort out your differences. I should have left a note, I know, but I knew you'd be pissed either way, so..."

Cora just crosses her arms. She is not impressed. Her and Lydia's relationship only concerns her and Lydia. And honestly, being alone with her just makes things more confusing. They hadn't talked much after Cora's stupid comment about kissing her, and even now Cora wants to bash her head into the nearest wall. She locks eyes with her sister and glares. 

"There is no way I'm forgiving you. I thought--I thought you'd been killed, or eaten. There had better not be a next time, Laura. I mean it," Cora says, and there's a hint of vulnerability in her tone. 

Laura nods. "Okay, there won't be. I'm sorry." 

"Fine." Cora says. 

Maybe she'll be less sore about this tomorrow, or the next day. Maybe she'll be able to overlook the fact that her sister keeps trying to meddle in her life. 

They get out of the city, finally, and reach an old cabin that Cora thinks used to be a camping resort. It's not much, but they've definitely slept in worse places. When Cora pushes open the door, she notices that there's bunk beds, which makes her smile. There's also a small stove, with some matches too. Cora makes herself at home, then goes out to get some firewood. She gets a nice fire going outside, and sits in front of it, watching the sun slowly set. It's been a while since she's let herself really appreciate how beautiful sunsets are, and she gets an itch to draw. She pulls her notebook out of her bag and grabs some colored pencils. No one else except Laura knows how much she values these simple objects, because they allow her to create something. She starts drawing the sunset, getting lost in the detail and coloring the pinks and oranges and purples until she's satisfied. She sighs and looks at the sunset, then back at her notebook. She's kind of rusty since she hasn't drawn in a long time. She's almost forgotten how much she enjoys it. 

She hears someone sit down beside her, and turns to Stiles. 

"Hey," he says softly. He looks at her notebook before she can shove it in her duffel bag again. "What're you drawing?" 

"The sunset," she declares gruffly, and gestures to the the horizon. "It's too beautiful for me not to draw. I want to remember how it looks."

"That's...surprisingly deep," Stiles observes.

Cora's not sure if she should be offended, or if that is Stiles' cockeyed way of giving her a compliment. She just shrugs. "I'm not a robot, contrary to what Lydia might say about me." 

"She doesn't say things like that. Mostly she just goes off on how infuriating you are." 

Cora just chuckles. "Well, same here. She's not exactly what I expected, but then, I never expected to be fighting for my life and making a 3000 mile trip on foot. What can you do?" 

Lydia joins them then with some hot dogs in tow. They roast them and eat their fill, since they have quite a few hot dogs and they know from experience how quickly the meat rots in the sun. Laura sits on the other side of the fire, and Cora gives her a small smile, which Laura returns. It's so easy with her, even if Cora is still a little rankled about her leaving her in Indianapolis. She'd been pretty terrified for her. 

Now though, they're still together, and things are looking up. Laura estimates that they'll be out of Indiana in about three weeks, if they keep the same pace going. Cora feels like she's slowly becoming more alive, because she's finally letting herself hope that her family is alive and well. And if they are, she will find them. 

 

\----

"So...how old is your brother?" Lydia asks her about a week later, when they're walking along the interstate. 

"Twenty-seven." 

"Did you get along well, when you were kids?" 

Cora just shrugs, not sure why Lydia's taking an interest. "Yeah, we were close. He gave me this bracelet when I was thirteen," she motions towards her wrist, which sported a leather bracelet with a button buckle. "I never take it off." 

"I've noticed," Lydia comments. 

Cora opens her mouth to say that Lydia seems to notice a lot about her, but clamps her teeth against the words. She's not going to start liking this girl. They are not friends; they just fight undead monsters together. That doesn't mean she's going to start getting attached. No sir. 

They haven't met many other humans on their travels, and honestly, if they did, Cora would be wary. Isolation can do strange things to a person's mind, can make them violent and unruly. Cora's amazed that she trusts Lydia as much as she does. But there's still the whole hero complex thing that Cora can't quite overlook, because it can be really annoying. She ignores the voice in the back of her mind that says she has just as much as of a hero complex as Lydia does, and they keep walking along in silence for a while. 

The Indiana hills are quite beautiful this time of year. It's early April, Cora thinks, and the buds on the trees are just starting to sprout. The grass is green and lively and waves at them in the breeze, and for a second Cora wants to spread her arms out Maria Von Trapp style. She chuckles at her self and wipes some dust off of her clothes. She's filthy, and she knows she probably reeks to high heaven. They need to find a lake or something to go swimming in. 

When they finally do about 3 days later, Lydia abstains from joining them. She hides behind a bush to switch out her shirts, then starts washing her clothes by soaking them and rubbing a bar of soap on them. Cora wonders why she won't join in, but quickly turns as Laura splashes her, and immediately splashes her back. All thoughts of Lydia fly away soon enough, as she and Laura have an intense water fight. 

They're acting like kids, she knows. But maybe that's not such a bad thing right now. Tragedy adds years to a person's life, so it's nice to forget about all of that for a while. When a handful of zombies attack, Lydia just takes care of it by throwing them in the water to drown. Thank fuck zombies can't swim. 

Turns out they can, though. Cora feels an arm grab at her and screams, then runs out of the water like her ass is on fire. She ignores the giggles that are erupting from Lydia, who grabs her gun, shooting the zombies in the water. Her sister gets out of the lake, and even she's laughing. Cora whirls on Lydia, points a shaking finger at her. 

"That wasn't fucking funny!" She barks, but a second later she lets out a laugh, which turns into several peals of laughter that leave her stomach aching. 

Well, at least now they know that zombies are adaptable fuckers. Lydia says something about it making sense that the disease could mutate and adapt, and that some zombies are more able to survive than others. Cora just nods and wonders if she and Lydia will ever agree on anything. Lydia thinks that the zombies are still human, that they can be saved somehow, and Cora wants to believe that, but everything in her is just too exhausted to.


	4. Chapter 4

The heat hangs over them like a blanket as they walk down the interstate, dust covering their boots. Cora's feet are sore as hell and she groans slightly before stopping to remove a rock from her boot. It's wedged in there tight and it takes a minute for her to get it out. She puts her boot back on and laces it, then catches up to the others. Indiana is isanely humid and Cora hates it. She prefers the cold. It's one of the reasons she moved to New York. Her sister made it sound pretty amazing, and Cora liked it right away. Sure, some people were rude, but that never really bothered her, since she knows how to dish it right back out. 

They finally make it out of Indiana. Illinois isn't too bad, as far as the weather goes, and the flowers and trees are in full bloom. Wildflowers grow along the side of the road and Lydia plucks some and weaves them in her hair, like she's a goddamned Disney princess. Cora just rolls her eyes. She doesn't find the way Lydia's hair wraps around the flowers cute. She doesn't like the way Lydia laughs. And she certainly doesn't think that the little dimple on her right cheek is kind of adorable. She blinks and looks ahead, not even wanting to open that particular can of worms. 

She hasn't really thought about dating much lately, with good reason. The only creatures she seems to be able to attract are ones that want to suck out her brain like a slurpie, so it's not really surprising that romance is the last thing on her mind. She wonders if she'll ever find someone, maybe after she reunites with her family. After they stay in one place long enough for Cora to put down some roots. She's never really been good at that, but...her family is all she needs. She wonders when she stopped thinking that her family members could be dead, or turned. Now it doesn't even register as a possibility in her mind; she somehow just knows that they're okay. They have to be. 

Cora's aware that it makes no logical sense. She hasn't seen them in months, but hope has started seeping through her skin, down into her bones. It appears that Lydia and Stiles' optimism is rubbing off on her. She kicks at a rock and watches it bounce off the road. It skitters down into the field, landing in some tall grass. She hears a groan and sees a zombie pop its head up. Great. 

She begs Laura for her sword, who begrudgingly hands it over. One good swing and the creature is down. Flies start circling, then land on the zombie's bloody neck, and Cora winces as she wipes the sword off and gives it over to her sister. She's thankful that she hasn't had lunch yet, because...ew. 

They stop to eat and rest for a while. Cora sprawls out underneath a tree, and after a while she gets a little sleepy. She'd like nothing more than to doze off here, but then an image of her brother flashes in her mind, and she sits up. She takes a long drought from her water bottle, then looks to Laura. Lydia and Stiles silently pack up their stuff, not even needing to be told that they should probably get going. It's interesting how they can all read each other now; how they can communicate without words. It's a testament to how well they mesh together, even if Stiles does bug the shit out of Cora sometimes. And don't even get her started on how her sister hums incessantly. 

Lydia falls into step beside Cora when they start moving again. The silence isn't awkward. It's not the kind of silence that begs to be filled, and Cora finds that weird. Not in a bad way, necessarily. But she's so used to bantering with Lydia, that this silence beguiles her a little. Frustration spikes inside of her, mixed with curiosity. She'll never be able to figure this girl out, not if she lives to be a hundred. 

"So..." Lydia starts. "Do you like my flower crown?" She says, and gestures to her head. 

"You're such a dork, you know that?" Cora says, unable to keep a straight face. "It's great. Real...regal." 

"Why, thank you." 

" _Dork_." Cora emphasizes, then chuckles when Lydia swats at her shoulder. 

"Shut up. My hair's a mess, at least these flowers pretty it up a little," Lydia says. 

"Your hair looks fine," Cora blurts. "Besides, it's not like zombies are going to care." 

"I care. And these wildflowers are beautiful." 

Cora nods, and takes a closer look at the flowers entangled in Lydia's hair. They're purple. Lydia's favorite color. It's peculiar how such a simple fact makes Cora feel like she's known Lydia for years. But as it is, it's been four months, and Cora surmises that it'll take them about another six or seven before they get to California. Then they'll separate, and she'll probably never see Lydia again. A few months ago, she would have seen that as a good thing. Now she's not so sure.

"What are you going to do when we get to California?" Cora queries. 

Lydia turns to her slowly. "I'm going to see if my old school is still standing. And if it is, I'll go to the lab and get it working again. Stiles has agreed to help me, and since we're a pretty good team, I have no doubt we could at least get some control samples going. See if we can find a cure." Lydia shrugs apologetically. "I know you think I'm crazy--" 

"I don't. If anything, you're crazy smart. And I don't really know the first thing about biology or disease, or anything like that, but...uh...everyone has to believe in something. Hope is important, that's something I've come to learn over the past few months." 

"Oh," is all Lydia says. Now Cora feels awkward. 

"Yeah, uh...when we first met, I was kind of singing a different tune." 

"True...so what changed your mind?" 

Cora shrugs, not sure what to say. 'You' is what her mind blurts, and her mouth almost complies, but she blinks and shrugs again. She's honestly not sure why she's changed so much. She guesses it's inevitable. 

"I think I just...I've been through too much to not change, at this point," Cora says. She keeps her eyes ahead, all the while wanting to search Lydia's face for some clue as to what she's thinking.

"That's awfully cryptic," she comments. 

Cora can hear a softness in her voice that hasn't been present in most of their conversations. Not even when she talked about her parents' death, which...Cora doesn't know what to make of that. Or any of the changes happening between them. 

"Yeah, well, maybe I've finally found something to hope for. If I ever find my family again, I'd want to tell them that I never gave up looking for them. Because anything less--it's almost like giving up on each of them." 

"That's the deepest, most beautiful thing I've ever heard you say," Lydia says in amazement. 

Cora's not sure whether to be offended or just laugh it off, so she picks the latter. She shoves the other girl playfully and smirks. "Whatever." 

"No, I mean, it's great that you're taking that chance and searching for your family. I won't--I didn't get it." 

Cora feels like an ass now. "Yeah," is all she can think of to say. "Yeah." 

After a few more agonizing seconds of quiet, Stiles appears beside them, and Cora can honestly say she's never been happier to have him interrupt one of her conversations. When he's around, her crippling foot-in-mouth disease seems to dissipate somewhat. 

"Hello, ladies," he says, and twirls his gun in the air. Cora flinches before reminding herself that he's gotten better with a gun, and now has pretty decent aim. Still, the safety better be on. 

"Stiles," she grits out, determined not to show her relief. "How's your shoulder?" 

A couple of days ago, a zombie had thrown Stiles down on the ground and almost bitten him before Laura managed to shoot it in the head. Now he's got a huge bruise on his shoulder and (he says) the bone is still kind of tender. Cora wonders if he's just milking the 'injury' for all it's worth. 

"It's fine," he says. "I should probably take it easy for a couple more days though, which was why I was wondering if you two could go on watch tonight?" He gives Cora his best version of 'puppy dog' eyes, and she smirks and pushes his head away. 

"Fine," she agrees, before her gaze flicks to Lydia. 

"Sure," the other girl says, and shrugs. Like she doesn't really care one way or another, which...okay. Cora would honestly rather have Lydia hate her than just be indifferent. She reminds herself that she doesn't care either, even though she knows that's a total lie. She likes Lydia, she realizes. She likes how different she is from her, and how strong, smart, and resilient she is. Even though they've slowly been finding more out about each other, Lydia still manages to be a total mystery, one that Cora desperately wants to solve. 

Laura interrupts her thoughts when her shoulder bumps into hers, and they all walk side by side until the sun sets.

 

\---- 

 

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Cora has to know. "I mean, about what I said earlier? I didn't mean to joke about your parents--" 

"What? No, Cora, I'm not mad at you. It's okay. I--I'm still grieving for them, so it's still hard to talk about sometimes." 

She can hear the determination in Lydia's voice, the determination not to break down and cry, and it makes her want to take the other girl in her arms. She blinks and plays back their conversation from earlier, and realizes how self-centered she's being. Lydia is still clearly hurting and her own insecurities just seem so small. She's not even really sure what's she's insecure about, but she doesn't want to fuck up their newfound friendship by being insensitive. Though she probably will, because hello, she's Cora. She bites her lip and throws a rock into the field next to where they're sitting. 

"I am sorry about your parents. If you ever--need to talk..." 

Lydia turns to her, and their eyes meet for a moment. There's pain in her eyes, Cora can see it so clearly. She can see hesitation on Lydia's features, but she seems to know that Cora's being sincere, because after a moment she nods slightly. 

"Thanks, Cora." 

"Anytime." 

Lydia gets up to get some water and comes back. Some water falls onto her neck and Cora watches the droplets drip lower down to her collarbone before blinking and wrenching her gaze away. She looks out into the field, her eyes frantically searching for some zombies to kill, some distraction. Obviously she's more tired than she thought. She doesn't find Lydia cute. No way. 

Lydia notices her staring out into the field and chuckles. "Relax, Cora. We'll hear zombies if they come; they're not exactly quiet." 

"Yeah, I know. It's just that I'm really tired and if I let my guard down--" 

"Relax." Lydia repeats. "You fight best when you're relaxed." 

It's nearing twilight and the stars are just starting to become visible. Cora breathes in the night air and the sweet smell of honeydew tickles her nostrils. They're settled in a small grove a little off the highway. Laura and Stiles are fast asleep, and Cora wishes they had some damn coffee. It's difficult to stay awake when her melatonin levels are skyrocketing. She shuffles closer to Lydia, who's now sitting cross-legged next to her. 

"Maybe it's better if we stand," Lydia says quickly, and she gets up before Cora can frown at her in question. "So we don't fall asleep." 

"Uh...okay," Cora says, and slowly pulls herself up. After a few minutes, she finds herself leaning on Lydia, because she's so tired. She closes her eyes for a moment and drifts off a second later. 

She doesn't wake up until she feels an elbow in her ribs, and her eyes fly open. She looks at Lydia, then at the zombies ten feet away from them. Even in her sleepy state, she's able to pull out her gun and shoot two of them in the head, while Lydia uses her nunchucks to knock the other three down. Cora can't even see the nunchucks, they're swinging around Lydia so fast. She flicks out her knife and stabs the zombies before they can get back up, then walks back to Cora. 

"Guess standing didn't really keep you from falling asleep," She comments. "But that's okay. You can lean on me again, if you like. I'll wake you up if I see anything." 

"How come you're not sleepy?" Cora blurts. "Do you have a secret stash of coffee or something?" 

"No," Lydia laughs. "I'm actually tired as hell, but I guess I'm kind of used to pulling all-nighters. I would do it a couple times a week when I was in college."

"Oh," Cora says, before stepping closer to Lydia and leaning on her again. Her shoulder is really soft, and she smells nice. "You're so studious." 

"I was, yes." Lydia replies wistfully. 

Before Cora can think too much about it, she slings an arm around Lydia's shoulder and rubs it softly. Lydia's bright smile is the last thing she sees before she falls asleep again. 

She wakes up a few times in the night, and helps Lydia take out more of the undead. They've got a system down, and they try to stay as quiet as possible. Lydia uses her nunchucks, and Cora viciously swings her crowbar at any zombies who try to get past them. She's glad it has a sharpened edge, but she's still working out the kinks. Sometimes the sharp end gets stuck in the zombies' brain, and before she can pull it out, another zombie is on her. Lydia has to save her, making their current score of how many times they've saved the other's life five to three. Cora begrudgingly counts the time that Lydia shot the swimming zombies for her, even though Lydia was the one who threw them in the damn lake. 

Whatever. Cora's still ahead by two. Finally the sun comes up and Cora and Lydia wake up the other two. Lydia insists that she needs two hours sleep before they start walking, and Cora agrees. They drop on the ground and are in dreamland moments later. 

When they get back on the highway, it's a little after 9 am. Cora can tell because of the position of the sun; she's gotten good at estimating time based on that, since she doesn't have a watch or a phone. Stiles has a watch that looks like something from _Back To The Future_ , and Cora wouldn't be surprised if he made it himself. 

Illinois really is beautiful and Cora makes a mental note to draw later. When she has time. She still hasn't drawn Lydia yet, but she's not sure if she's ready to admit that she doesn't need Lydia to pose. She can draw the girl from sheer memory. Every dimple and feature is pretty ingrained on her mind. Even some of her dreams star Lydia. Usually the two of them are just fighting zombies, or getting ice cream, or something else mundane. Cora's not sure what that says about her subconscious, but she's never really believed in analyzing her dreams. She doesn't really think about much these days but just staying alive. 

April turns into May, which bleeds into June. One sunny afternoon, Laura brings up a subject that Cora's not ready to talk about yet. She's not sure she ever will be, if she's being honest. 

"So, sis. I've been thinking. If we get to California and--we can't find Derek or the others, I was thinking we could just hole up in one of the safe havens." 

Cora just nods, suddenly feeling numb. She doesn't want to discuss this. California seems so far away still, even if they are about halfway there. She's using the distance as an excuse to not think about the possibility that her family is lost. Gone. Turned. Dead. 

No. 

She can't think like that.

"I--yeah, I guess we can do that," Cora replies. Her voice comes out strangely void of emotion, and Laura notices. 

"Hey, I'm not saying that they are dead. I--I just thought that you didn't think that they were even--" 

"Maybe I've changed my mind," Cora says, more anger seeping into her tone than she'd intended. "Maybe I'm done being the pessimistic person I once was. I didn't want to tell you, because I knew you'd rub it in, but--I have hope. Hope that Derek, Peter, Mom and Dad are still alive. Hope that we won't all die out before we get to California. I don't know where it came from, and it kind of blindsided me." 

"Yeah, I mean, you've been telling me for two years that hope is dumb." 

"I never put it like that," Cora barks, but chuckles when she sees the twinkle in her sister's eye. 

"I think I know what changed your mind," Laura almost sing-songs, like they're in third grade. 

Cora debates pretending not to hear her, but then just shrugs. "Really, because I don't." 

"Lydia. She's changed your perspective on a lot of things." 

"Yeah, so?" 

"So I'm just wondering why a complete stranger you've only known for about six months can get through to you when your big sister can't," Laura smirks. 

"Lydia's not a stranger. Not anymore. And maybe--I don't know. Because she's cooler than you?" 

"Or maybe because you like her." 

Cora just scoffs. "No, I don't."

"Right," is all Laura says, in a patronizing tone that makes Cora wish she would have been meaner to her when they were kids.

 

\---- 

 

Two weeks later, she's ready to give Laura over to the next horde of zombies they find. 

Her sister means well, or at least thinks she does, but constantly trying to push her and Lydia together is just...the very definition of unhelpful in Cora's book. She's just taken to ignoring her sister's presence, or how Laura looks at Lydia and waggles her eyebrows. Cora realizes that it's more about just screwing with her than it is about getting them together. Or at least, that's what she tells herself. Laura isn't the type to play games, usually. In fifth grade, she helped Cora get the attention of her crush, Jenny Horowitz, by helping her get on the girl's soccer team. She'd even bought her her own soccer ball and practiced with her on weekends. 

Point being, Laura doesn't get invested in Cora's love life (or lack thereof) unless she's sure about it. Unless she sees a deep connection that is worth bugging the shit out of her sister for. That scares Cora, because Laura is obviously delusional. She's just hoping that insanity doesn't run in the family. Oh god, what if she's next? 

Lydia, for her part, doesn't really seem to grasp what Laura's trying to do. Which is something Cora is eternally grateful for, because she's sure she wouldn't be able to handle the humiliation. 

'Um, yeah, my sister thinks we'd be really great together, so maybe when this whole apocalypse thing is over we can have a romantic dinner of cold beans. If we don't die gruesome deaths before then. How about it?' 

Cringe. 

God, she hates Laura so much. 

They cross through most of Missouri before Laura finally gives up. She stops arranging it so that Lydia and Cora always take watch on the same nights, and Cora breathes a thank you to whoever might be listening. Unfortunately, she breathes it a little too loudly and Lydia hears. 

"I didn't know being on watch with me was such a punishment for you," Lydia says. 

Cora's stomach plummets when she hears the strain in her voice. 

"It's not you," Cora blurts. "My sister is just being a pain in the ass." 

She's hoping Lydia will just leave it at that. 

She doesn't. "Oh?" 

"Yeah." 

She's not going to make this easy for Lydia; she'll have to pull the truth from her with a pair of pliers. Because no way in hell is she ready to talk about this with anyone, especially her. 

Lydia clears her throat, never one to back down from a challenge. "Okay, well, you've been traveling together for a while. It makes sense that you'd get on each other's nerves. There's not really anywhere to escape from each other out here." 

"I'm all too aware. But don't worry, I won't leave her to die. I talked myself out of that idea this morning. She's more geographically knowledgeable than I am. Wouldn't want to get lost." 

Lydia chuckles. "Yes, we don't want that." 

Cora breathes a sigh of relief. Dodged that bullet. 

"So, are you going to make up soon? Because I like the both of you and I'm tired of having to run interference."

Cora shrugs. "She'll have to apologize first. Then maybe I'll consider it." 

Lydia throws her hands up, exasperated. Laura and Stiles are walking about 200 feet ahead of them, and Cora pretends not to notice Laura looking back at her occasionally. She's probably checking to see if she's announced her undying love for Lydia yet. 

Cora rolls her eyes before Lydia's voice pulls her out of her thoughts. 

"I swear, you two are the most stubborn people on this earth." 

"That's not saying much, seeing as there's not many of us left." 

"You're not changing the subject this time, Hale. What did Laura do to piss you off this much?" 

"She stuck her nose in where it doesn't belong." 

"Oh. That can be annoying."

"'Annoying' is an understatement," Cora snaps. "She's..." she trails off, figuring there's not much more she can say without revealing a whole hell of a lot. 

"What?" 

"Nevermind." 

"Fine," Lydia says. 

They continue on in silence. Cora knows what Lydia is doing. She's trying to guilt trip her. Hoping that the silent treatment will work. To her dismay, it does. She tells herself that she doesn't want to go back to fighting and not talking, because she's suffered enough whiplash, thank you very much. She sighs and scrubs and her forehead with her hand before turning slightly to Lydia.

"Look, she just thinks she knows what's best for me, and she acts all patronizing. She's not usually like that, but--I guess some of it is just because we're together all the time." 

Lydia nods in understanding. "I understand. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you into telling me anything." 

"Yes, you did." 

"Okay, I did." Lydia gives her an innocent smile and bats her eyelashes, and Cora nudges her playfully before her gaze shifts to her sister again. "You should talk to her."

Cora nods. "I will." 

 

\----

 

Three weeks later, they make their way out of Missouri and into Kansas. Laura and Cora make up, which basically means they stay up one night on watch and manage not to get into any verbal spats. Laura doesn't apologize, not out loud, but she doesn't bring up Cora's romantic life again. 

Cora's not sure why she even tried in the first place. Probably some crap about wanting her to be happy. She can imagine what her sister would say: 'Just because we're in the middle of a zombie plague doesn't mean you can't get some, Cora.' And that's...sweet, but, really, Cora is perfectly content on her own. 

And Lydia is way out of her league, anyway. 

It's official. She's slowly going insane. Damn genetics.


	5. Chapter 5

There's something about the freshness of the air, mixed with the dew of the early morning. Cora can't stop breathing it in deeply, letting the sweetness fill her. She places her drawing pad on her knee and looks off into the distance. She gets ready to draw the landscape, and finishes a pretty nice drawing of it quickly, but then finds herself turning the page and drawing something else. 

She's not even consciously sure why she starts drawing a face, with two wide, sparkling eyes, but her mind catches up and then she knows. Lydia, she's drawing Lydia. She can't stop, either, because it seems that her body isn't listening to what her mind is screaming. She can't stop perfecting the way that Lydia's mouth quirks, how her dimples form beautiful craters in her face. Her hair falls around her shoulders and Cora closes her eyes for a moment, hoping that not being able to see the drawing will somehow snap her out of whatever spell she's under. Still, her hand movements don't cease, and soon, a smiling Lydia is staring up at her. Cora smiles back before she can stop herself. 

This is just ridiculous. She quickly turns the page before squaring her shoulders. The sun is just starting to peek over the horizon, and Cora gazes at it and starts drawing again. Somehow, she ends up drawing Lydia three more times before letting out a frustrated growl and shoving her pad back in her bag. She doesn't know why it bugs her so much; Lydia has said she'd be honored if Cora drew her. Cora assumes she said that to be polite, though. She's not sure how Lydia would react if she knew that Cora's now drawn four images of her. If anything, it just proves that she thinks about the way Lydia looks. Enough so she can draw her in detail. 

Before she can contemplate it more, she feels a presence beside her and looks up to see her sister. 

"Hey, so I know I never verbally apologized for embarrassing the shit out of you. So...I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," Cora says, even though she's not totally sure it is. 

It's going to take some time for the rawness to heal, because it felt like her privacy was being violated. She knows that wasn't Laura's intention, but still. Her sister has all the subtlety of a raging bull. 

"No, it's not," Laura replies knowingly. "I promise I'll never do anything like that again. It's your life. I guess I just wanted to put a smile on your face. See if you could loosen up a bit." 

"I'm plenty loosened up," Cora protests. "Besides, trying to match me up with someone who I have nothing in common with is not the way to do that." 

"I know. I'm sorry." 

"I'll forgive you. I just need some time." 

Laura gives her a small hug. "You're a pretty kickass sister, you know that?" 

"I do," Cora smirks. "So are you. When you're not being a pain." 

Laura scoots closer to her and swings her leg over the rock they're sitting on. "I'm working on that particular character flaw. Give me time." 

"Somehow, I doubt that we'll ever stop being pains in each other's asses. At least some of the time." 

"Yeah." 

"Well, aren't you a talkative pair," a third voice cuts in. Stiles comes to sit on Cora's other side, and soon she's sandwiched between them both. She looks out at the horizon; the sun is still rising, painting a beautiful picture across the sky. She feels peaceful for the first time in weeks. Totally calm, which is a nice change. For a second, she feels like she's actually living, not just surviving. 

"Where's Lydia?" Cora blurts. She pointedly ignores Laura's look. 

"Still asleep," Stiles reports. "She's missing out on quite a view." 

"Yeah. There'll be other sunrises, though." This from Laura. "She needs her sleep. I put her on watch for three nights in a row. She won't say anything, but I could tell last night she was about to collapse." 

"Why are you the boss again?" Cora retorts.

"Because I'm the oldest. Shut up." 

"Ouch. That comeback really hurt. Someone call 911." 

Stiles chuckles as Cora and Laura continue to banter. None of them notice the zombies until they hear a scream, and the three of them clamber off of the rock. Lydia is fighting four zombies simultaneously; nunchucks in one hand, Laura's sword in the other. She's really perfected her fighting stance, Cora notices with pride, before jumping into the fray. She grabs a fist sized rock and aims it at one of the zombie's heads. She vaults it and the zombie falls. She reaches for her gun, but Stiles and Laura take care of the remaining two zombies that are standing by a cluster of trees. They're in a wide open field right next to the interstate, and Cora has discovered that most of Kansas is like that. It has a plethora of wheat fields and tumbleweeds and it's flatter than a pancake. 

When the creatures are lying dead on the ground, Cora allows herself to breathe normally. That had been a close call. If Lydia hadn't woken up when she did...she probably wouldn't be here. Or she would, but she wouldn't be Lydia. Cora shudders and looks at the strawberry blond, expecting to see anger and fear. Instead, Lydia calmly holsters her nunchucks and looks at the corpses on the ground. "

Well, that wasn't the most pleasant of wake up calls, but at least I didn't get eaten."

"We're sorry we weren't keeping better watch, Lydia," Stiles says. Cora doesn't blame Stiles for shrinking back slightly when Lydia whirls on him. 

"Oh yeah, sorry will make everything better. I could have died. Thanks for the help," she bites, before packing up her water bottle and the little amount of food she has left. Some crackers, cheese and bread, along with a bottle of soda. 

Cora knows better than to fight with her right now, so she silently follows. They get back on the interstate and walk for hours. Lydia doesn't say anything for the first two, but then Cora hears her forgive Stiles, and she relaxes her shoulders a little. The strain that had planted itself on her spine disappears. She's able to breathe easier knowing that Lydia isn't mad at them. Or Stiles, at least. 

They reach a gas station and trudge inside to see if they can pick up any supplies. They fill their water bottles from the tap in the bathroom and Cora walks out to the front of the store to find some food. She opens her duffel bag and stuffs some chips and crackers and whatever else she can find in there. They'll ration it later, of course. She walks outside then and waits for the others, leaning against the cool brick for a moment. 

That's when she hears a bark. 

She straightens up and looks around, frowning. Did a dog follow them here? Was it zombified? She pulls out her gun and cocks it, stepping away from the wall and creeping towards the sound. The bark continues, then stops, then picks up again. She runs towards it, turning around the back of the building, until she gets to the north side. 

There, a guy about her age is trying to shush his dog. She trains her gun on him and narrows her eyes. 

He notices her before she has a chance to ask him who the hell he is or what the hell he's doing there. Both are pretty stupid questions, if she thinks about it. He's probably just doing what she is: trying to stay alive. 

"Hey," the stranger says, holding his hands up. "I'm not a zombie, as you can see. My name's Isaac and this is my dog, Scout. Fun fact about me: guns make me kind of nervous, so if you could put yours down, I'd be really grateful." 

Cora just bites the inside of her cheek and slowly lowers her gun, then holsters it. "Had to make sure," she replies, studying Isaac for a moment. He doesn't look too badly malnourished, but there's a sunkenness to his features that suggests he's been on the run for a while. Maybe not just from zombies, if his slightly jumpy nature is anything to go by. 

"I'm Cora."

"Nice to meet you," Isaac says.

Cora can't remember the last time someone said that to her. 

"Likewise. So, Isaac, what's your story?" She queries, bending down to pet Scout. She's a Doberman, if Cora's not mistaken. She's always liked big dogs more than little ones. 

"Well, I've been on the run for a while....I'm from Wichita, and--let's just say things weren't great at home, even before the outbreak. I left with my friend Scott, but then we got separated. I've been trying to look for him." 

"Oh, that sucks," Cora says. She's not great at sympathy, but something about this stranger makes her want to try. 

"Yeah. But I'll find him. Even if I have to scour this whole country." 

"Do you have any clue where he might be?" 

Isaac shrugs. "He always said he wanted to go to Beacon Hills in California, but I don't know where that is or even how far." 

Cora ponders her next move, then decides it'd be better to make a decision as a group. Even if she really wants to get to know this guy better, because he seems like a kindred spirit, as corny as that sounds. She motions behind her and tries to give him a friendly smile. 

"Hey, I think you should meet my travel buddies. Just so happens we're on our way to California." 

She starts walking back to the entrance, sighing in relief when she hears Isaac's tentative footsteps behind her. Trusting in strangers is risky, and she has a feeling Isaac knows that better than anyone. It's nice that he seems to trust her. 

She pushes the gas station doors open and watches as three sets of eyes turn to her, Isaac and Scout. 

"Everyone, this is Isaac," she introduces, feeling idiotic.

Laura stiffens slightly before Cora gives her a reassuring look. She gives Isaac a small smile before gesturing Cora over.

"One second, Isaac," Laura says, before turning towards the rest of them.

Cora prepares herself for some eyerolls and scoldings, along with some questions of her sanity. She doesn't care. She's been questioning her sanity a lot lately as well, but that's not important right now. 

"Okay, Cora. What the hell?" 

"He looked like a lost puppy. I felt bad for him. He's looking for his friend and said he might be in Beacon Hills." 

"I don't know where the hell that is," Laura growls. 

"It sounds like a fictional place," Lydia says suspiciously. "Maybe he's playing us." 

"And why would he do that, Lydia? To steal all our valuables?" Cora rolls her eyes. "He's obviously human, and he looks harmless. I say we let him travel with us." 

Stiles gives his two cents. "I'm fine with that. His dog is cute. Looks like she could seriously fuck some zombie's shit up, too." 

Cora grins at Stiles and pats him hard on the back. She pretends not to notice the way he winces and rubs at where her hand lands. Oops. 

She straightens up and looks over at Lydia and Laura. "So, shall we vote? Everyone who's for him coming with us, say 'aye.'" 

Two 'ayes' are voiced, but Lydia remains silent. Cora shifts her gaze towards her for a brief moment before nodding. 

"All right, that's it then. He's with us." 

She turns back to Isaac and nods slightly. She feels her heart clench at the big smile she receives, like she just gave him the whole world or something. Really, she's not that special, or that nice, but Isaac's smile makes her feel less like a piece of shit and more like a hero.

 

\---- 

 

"I don't like him." 

Cora heaves a sigh. "I didn't like you either, when we first met. Give him time, maybe he'll grow on you." 

"Like mold," Lydia says in distaste. 

Cora vaguely remembers saying the same thing to Stiles and blinks. Are they psychically linked or something? Why can't they go back to hating each other? At least things were simpler then and Cora never felt like she was being pulled in two different directions. There was only her way or the highway, no room for compromising to account for anyone else's feelings. 

She's been a selfish prick. She's amazed that she didn't see that for the longest time. How does anyone put up with her? 

Probably with an insane amount of patience. It's time to return the favor. 

"Lydia, there's nothing wrong with him. He seems like a pretty cool guy." 

"Whatever you say. I suppose I trust your judgment." 

"I'm touched. Really though, what is your deal?" 

"There's just something about him I don't like. Not that _my_ opinion matters at all." 

Cora sighs and resists the temptation to just lie down in the middle of the road and wait for zombies to find her. She steps in front of Lydia, who's leaning against the brick wall of the gas station. They're outside, which is probably good because she doesn't want Isaac to overhear how much Lydia distrusts him. It'd be a pretty shitty first impression. She places both hands on Lydia's shoulders. She has to get her point across. 

"Of course it matters. It's just that we're safer in groups. If Laura and I hadn't helped you out--" 

"Oh, so you had to come save us? I remember it a little differently," Lydia snaps.

"We gave you weapons and taught you and Stiles how to defend yourselves." 

"We were doing just fine before we met you." 

Cora's aware that this conversation has slipped out of her control. Things have gotten heated and they're back to fighting. Cora has the sneaking suspicion that it's not about Isaac, not really. It's about accepting a new person into their dynamic, into their group. She's not sure why it would affect Lydia this much. She bites her lip and seriously considers what to say. 

"I know. You are both geniuses and fighters. You know how to survive. I'm not questioning that. All I'm saying is that now it's our turn to help someone else who might not be so good at surviving on their own." 

Lydia seems to see reason then, and the antagonistic expression leaves her face. Cora feels her relax and realizes that her hands are still on Lydia's shoulders. She removes them quickly before stepping back. 

"You're right, I should give him a chance. I know I've been acting like a bitch. I guess I just don't want anyone slowing us down. We're halfway to California, do you realize?" Lydia asks, and Cora wonders if she's going to start jumping in excitement.

"Yeah," she agrees. "It's a pretty great feeling." 

"You always did have a way with words." 

"Shut up." 

With that settled, they all decide to sleep at the gas station for the night. Isaac shows Cora how to barricade the door so zombies don't get in, and soon enough they settle in to sleep. Cora tries to ignore Laura's snores and finally drifts off. She dreams that she and Lydia are riding roller coasters at Disneyland. Splash Mountain is especially fun because Lydia throws her arms around her when they near the final drop. 

She wakes up and rubs at her eyes, then yawns slowly. Isaac is sleeping on the shelf across from her. She sits up and curses when she hits her head against the shelf. After she swings herself off her makeshift bed, she walks over to Laura, who is just waking up as well. Stiles and Lydia start to stir soon after, and then Cora decides to wake Isaac up. She strolls over to him and pokes him gingerly in the shoulder. He starts, then his eyes land on her and he relaxes. 

"Hey," he greets. "So, are we leaving?" 

"Yeah," Cora replies. "Do you have any belongings or weapons?" 

Isaac shakes his head. "Just Scout." 

Cora watches as the dog runs towards her master, and smiles. She's not going to regret this. Even if Lydia might still have a stick up her ass when it comes to trusting strangers, which is kind of hypocritical because they were strangers once as well. 

They all exit the gas station and get on the highway. Isaac falls into step beside Cora and they start talking, striking up a conversation easily. She marvels at how simple things are with Isaac. No pressure, no awkwardness. No danger of putting her foot in her mouth. 

It's really nice. 

Isaac talks about his favorite comics, his favorite sports teams and music. He talks briefly about his foster dad and how he used to abuse him, and Cora feels her lungs constrict. It turns out that there were plenty of monsters crawling the earth before zombies came to be. She listens and talks about her family, and before the day is over, she can tell she's made a new friend. A good one. It should be strange, but it just feels so natural to talk with Isaac about stupid shit. 

They take night watch together, and Cora sees that he's not a terrible fighter. Scout is definitely a good guard dog. Several times during the night, Cora doesn't even need to reach for her gun before Scout is ripping the throat out of one of the monsters. She raises her eyebrows, impressed, and pats Scout on the head. 

The crickets start chirping loudly at around midnight, and Cora holds back a groan. She finds it annoying after a while and hits her foot against a tree trunk to shut them up. Surprisingly, it works, and Cora rubs at her eyes. She's not going to fall asleep. Not now. She definitely doesn't wish for a repeat of last time. Lydia needs to stay safe. They all need to stay safe. 

"What are you thinking about?' Isaac questions. 

Cora shrugs in response, leaning against the tree they're standing under. "Stuff." 

"Interesting."

"Yep." 

"So...I didn't want to ask this earlier, but it seems like the redhead--Lydia? Doesn't really like me, and I was just wondering if I did something to piss her off." 

"No, I don't think you did. She's just distrustful of strangers. Don't feel bad, she's like that with everyone." 

Cora doesn't mean to come to Lydia's defense so readily, and blinks confusedly for a few moments. Her brain and mouth don't seem to be under her control at the moment. 

"Was she like that with you?" Isaac leans against the tree too, and faces her.

Cora feels caught. "No. More like we fought every waking second. She hated me. I don't really know what's changed; I guess we've learned to co-exist." 

"Well, then I guess there's hope for me," Isaac smiles.

Cora really doesn't understand how anyone could dislike this guy. She smirks at him and they spend the rest of the night talking lightly about everything and nothing at all. 

 

\---- 

 

It's early August before Isaac and Lydia's relationship shows any signs of progress. Isaac compliments Lydia on how quickly she can swing her nunchucks, and Lydia flushes slightly before stiffly nodding. She thanks him and Cora feels like she's in the twilight zone. She gives Isaac a quick smile before training her features into a neutral expression when Lydia glances at her. Things are looking up. Now she doesn't have to constantly choose between Lydia and Isaac. It always felt like a battle, having to choose who to spar with, or who to go on watch with. Lydia hadn't meant to put her in that position, Cora knows, but it still hurt nonetheless. 

Now though, it seems that Lydia is finally letting Isaac's charm seep through her cold exterior. It takes everything in her not to rub it in Lydia's face. That would destroy all the progress they've made, and while Cora finds it exciting to see Lydia all riled up, she'd rather not have it be directed at her.

One night, when she's cleaning her rifle, Lydia comes to sit next to her. "I know you're dying to hear it, so I'll be nice, just this once. You were right." 

Cora just gives her a winning smile. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that." 

"You were right," Lydia grits out, though Cora can see the traces of a smile pulling at her mouth. Those dimples never lie. "I judged him way too quickly and didn't take the time to get to know him. He's really nice, and a good friend."

"Told you." 

"Yes, you did." Lydia's eyes trace over her for a moment, and Cora feels naked. She's wearing a tank top, because it's incredibly humid, even at night. She clears her throat and looks down at her gun before gazing up at Lydia again. 

"It's beautiful outside," Lydia comments. 

"It really is," Cora agrees, and they peer at each other for a few seconds. 

The look in Lydia's eyes is strangely contemplative, like she's pondering a question that she has never asked herself before. The moment hangs between them and Cora doesn't want to break it, doesn't even know how to. It's stronger than the both of them. It's like everything else is inconsequential and for a split second, Cora wants to step closer and feel Lydia's body heat on hers. She wants nothing more than to reach out and touch her hair, tuck it behind her ear. To trace her earlobe softly with her fingers. To taste the sweat on her skin.

What. The. Hell. 

Lydia steps back, and Cora feels the moment break into a million shards of what might have been, if she'd just been brave enough to act. 

She plasters a smirk on her face and points back to her gun. "Well, I better get back to cleaning this." 

"I can help you." 

"No, that's okay." Cora says quickly. 

"All righty. Oh, before I go, I was wondering if...if you remembered that you said you could draw me sometime, and not to rush you or anything, but I was wondering if you needed me to pose sometime, I mean, I'd love to."

Cora feels her heart race before placing her rifle down. "Actually, I've already drawn you a couple of times," Cora explains. She doesn't look at Lydia's face. She's not ready to see the look of surprise that she's sure is there. 

"You have? Cora, that's so sweet."

Cora looks up and feels warm all over and just wants to stand up, filled suddenly with a burst of energy. She straightens and brushes her hands on her pants, trying to be nonchalant. 

"Uh...thanks." 

"Can I see your drawings?" 

"Sure. Let me just go get them." Cora feels like she's walking with lead legs as she goes to her duffel bag and digs for her drawing pad. She stomps back towards Lydia and practically shoves the pad in her hands. Then she sits down and hopes that Lydia won't be totally disgusted by how she sees her. Hopefully she'll like her sketches. 

Cora knows she's a pretty decent artist, and since she was a kid, she has never been too reticent to show people her work. She's confident and doesn't mind constructive criticism. She's not sure she could take criticism from Lydia though, and she feels her face going numb before she notices that she has pretty much given up on breathing. She'll breathe again when Lydia says something. 

"This is--wow. Cora, you are so talented," Lydia marvels, and Cora finally lets herself suck in some much needed oxygen. 

Lydia's looking down at the drawing of herself, taking in every detail. Cora feels oddly comforted by the fact that she didn't just flip through them quickly, but actually took time to study them.

"Thank you. I really didn't think it was that good, I mean, I know I wasn't looking at you while I was doing it."

"Are you joking? These are incredible. I am so flattered," Lydia gushes. "And the fact that you drew these from memory...it's mind-blowing." 

Before Cora knows what is happening, Lydia steps towards her and plants a soft kiss on her cheek. 

"I mean it," Lydia almost whispers, before slowly handing Cora her pad back and turning to walk away. 

Cora doesn't mean to trace the place where Lydia just kissed her with her fingers. She can't explain the way her cheek is still burning with the heat from Lydia's mouth. She can't explain anything anymore, and it's really fucking with her mind. It takes a while for her to fall asleep that night, because her mind keeps buzzing with thoughts of how good it feels to be complimented by Lydia Martin. She can do anything. She can rule the world. 

She feels like she already does.


	6. Chapter 6

Colorado is freezing when they get there, even though it's only September. Cora bundles up in her hoodie and leather jacket, and they start fires every night, braving the risk of attracting zombies. It drops to 10 degrees at night and each morning they wake up more miserable than the night before. After about two weeks of this, they come across a cabin resort to stay in. It's abandoned and has an eerie feel to it, but Cora really doesn't care. She just wants to be somewhere warm, at least for the night. 

They hole up in the lobby, too tired to walk up the stairs to see how many rooms there are. They barricade the door with chairs and a chain lock that Lydia found while walking through the previous town. They wish each other good night and fall fast asleep. 

The next morning brings snow. Not just a light snow fall, either, but almost two feet of it, and Cora grumbles. They won't be leaving the cabin any time soon. Isaac makes them all some oatmeal and they huddle around in a circle. At least the heating is starting to work; Stiles spends most of the morning trying to fix it before he finally loses his temper and kicks at one of the radiators. It coughs to life and Cora feels she can breathe a little easier. She might prefer cold over cloying heat but that doesn't mean that she wants to freeze to death. And what if zombies find them? They're impervious to the cold, or at least that's what Lydia says. Their cells function in much harsher levels than humans who haven't been affected by the disease. Cora knows better than to doubt Lydia's knowledge. 

Cora gets cabin fever about three days later and wants nothing more than to run outside, but then she thinks better of it, because holy crapsticks, is it cold. She hates this so much, and wants nothing more than to keep going, but she's sure that if they try, they'll be overtaken by zombies. Best to wait until this clears up. 

Lydia, for her part, seems to be running low on patience too. Laura's temper has a distinctly shorter fuse until one day, she can't take it any more. 

"I'm going out," she announces about a week into their confinement. "We need some firewood anyway, since the heater is unpredictable. Anyone want to come with?" 

Cora sits up and looks at Laura, frowning. She knows that it's a risk to go outside, but then, everything is a risk these days. And she'd rather not spend another minute doing nothing; she's bored out of her mind. She nods slowly and slides off the leather couch she'd been lounging on. 

"Sure, I'll go with you." 

Stiles shrugs. "Sure. We should probably all go, just to be safe." 

"Yeah," Isaac agrees. 

That just leaves Lydia, and Cora tries not to look at her too expectantly. No one says the vote has to be unanimous, but it's kind of an unwritten rule, and Cora really wants to get the hell out of here. 

"One question, if we leave, how will zombies not get in? We can't exactly barricade it from the outside." 

Laura ponders this for a moment. "We'll lock the doors." 

"They're strong enough to break them down." 

"Yeah, but why would they want to go in here while we're gone?" Laura queries, and Cora has to admit she has a good point. "They'll have no one to feed on." 

"Fine," Lydia sighs. "Let's go get some firewood." 

With that, they bundle up and stomp outside. Cora prepares herself for the strong gusts of wind and bites her lip when she realizes that preparation does nothing to ease her. Her breath comes out in puffs of air and every step is a chore because of how much snow has fallen. She looks back at the others and hopes they don't die out here. It's becoming more and more of a possibility.

They don't come across too many undead, and Scout takes care of them quickly. Cora really loves that dog. They each pick up some sticks and logs that could serve as pretty decent firewood, and then start to make their way back to the cabin resort. It begins to snow again and Cora curses. 

They're walking down a steep hill, Lydia and Cora straggling behind, when Laura loses her footing and falls. She moans in pain while Cora rushes to her. She rolls up her pant leg to take a look at the ankle, and sure enough, it's swollen and bruised. She mentally diagnoses it as a sprain before she hears some growls to her right. Scout has her ears pricked forward, and Cora knows that's probably not a good sign. 

She stands up and cocks her two pistols, aiming towards the small cluster of trees. Zombies are pretty good at camouflage; she can't tell how many there are. She feels Isaac, Stiles and Lydia come to stand next to her. Isaac has some throwing stars that he made himself, which is pretty impressive. Lydia is armed with a rifle, and Stiles still has the pistol that they'd picked up in Indianapolis. They all stand in front of Laura, wordlessly protecting her from whatever is about to come out of those trees. Steeling herself, Cora focuses and breathes deeply. Now is not really the time for cliche declarations, but honestly, if she dies today, she's taking as many of those fuckers as she can down with her. 

She turns to Isaac. "Do you want a gun too?" She offers, and reaches into her pack for a glock.

He takes it gratefully and tucks it into the back of his pants before grasping tighter onto the metal stars in his hand. His eyes look frightened, but determined, and Cora takes what little strength she can from that. They'll get out of this. 

Maybe.

The field next to them floods with zombies and Cora doesn't have time to count how many are sprinting towards them. She's too busy aiming and shooting. Her shoulder rubs up against Lydia and she takes comfort in the fact that she's still with her, fighting alongside her like the brave soldier she is. Her blue beanie creates a pretty interesting contrast against her red hair and Cora really shouldn't be admiring that right now. She sucks in a breath and keeps shooting. 

Isaac has great hand-eye coordination, taking out several of the undead before they get close. However, they're soon upon them, climbing up the hill, and Cora holsters her guns and pulls out her knife instead. Laura is still laying on the ground, trying in vain to stand up. They form a circle of defense around her and fight tirelessly, each whir of their weapons echoing in the cold air. 

Laura grits out, "Here, Isaac, take my sword." 

Isaac turns and almost gets bitten before Lydia lets out a scream and shoots one of the zombies at close range, right in the head. Cora raises her eyebrows and gives her a nod of appreciation. Isaac turns back, Laura's sword now in his hands, and lets out a battle cry, swinging the sword around his head like a ninja. 

"Watch it," she grumbles, ducking slightly.

Lydia giggles in spite of the fucked up situation they've now found themselves in, and that seems to lighten the mood a little. Or at least renew their verve for battle. Cora thinks maybe there are one hundred or more, she's now able to estimate, and so it's pretty amazing that they're not all messily dead at this point. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Stiles duck as one of the zombies swings for him, then stabs it in the stomach. It falls to the ground, moaning loudly. She hates the sound zombies make, it's gruesome and not at all pretty. 

Her arms are starting to ache from the strain, but still she pushes on. There's not as many of them now, maybe thirty or forty. She focuses on Scout for a moment, who is sprinting around and attacking as many zombies as she can. Finally, they're safe, and Isaac whistles for Scout. She comes bounding towards them, panting from the exercise. 

They all turn to Laura, who rolls her eyes. "Damn. I always miss out on the fun stuff." 

Cora laughs in spite of herself and pulls her sister to her feet. Isaac gets on her other side and they help her walk back to the cabin, while Lydia and Stiles carry as much firewood as they can. Cora still feels like her blood is rushing, and her mind buzzes loudly, drowning out the voices of her sister and Isaac. They'd almost died. Seeing as how they do this on a regular basis, she should be used to it, but it still freaked her out. 

They reach the cabin and Cora walks up stairs, to the room she'd been staying in for the past week. She closes the door and collapses on the bed, determined not to cry. She's not sure why she even wants to, why it feels like there's so much pressure building inside of her right now. She's just exhausted, and wants to be in California already. She misses her family so much, and she'd almost just lost one member of it. She hates herself for agreeing with her sister's dumb plan, all the while admitting that it was kind of nice to get outside. 

Cora feels alone, even though she knows she has people surrounding her, people who care about her and would fight for her. She's happy that Lydia and her are finally managing to get along, but yet, a sadness pricks at her because she knows she'll never be able to fully relate to Lydia and what the other girl has been through. They're so different and Cora doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing anymore. She doesn't see the world in shades of black and white like she used to.

A knock at the door pulls her out of her thoughts, and she shoves herself off the bed to open it. 

Lydia is standing there, her hand slightly raised. 

"Hey," she says softly. 

"Hi." 

"I was just wondering if you were okay, I mean, you looked kind of freaked out back there," Lydia comments. 

"Oh, you mean when my sister fell and we almost died? Yeah, I guess you could say 'freaked out' is a pretty accurate term," Cora snaps. 

She knows as the words slip out that she's lashing out at the wrong person. Hell, there's no one person to blame for what happened. She shakes her head slightly and looks down. Clearing her throat, she looks back up at Lydia. 

"Shit, I'm sorry. I don't know why I always do that. Please, come in," she offers, and steps back to let Lydia inside her room.

Lydia tilts her head and walks inside, an look of understanding on her face. Cora is amazed at how patient Lydia can be, and how she doesn't get angry anymore at Cora's moods. It used to be one of the reasons why they were always arguing, but now it seems to have the opposite effect. Lydia sits down at the edge of her bed and looks up at Cora, who feels like Lydia can look into her soul. She blinks and steps closer, wondering why she suddenly has the desire to be near her. 

"Listen," Lydia pipes up. "I know you try to project that you're this badass superhero and you don't have any feelings or weaknesses, but I'm here to tell you that it's okay. Newsflash, you're human," she finishes, her voice oddly comforting.

Cora runs a hand through her hair and slowly sits on the bed next to Lydia. "I have feelings," she defends. "I just don't show them a lot." 

"I'm starting to get that. Oh, by the way, your sister is okay. She's icing her ankle and has promised not to do anything stupid like that again." 

"Yeah, I guess we'll see how long that lasts." 

"If it makes you feel any better, I think we're a pretty awesome team. I mean, we took out more than a hundred zombies, just the four of us. So you really shouldn't worry so much." 

Cora chuckles. "I thought you were the worry wart of the group." 

"That's what I thought, too, but you're giving me a run for my money," Lydia smirks. "It's like we've reversed roles or something." 

All thoughts of zombies and death and fighting flee her mind when she turns to Lydia then. Even after the hell they'd just been through, she looks beautiful. Cora wants to draw her, just like she is now, her blue beanie hanging slightly off her head. Her thoughts come to a screeching halt when Lydia's eyes meet hers, and even if Cora wants to swim in denial for the rest of her life, blissfully unaware of what's happening between them, she knows now that she can't. 

Damn it, her sister is right. 

That bites more than the whole 'there's no chance in hell' crush thing she's got going on. 

 

\----

 

She overhears Lydia asking Laura about her, wondering if anything's up. She doesn't mean to be spying on Lydia; she's not a stalker, but she's standing in the kitchen getting herself some coffee and hears voices in the hallway. The soft timbre she's come to associate with Lydia's voice is gone, replaced with slight worry. 

Lydia's worried about her. Probably because Cora's been avoiding her. She knows she's acting immature, but she has her reasons. She's freaking the fuck out. And Lydia isn't helping with her considerate attitude and caring, sweet demeanor. It's just burying Cora deeper inside this hole she has no idea how she fell into. 

"Are you sure she's okay?" Lydia queries, her voice low. 

Cora's hand grips tighter onto her coffee mug and she leans against the counter.

"How the hell would I know? She doesn't tell me everything," Laura replies groggily. 

"Okay, well, if she happens to tell you why she's avoiding me, if you could convey that back to me, I'd be eternally grateful." 

"Whatever, nerd. I need some coffee." 

Cora quickly leaves the kitchen, her heart pounding in her chest. She walks quickly up the stairs towards her room and almost rushes into Isaac, spilling some of her coffee on herself. 

"Damn," she growls, then wipes futilely at the stain. 

"Good morning to you too." 

"Save it, Lahey. I'm not a morning person." 

"All right. Sorry," Isaac says, holding his hands up. "You've been looking like a deer in the headlights for the past three days. Ever since we got back from our outdoor excursion." 

Cora mentally rolls her eyes at his choice of words. It had been a freaking blood bath so of course Isaac goes with 'outdoor excursion.' She'd laugh if she wasn't so tired and anxious. It's a pretty shitty combination. She leans against the wall for a second and shrugs. 

"I'm fine. I just keep thinking about how close of a call that was." 

Scout appears next to Isaac and Cora absentmindedly starts scratching at her ears. Her warm tongue laps at Cora's hand.

"You sure that's it?" 

"Yeah," Cora snaps. "I don't like getting almost eaten, so I think I'm allowed to freak out about it. There doesn't have to be anything else going on for me to be a little jumpy," she finishes. 

It's too early for this shit. She's not going to spill her guts to Isaac about the impossible crush she has on Lydia. Nope.

She's just going to ignore it and hope it goes away, because there's no point in doing anything else. They'll be in California in a few months, if they ever manage to get out of here, and then she and Lydia will go their separate ways. Besides, she's not even really sure what she feels for Lydia yet, or if it'll last. 

She spends most of her time trying not to think about it, since it's starting to make her brain hurt. At the same time, she feels like shit for avoiding Lydia. She just needs some space right now, and when they get out of here she'll be good as new. The isolation is probably just getting to her. 

Isaac just raises his eyebrows slightly and steps back, walking down the hallway. Cora barely conceals her groan and stomps the rest of the way to her room. 

Finally, two days later, which feels like an eternity, the snow starts melting, and everyone packs up their stuff. Cora finds the cold invigorating this time around, since she's not really anticipating falling to her death in a snow drift. They step back near the highway and keeps her eyes ahead. Lydia steps near her, which Cora should have expected. She doesn't really know what to say, so for a while, silence prevails. 

'Sorry I've been avoiding you' just sounds dumb, even in her mind. Cora's aware she doesn't have a great mental filter but she knows better than to bring this up right now. If she apologizes, then she'll have to explain why and she is so not ready to do that. 

Lydia doesn't seem to be too pissed off at her, which is good. Hopefully she just thinks that Cora needed time to clear her head after their close call. She counts it as a good sign that the only chill she's feeling right now is from the weather. 

Lydia turns to her and just smiles, and oh god, Cora's never going to get over this. Fuck. She'd been an idiot to think she could--

"So, are you doing okay?" 

"What? Me? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Cora babbles.

Lydia smiles wider, looking half-convinced. "Good. I wouldn't want you to feel bad if there was something I could do." 

Before Cora can ask what she means by that, Stiles steps near her other side and she tunes out his chatter. Her mind whirls around the way Lydia smiles, the way that she makes Cora feel so safe, yet so unlike herself. 

She's getting intimately familiar with paradoxes these days. It sucks because she's used to being completely decisive and sure of who she is. Deep down, Cora knows when that changed. 

"So there I was, sick as a dog from eating all the Halloween candy, but I still wanted to go trick or treating because I wanted to show off my He-Man costume. I made it myself," she hears Stiles say, and turns to him. 

"That's really cool, Stiles." 

"You weren't listening to me, I know that face." He shrugs it off and rubs his hands together for warmth. "What was your most epic Halloween costume?" 

Cora thinks for a second, glad for the distraction. She feels Lydia's arm bump against hers occasionally and bites her lip, trying to focus. What was the question? 

"Um, I'm going to have to say Robin Hood," Cora replies. "I had a thing for him when I was younger. I would dress up as him a lot and pretend I was Robin, and sometimes even Laura and Derek would play with me. She'd be Little John and Derek would be the sheriff of Nottingham, and we'd do sword fights and stuff. It was a lot of fun." 

Cora snickers, remembering. Laura will probably kill her for telling this story, but she doesn't care. 

"Sounds like it was," Stiles replies, his voice soft. 

Cora just nods and almost falters when she feels Lydia grasp onto her hand, communicating without words. She squeezes back and wishes that Lydia knew just what she was doing to her. How much she meant to her. 

Reluctantly, she lets Lydia's hand go and they keep walking down the road, trading dumb stories from their past. 

 

\----

 

Cora finds out that Lydia loves pink--no, that's an understatement. She has an unhealthy obsession with it, Stiles says. Lydia flushes angrily and punches Stiles in the shoulder five times before he shuts up. 

"Shows what you know, Stiles," Lydia snaps. "I'm more into purple these days." 

Cora turns to Stiles and smirks. "Even I knew that." 

"Hey! No ganging up on me," Stiles complains. 

Isaac and Laura are strolling along the highway ahead of them, and Cora's glad to see that Isaac is getting along well with everyone. He's become a good friend and she hopes that she'll be able visit him in Beacon Hills. California is closer now; they're almost out of Colorado and they only have two states to go. It amazes Cora that they've all made it this far. At the beginning of their trip, it seemed so daunting and she was sure that Lydia and her would end up killing each other. 

Nope, instead she just developed a debilitating crush. Surprise.

She huffs a sigh and feels Lydia's hand bump against hers again. She closes her eyes and wonders what Lydia's trying to tell her, because it's clear that she's accidentally-on-purpose bringing her hand close to Cora's so that they'll touch. And Cora's letting it happen, because of course she is. Because pulling away would send a message that she doesn't want contact and that couldn't be further from the truth. Plus, Stiles is on her other side, so she's kind of trapped between them. 

Finally, she stuffs her hands in her pockets and focuses on Stiles detailed explanation on why he loves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. She pretends not to notice Lydia's disappointed huff, and keeps her eyes on the road.


	7. Chapter 7

"Scout!" Cora calls out, searching the corn field she's standing in. 

The dog went to pee thirty minutes ago and Cora hopes nothing has happened to her. She rubs at her neck to alleviate the soreness that seems to be settled deep in the muscle and groans. She turns as Isaac stands next to her, frowning as he just whistles shrilly. Then she hears rustling in the corn stalks and sure enough, there's Scout. She folds her arms and smirks despite herself as Isaac bends down to pet his dog. He ruffles her ears and kisses her head softly before turning back to Cora. 

"Don't feel bad. She's not used to you yet." 

Cora nods slowly. "How long have you had her?" 

"Since she was a pup. I got her from the pound and took care of her. She's about six now, I think." 

"Wow. That's really sweet." 

"Yeah. I think she may have imprinted on me a little. I swear she still tries to suckle at my nipples sometimes," Isaac smirks, and Cora can't keep the peal of laughter inside. 

Isaac is skilled at making her laugh. It's one of the reasons she loves to have him around, plus he knows just where to look for food, and what berries are edible. A couple of miles back, they'd found a bunch of mulberry bushes, and Cora still has purple juice under her finger nails. She's completely full, which is a pleasant change. She pats her belly absent-mindedly and looks back at Isaac, who smiles at her wider and walks back to join the others. 

They've made pretty good time; thankfully Isaac hasn't slowed them down much at all. In fact, Cora thinks they've probably gone faster in the two months since Isaac joined them. It's the middle of October when they cross the border into Utah. Cora's feet are sore as hell and she's tired most of the time, but she can't deny that there's a spring in her step and excitement gripping her at the prospect of being so close to the end of their journey. 

In other news, she thinks that her crush on Lydia has died down a little. She's been a little too busy thinking about California, even if a tiny pang explodes in her chest whenever she ponders it for too long. Lydia and her will probably never see each other again. It's something neither of them have talked about, probably because it's just so hard to even believe they've made it this far. The good news is, their times-we-saved-each-other's-life score is still the same: Five to three, and Cora's competitive nature gets a weird thrill from knowing this. 

She wonders if Lydia will create dangerous situations just to even the score. Chuckling at the weird turn her thoughts have taken, she grabs her water bottle and takes a long drought. 

Later that night, when she's undoing her bedroll, Isaac makes his way over to her, and the look on his face is intense and serious, not really what she's used to. She straightens and fixes him with a quizzical look. 

"Hey," she says, drawing out the word. "Is something up?" 

"I--I have to talk to you about something," Isaac blurts, and in the light from the campfire, Cora can see his cheeks flushing slightly.

"Okay..."

"So, we've known each other for about three months, and I think you're really cool. Like, really nice." 

"Thanks." 

"Let me finish. So I just...I was thinking maybe after you find your family, you could come to Beacon Hills with me. If you want. You could bring your family, too, of course," He adds.

"Um...I don't know. I mean, I can visit you," Cora says with a sinking feeling. She's pretty sure she knows what Isaac is getting at, but she doesn't know how she even got here. She didn't try to lead him on or anything. Shit. 

"Yeah, but I was thinking...I mean..." 

Cora closes her eyes for a few seconds, trying to figure out if this is actually happening, and when she opens them, Isaac's face is really close to hers. She feels his lips on hers and wishes that this could be enough. That Isaac could be enough for her because they get along so well and they're so alike. It would be easier, simpler, and best of all, she wouldn't have to deal with any messy, horrible, unpredictable feelings. She wouldn't ever experience the ecstatic highs of being in love, and she desperately wants that to be enough, but it's not. She wishes so badly that she doesn't think about kissing a certain strawberry blonde the moment that Isaac's lips touch hers. She hates herself for even considering letting him continue, because maybe she'll learn to love him. 

No. 

He deserves better. She's not going to use him like that. 

She pushes him back gently and mumbles an apology, taking three solid steps backwards. She doesn't how many 'sorrys' fall past her lips but she knows that she's doing the right thing, even if it hurts like hell right now. She's hurting a good friend of hers; she might even go so far as to call him her best friend, even though they haven't known each other long. She trusts him implicitly, which is incredibly rare for her. She'd had no idea there'd been stronger feelings on his side. 

"I'm sorry," she says again, feeling like a broken record. "I--you're a great friend, but I don't...I'm sorry." 

Isaac steps back, a resigned look on his face. He tries to mask it for her sake, but she still gets a glimpse of his pained expression. Thank fuck no one else is around; Stiles and Lydia are on watch and Laura is already asleep about five hundred feet away. 

"Hey, it's okay," he says, his voice breaking. "I misread the signs and I thought--I mean, I don't regret liking you. You're really cool." 

"So you keep telling me," she replies, feeling like she's going to break into tears any second. 

"Hey, I--we can still be friends," Isaac says firmly, and Cora is so glad she's not the one to say it. 

She sighs in relief and nods. "Great. But if you need some time or whatever, take it," she says, nudging him softly. He doesn't shrink away from her touch, but it's still a little awkward. She pulls her hand back and clears her throat, wondering how long it will be before their easy rapport comes back. She watches as Isaac nods slowly and turns to walk away before she groans and throws herself on her bedroll. 

All in all, Cora feels like utter shit. 

 

\----

 

She wakes up the next morning with a blistering headache and knits her eyes shut again, wanting to go back to sleep. By sheer force of will, she pulls herself up and silently packs up her stuff. Isaac doesn't meet her eyes when she offers to help him pack up the food. He just nods stiffly and feeds Scout some beef jerky. 

Yeah, this is about as fun as chewing glass. What's even worse is that Lydia, Stiles and Laura notice that something shifted between her and Isaac and they keep giving her weird looks. Real subtle. 

Around noon, Laura waits for Cora to catch up to her, then looks ahead to where Isaac is walking. Cora knows what's coming, and prepares herself for Laura to interrogate her relentlessly. 

But she doesn't. She stays quiet for a while, and Cora can tell she's thinking hard. Pensive Laura is almost as bad as Meddlesome Laura, so she doesn't let her guard down just yet. 

"So, did Isaac do something to piss you off? Did he--hurt you?" Laura asks, slowly, as if she's trying the words on for size.

Cora knows immediately what she is trying to say. "No! He didn't do anything. He just--um--he asked if I wanted to go to Beacon Hills with him, and then he kissed me." 

Laura cracks her knuckles. "I'm going to beat the shit out of that little--" 

"He didn't force himself on me," Cora interrupts, caught between feeling indignant that Laura thinks she can't fight her own battles, and grateful that her sister is so protective. "Come on, he's not like that. I stepped back and told him I didn't like him like that, and that's why things are weird between us right now. End of story, nothing to see here." 

"Okay." Laura breathes. "I--"

"I really don't want to talk about this anymore. It's torture enough without having to rehash everything." 

"Fine, sorry." 

It takes about a week, but finally Isaac and Cora are joking and talking easily, as if nothing changed between them. Sometimes Isaac clears his throat awkwardly if her hand brushes his or she steps into his personal space, but other than that, it's like they're back to being good friends. Cora feels bad, because she wishes that she could be the girl for him. She's never really been in this position before; usually she's the one with the crush that goes nowhere, either because she's too chicken to say anything or the other person hates her because of her rough personality. Well, hate might be a strong word. Lydia doesn't hate her. 

And she's back to thinking about Lydia. God, why can't she get off of this merry-go-round? It's maddening. 

Violently killing zombies doesn't do anything to stop the whirl of thoughts circling around in her mind, and she wonders when she started thinking so much instead of just acting. Why hasn't she just told Lydia how she feels? 

'Because feelings are overrated,' is the first answer her mind supplies. The more she considers it though, she discovers that really, underneath all her bravado and toughness, she's terrified of what Lydia will say. She'd rather call it off then wait for some perfect moment. She's not naive; she knows a perfect moment will never come, especially in the world they're living in. So why bother? Lydia and Stiles are just going to leave, and try to save the world by finding a cure. 

She is sure that there is no room for her in any of Lydia's plans. It'd be like trying to shove a basketball inside of a bottle. She and Lydia just don't fit, Cora knows this. She has known it since the moment they first met. 

She chucks a pebble off the cliff they're walking alongside, and watches as it bounces off the rocks. Lydia and Stiles are both kind of afraid of heights, she discovers, because they're extra careful about staying as far away from the edge as possible. She'd find it funny if she wasn't concentrating so hard on trying not to look at Lydia. Or think about her, or care about what she's doing. She focuses on where she's going and how tantalizingly close she is to reaching it.

In every state in the US, there are two places where humans still reside, known as 'safe havens.' These facilities are zombie free, of course, and are usually army bases or previously abandoned warehouse stores--places that can hold a lot of people and have strong defenses. In California, there's one in Los Angeles, but neither she nor Laura know where the other one is. It doesn't really matter to her, except--

What about Lydia? What if she tries to get to her old school and finds that it's just a pile of ash and guts and is crawling with zombies? Where will she go? She's aware that Lydia doesn't want to stay in LA and that she has dreams of finding a cure. Part of Cora wants to go with her, to protect her if nothing else. 

She's not sure that part of her will ever die. 

As the sun sets, they decide to make camp. Cora sits down on a nearby hill and draws the sun setting, trying to copy the way it casts an eerie orange light over the cliffs. One of the upsides to making a 3,000 mile trip on foot is that there's plenty of time to soak in all this natural beauty. In a world that is crawling with creatures with blackened eyes and ugly, gaping maws smeared with blood, it's nice to remind herself that beauty still exists. It exists in the way the clouds look orange and pink from the light of the sun. It's in the way the crickets still chirp and the plants still grow. It exists in so many ways, and Cora is lucky to be an observer of it all. 

Isaac comes to sit by her and she smiles to herself. She can't express in words how glad she is that what happened between them--or what didn't--failed to ruin their budding friendship. 

"That's pretty," he comments, and she nods before realizing he's talking about her drawing. 

"Oh, thanks." 

"You can talk to me, you know. About anything that might be bothering you. I've been told I'm a pretty good listener," Isaac offers, and Cora drops her pencil and turns to him, one eyebrow raised.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm fine. I haven't really been sleeping much lately, that's all. I'm excited." 

"Me too. I can't wait to see Scott again." 

"Speaking of...I need you to do me a favor." 

"Sure," Isaac says easily. 

"If--if Lydia needs a place to stay, I mean, if there's no where for her to go, if you could let her stay with you in Beacon Hills, and keep her safe, I'd--I'd appreciate it. She has this plan to save the world, and that's admirable, but she really should have a plan B." 

"Don't you think she already has one? She seems like a plan B kind of girl." 

"Yeah, but...I don't know, it just--it would help me sleep better at night knowing someone I trust is looking out for her," Cora says. 

Isaac nods his head slowly, and Cora sees a flash of something in his eyes. Recognition, maybe? He gives her a knowing smile and she just smiles back, not entirely sure what is transpiring right now. 

"All right," he finally says. "I'll keep an eye out and make sure she has a safe place to go." 

"Thanks." 

Cora's able to breathe a whole lot easier now, and continues to draw the sunset. She's putting the finishing touches on the pinkish orange sky, determined to get it just right, when she hears Isaac clear his throat. 

She knows him well enough to know this is a prelude to something, something he's hesitant to say. 

"What?"

"Nothing." 

"You obviously have something on your mind, Lahey." 

"It's nothing." 

"Isaac, I swear to god--" 

"Fine. I just...I think it's interesting how much you want to protect Lydia. Since from what you told me, you guys are just starting to get along." 

"Yeah, well, our relationship is complicated," Cora shrugs.

"It doesn't have to be. If you'd tell her how you feel." 

"I don't feel anything," Cora blurts. "No feelings here." 

Isaac chuckles and Cora has the sudden urge to disappear, to sprint away until her lungs burn and her legs are sore. She so doesn't want to have this conversation. She's been just fine avoiding her feelings, because she's a pro at compartmentalizing them. 

"That was really believable," Isaac deadpans. "Seriously, I'm now totally convinced you're a sociopathic robot." 

"I'm not," Cora growls. "I just happen to know that Lydia doesn't--she can't--we won't....we'll never work out." 

"Seems to me you're assuming a lot about the inner workings of Lydia's mind," Isaac challenges, not willing to budge. Why is he her friend again? 

"I don't want to talk about this." 

"Don't want to talk about what?" A soft voice cuts in, and every cell in Cora's body stops for a moment. 

Her blood freezes as she turns to see Lydia standing a few feet behind them. The sunlight casts a beautiful glow on her hair, bringing out the color. Cora blinks and stands up quickly. Part of her wants to throw Isaac off the nearest cliff, but she's sure that would raise some questions, so she plasters on a smile and tries to lean casually against the nearest tree. God, she's a mess. 

"Nothing, I just--we were arguing about...The Hobbit. His favorite character is Gandalf and mine's Bilbo. It's been a real source of contention between us." 

"Oh," Lydia utters, her face brightening. "I didn't know you liked The Hobbit." 

"Yeah, it's one of my favorite books." 

She hears Isaac clear his throat again and turns to give him a glare. 

"Well, I was just coming to tell you that dinner is ready," Lydia says. 

"Okay, we'll be there in a sec. Thanks." 

She watches Lydia smile at her softly, a smile that subsequently turns her insides to goo before she turns to Isaac and grits her teeth. 

"Lahey, if you say one word I will set you on fire then leave your charred remains on the road so the zombies can have a nice barbecue." 

Isaac just laughs--the jerk--and holds his hands up. "Whatever you say, Cora. I'm enjoying myself enough as it is; I don't feel like interfering."

"Shut. Up." 

 

\----

 

They eat in silence and Cora feels Lydia's eyes on her the whole time she's shoveling twinkies in her mouth. They ran out of beans a week ago, but they have a hell of a lot of twinkies and hot dogs. She watches Scout chow down on some hot dogs that Laura throws her, and wishes that her life could be simpler. 

After dinner, Cora agrees to go on watch with Stiles, and sets up her sniper rifle on a nearby cliff. The lens on it is cracked, but Cora can still see through it pretty well. She sprawls out on the ground and feels the rocks jab at her stomach. Gritting her teeth, she pulls her shirt down, ignoring the feeling of discomfort. Yeah, this is a great spot. It overlooks their camp. Not that that will be much help once it gets dark, but Cora will probably be able to shoot down a few zombies before then. 

"Enjoying your new toy?" 

Cora cranes her neck and catches a glimpse of Lydia looking down at her. She nods jerkily.  
\  
"You bet I am." 

"I'm pleased. Aren't you glad we stopped by the police station two towns back?" 

She can hear the smirk in Lydia's voice. The girl loves being right almost as much as Cora does. They're both so competitive and stubborn, even--or maybe especially--when it comes to tiny things. Though this sniper is pretty sweet and Cora is ecstatic that she found it. She likes being in control, likes knowing that she can protect the people around her. 

"Yeah, I'm glad. You were right, you always are." 

"I know." Lydia smirks again, and Cora chuckles. 

"Did you come out here for a reason or just to distract me?" 

Lydia doesn't say anything for a few seconds, during which time Cora feels her cheeks heat up. She hadn't meant to say that, now Lydia's probably going to think she doesn't want to talk to her. 

"I was just wondering if something is going on between you and Isaac. You seemed to be having a pretty heated discussion earlier." 

"Oh...no, we're just--like I said, we disagree on which fictional character from the Hobbit is more--"

"Cora, please. You're a terrible liar," Lydia huffs. 

Cora sighs and stands up, her sniper rifle momentarily forgotten. "What do you want me to say?"

"The truth would be nice. I don't know, I just have the feeling that there's something you're not telling me." 

The bite in her tone is palpable, and that should be enough of a warning sign. 

It's not though, because the next words out of Cora's mouth are: 

"It's really none of your business."

She regrets it immediately, but that doesn't stop her from saying it, because she's an idiot and she just feels so much around this girl, no matter how much she insists otherwise. She's angry that everyone except Lydia sees it. She wouldn't be surprised if Laura, Stiles and Isaac are taking bets on when they'll get their shit together. They'd all be wasting their money, though, because it's never been more clear that Lydia is one of the most oblivious people on the face of the earth. Not that there are many left, but that's beside the point. The point is, she's lying through her teeth. Because this is Lydia's business, her feelings for her are huge and serious and scary as shit and they don't really concern anyone but her and Lydia. And yet she's in the dark, lost in her plans to make a better future, hoping that this world will change. Cora doesn't know how to compete with that at all.

So she lashes out, because she's a terrible human being. 

"Fine," Lydia replies, her voice cold. "You don't need to tell me anything. I thought we were friends, or getting there, at least. My mistake." 

With that, Lydia turns and leaves. Cora lays back down on the ground and wishes that it would just swallow her up. 

But that doesn't happen, because that would just be too fucking easy, now wouldn't it? 

Night watch drags on, and when Stiles joins her, he doesn't say much of anything. It's clear that he doesn't want to get involved in any drama, so he keeps the topic of discussion away from Lydia. Cora's grateful, even though not talking about her doesn't really keep her conscience off of the subject. 

She didn't mean to make more of a mess of things. The worst part is, the only person to blame here is herself. She was the one who made Lydia walk away, and so she's going to have to apologize. 

Hopefully Lydia will forgive her. 

Strange how she's hoping for so much these days, when she used to think hope was a huge lie.


	8. Chapter 8

Nevada is dry, dusty and windy as fuck. Cora hates it. She hates most things right now, because Lydia's still not talking to her. Oh, she speaks to her. They talk about how shitty the weather is, and who'll be going on watch, and how many miles they have to cross before they reach the border. California is just one state over, and if they can make it across this godforsaken state, they'll be home free.

With that comes the realization that she doesn't have much time to get Lydia to forgive her. Even though Lydia thankfully hasn't gone so far as to flat out give her the silent treatment, they don't talk like they used to. Their conversations are stilted and forced. Gone is the natural ease they once had, after their initial antagonism. It's early November before Cora realizes just how long she's known Lydia for. Ten months. It feels a lot longer than that, yet shorter at the same time. Cora knows she still has so much to learn about Lydia, and it sucks that she's freezing her out.

"Just apologize to her," Isaac tells her, over and over. What he doesn't get is that she's not sure what to apologize for. If she apologizes, then Lydia will want to know what Isaac and her were talking about the night that she interrupted them, and Cora would rather have that conversation never. She is sorry, but she knows Lydia will push her places she's not ready to go. She doesn't want to get her heart stomped on, thanks.

Something in her hungers for Lydia to just get angry with her. Angry enough to fight with her like they used to, to argue and tell her what she's really thinking, because she'd prefer anything to this pseudo-silence. This 'speaking, but not really saying anything at all' thing that Lydia is so good at. She tries to push it out of her mind and think about how close she is to LA, to finding out if her family is still there. It's sweet, that tantalizing feeling, but it's tainted now, because Cora wants Lydia to meet her family too. She wants Lydia to share in her joy.

 

She chides herself for being selfish and keeps trudging along the highway, her shades guarding her eyes from the swirling dust. 

 

\----

 

Stiles wakes her up one morning about a month after her and Lydia's falling out. It's just before sunrise and Cora sits up quickly, wondering if any zombies are nearby, before Stiles reassures her that there's no danger. He just wants to talk. Cora bites back several choice responses and just blinks groggily.

"This couldn't have waited until later?" She demands.

"No," Stiles says. "In case you haven't noticed, we're kind of running out of time."

"You make it sound so ominous. We're almost at the end of our journey, that should be a reason to celebrate."

"Yeah, it would be, except it's hard to be happy when my best friend is miserable," Stiles responds, his voice hard and brittle. Almost like it's about to crack.

Cora sighs and rubs the remaining vestiges of sleep from her eyes. She hates that Lydia is so miserable; doesn't Stiles know that? She's tried to make things better, but she doesn't know what else to do.

"I--"

"No, just...let me speak, all right? What you might not know about Lydia is that she's strong and brave, in her own way. After her parents died, she took it upon herself to learn as much about the disease as possible. She slaved for hours, consulted with several experts in the field of medicine. And even though they didn't find a cure, she never gave up hope that she might someday.

"She still has nightmares about her parents. You don't know this because she hides her pain so well, and since you guys have bonded and become friends, the nightmares have lessened. But they've started up again. I don't know why, all I know is, you're being a shitty friend and she deserves better. I told myself I wouldn't get caught up in your drama, because it's none of my business, but Lydia is in pain and I need you to fix whatever it is you broke."

By the end of Stiles' speech, a single tear is visible on his cheek. Cora wants to cry as well, but sucks in a breath and places her hands on her knees.

"I will," she promises. "You don't know how much Lydia means to me. I just don't know if she'll forgive me."

"She will. You just have to be persistent." Stiles stands up and walks away. Cora watches him and practically sees that a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. His step seems lighter and the slight slump in his shoulders that had been there for the past month is gone. He has taken off his burden and transferred all of it onto her.

Wonderful.

She bites her lip and crosses her legs, a plan slowly forming itself in her mind. Cora has never been great with planning things out; she's more of an act first, think later kind of person. It's worked up until now, until she managed to piss Lydia Martin off so much that the girl doesn't want anything to do with her.

The next night, she places her bed roll about ten feet from Lydia's, and falls asleep listening to her deep breaths. God, she even breathes sexily. About halfway through the night, she hears soft whimpers and wakes up with a start. Lydia is crying in her sleep, muttering words that Cora can't quite make out. She crawls closer, wondering if Lydia will be able to sense her presence somehow. Lydia is sweating, and she starts tossing and turning when Cora gets close. Cora wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around her, reassuring her that it's just a dream, as patronizing as that sounds.

She worries her lip between her teeth for a moment and tentatively reaches a hand out, touching Lydia's shoulder softly.

The strawberry blonde wakes up with a start, her eyes wild for a moment before they land on Cora's. For a fleeting second, she can see the warmth there, and she smiles.

Then Lydia wakes up fully, and her icy mask slams into place. She sits up and regards Cora with a barely disguised glare.

"Was there something you wanted?" She bites out.

"Um...no. It just looked like you were having a bad dream and I was...I mean, I'm sorry. I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"Well, I don't. Why are you even sleeping next to me, anyway? I thought you'd want to be closer to your boyfriend."

"My boy--what?" Cora queries, totally befuddled at this point. 

"Isaac. Laura told me that he kissed you. I hope you two are happy together."

Cora clenches her fists so tight that her nails dig into her palms. She's going to kill her sister. She is aware that she's had this thought this many times before, but this time she fucking means it.

Taking a deep breath, she fixes her gaze on Lydia. "Isaac Lahey is not my boyfriend," she says steadily.

"But he did kiss you."

"Yeah, but...I turned him down. He's not my type."

Lydia sits up fully then, appearing to be interested in this conversation for the first time since it started.

"So what is your type, then?" She asks softly.

"I don't know," Cora lies.

"That doesn't make sense. You'd have to have some idea of what your type is to know that Isaac doesn't fit into it," Lydia answers logically.

Fucking logic.

"I don't want to talk about this," Cora says, which seems to be her catchphrase these days. She stands up and moves to go back to her bedroll, but Lydia hurriedly stands up as well and closes a hand around her forearm.

"No," she says firmly. Cora can practically hear her teeth grinding. "You don't get to do this, not again. You don't get to shut me out."

" _I'm_ shutting _you_ out?" Cora asks incredulously. "You're the one who's been colder than Antarctica lately. I don't know what else to do, Lydia. Whenever I try to carry on a conversation with you, you change the subject or you just freeze me out. I've been trying. I've tried so hard, but you know what? It's not worth it, because it's like I'm speaking a different language around you."

"You still won't apologize for saying that your life is none of my business! I thought we were friends--"

"Maybe that's not all I--"

Cora gasps at herself and immediately clamps her mouth shut, cursing the fact that it seems to have a mind of its own.

"What?"

"Nothing. Forget about it. I need to get some sleep."

"Cora, don't you dare--" Lydia interrupts. Her anger is becoming more evident with each passing second.

"Damn it, Lydia, just let it go," Cora pleads. She hates that she's begging for Lydia to have some mercy on her.

"I'll let it go. Once you answer my question. What is your type? I mean, Isaac has a lot in common with you. I thought you would have liked him."

Cora flounders for a second, before her mind latches onto the latter part of Lydia's statement. Oh.

"You think about who I might like?" Cora questions. She feels like someone else is speaking for her now, as if her voice is not her own.

'Well--I...no," Lydia denies.

And Lydia says _she's_ a bad liar.

Lydia flushes, and her fingers twitch. Cora doesn't let herself believe that it means what she desperately hopes it does. Half of her is convinced that this is all a dream, a cruel trick her subconscious is playing on her. She'll wake up any second now.

But she doesn't wake up. Not when Lydia stutters out several incoherent sentences. Not when she steps closer slowly and places her hands lightly on Cora's shoulders. Cora feels Lydia's warm palms through her t-shirt and shudders slightly, and still she doesn't wake up.

"What are you doing?" Cora says, not sure why she's asking, because she's not an idiot. At least not when Lydia's as deliciously close to her as she is right now.

"I'm getting ready to kiss you," Lydia replies. "Is that okay?"

So, this isn't a dream right? This can't be a dream.

She nods slowly and studies Lydia's eyes, getting lost in the hazel orbs. Lydia steps closer, then closer still, and Cora wonders if she'll ever be able to breathe normally after this. Or if she's even breathing normally right now, which is doubtful given how tense her body feels. There's so much pressure building inside of her that Cora doesn't know how much more of it she can take.

Then Lydia's lips touch hers and then the tension inside her chest is gone, replaced with a fluttery feeling. She closes her eyes and brushes her lips against Lydia's. They're soft and warm and taste slightly of the generic lemon chapstick Lydia wears.

The thing is, this kiss isn't really dramatic. It's gentle and sweet, and it should be more intense because she's waited for so long, but Cora's mind keeps flashing back to their conversation and a thought burrows itself in her mind. The only reason Lydia's kissing her is because she's jealous of Isaac. She's jealous of the relationship that she thought Cora had with him.

Cora pushes Lydia back gently, shakes her head.

"I--I can't do this," she blurts. "I'm sorry."

Lydia doesn't say anything for a few seconds, her lips looking so kissable still. Damn. Cora nails her gaze to a tree far off in the distance before her eyes drift back to Lydia's.

"I guess I'm not your type either, then," Lydia says slowly, and then takes a deep breath and steps back.

Cora knows then that she has fucked up, knows that she just broke something beyond repair. She sucks in a breath and wonders what in the hell to say. 'Sorry' just sounds empty and meaningless. She hates that she's rejected two people now, two people who she cares about a lot. Since when did she start hurting everyone close to her?

She holds up a hand and bites her lip, determined to force some words out of her mouth. "I--I just don't want this to be because you're jealous. I want it to be real."

Lydia nods. "It was real...for me."

Cora's breath hitches. "You can't mean...no. I don't believe you."

Lydia lets out a soft giggle, humor managing to seep through even though the awkwardness of the situation is thick and palpable. Cora is amazed at how Lydia can make everything better just by laughing.

"You aren't making this very easy for me. But then, I guess I should have expected that. I--I like you. I know that it might not make sense, and I tried to talk myself out of it for a long time. I think I started liking you around the time when we were all stuck in Colorado. I couldn't escape being around you, or the feelings I had, so they were kind of hard to ignore then."

Cora takes this all in, her mind screeching to a halt at the sincerity in Lydia's words. She didn't think she'd ever be so lucky. She sways on her feet for a moment, and feels overwhelmed.

Lydia just purses her lips slightly and nods, as if she's come to a conclusion. "It's clear you're not ready, though. You still need to process."

"No, I mean, yeah this is a little--unexpected, but I can--"

"I think it's best if we take it slow. Because I want this--" she gestures between them-- "to be real, too. To be something we both know we want. Okay?"

Cora bites her lip and hesitates. Even though this is exactly what she wants, she feels fear prick at the back of her mind, until it runs down her spine and a chill shoots through her. She knows Lydia is right; it's best to wait, even if that's incredibly hard. She just wants to kiss Lydia again, to kiss her until she has no lips or breath left. Part of her just wants to forget everything else for a moment--forget about their journey and their friends. To escape reality for a while and lose herself in Lydia.

She knows that that's a fairy tale, though, which is exactly why it can't happen like that. They both want whatever is about to happen between them to be _real._

Cora never thought she and Lydia would ever want the same thing, so it's a little mind-boggling. She finally nods and takes one step forward.

"Okay, that's probably a good idea."

"Good," Lydia says, but her eyes move to Cora's lips and oh god, she wasn't aware that this would be so difficult. She can tell Lydia is struggling with the same urges she is, but that doesn't make it any fucking easier.

She steps back hurriedly and scratches the back of her neck. This is the second time tonight that she has no clue what to say.

"Um...see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah," Lydia responds, and gives her a soft smile before walking over to her cot. "Good night, Cora."

"Good night." She's only ten feet away. She feels too close, yet too far, all at the same time.

It's such a cliche but it's never been more accurate. Cora groans as she rolls over onto her side and squeezes her eyes shut.

 

\----

 

Time doesn't really help with Cora's urge to push Lydia up against the nearest surface and kiss her senseless, and she deals with her frustration by being even more rude and surly than usual. Isaac notices before everyone else, because he's gotten good at reading her and Laura has been more in her own head lately. Probably thinking of their family, Cora guesses. Thinking about whether or not they're in LA and what the first thing she'll say to them will be.

Laura has a better relationship with their parents than Cora does; she's the good daughter, the obedient one who enlisted in the military and served her country well. Cora's just a burnout artist who moved far away from them so she could follow her dreams, never really thinking how it would make them feel. She realizes now how self-involved and stubborn she used to be. She's still pretty stubborn, but she wishes that she could have known then what she knows now. No one could have predicted this disease, she knows that. But she should have just--

In the end, it's pointless to beat herself up for things she didn't do. She could have found a school near her family, in California, but she didn't. They'd moved around a lot when she was a kid, but after they settled down in Orange County, Cora still had wanderlust and wanted to see more of the world. So she moved to New York to live with her sister.

What matters is that now, she's not going to give up. She's going to fix this, and reunite with her family--if they're still alive. It's a vicious cycle, and not knowing whether they're alive or dead is starting to frustrate her immensely. She has more than one reason to be moody and depressed these days. They're so close, and yet...

What if they go to LA and the Hales are nowhere to be found? They'd have made the trip for nothing.

Well, maybe not nothing, Cora thinks, as her eyes drift over to Lydia. They're sitting around the fire and eating canned soup. Lydia is chattering with Stiles about something science-y and Cora smiles softly at how passionate she is. How her hands move wildly through the air, as she's talking about DNA and how beautiful it is. Cora wouldn't mind listening to her talk for hours, as long as she gets to see the way that Lydia's eyes practically sparkle.

She's gotten good at reading Lydia; has spent a lot of time noticing what her different expressions mean. One eyebrow raised either means she's annoyed or curious about something, or both. Two eyebrows raised means she's about to get angry. She has a soft smirk that usually denotes that she just thought of something funny, or is trying not to laugh. Cora's gotten that one a lot recently, and she doesn't know whether to be offended or what. Because even though she might know how Lydia feels, what she thinks and how she'll act are still a mystery. She couldn't have predicted what happened a few nights ago, that's for sure.

Laura quirks an eyebrow at her and Cora clears her throat, then slurps up the rest of her soup. She finishes the meal and ignores Laura's looks, but then Laura grabs her wrist and pulls her up.

"Excuse us for a sec," she tells the others, then looks at Cora and gestures for her to follow.

Cora breathes deeply and readies herself, then takes a few slow steps. Her sister is pretty observant, at least when it comes to her, and Cora knows that it's just a testament to how close they are. They can feel what the other is thinking. It's eerie but also kind of comforting.

Except now.

Cora doesn't want to hear her sister gloat about being right, so she just folds her arms and gives what she hopes is an unaffected look.

"What?" She demands.

"Don't 'what' me, Cora. I saw the way you were looking at Lydia; news flash, I have eyes. I just--I want to know why you lied to me about it before."

Cora sighs. "It wasn't--when you brought it up, I was still in denial. Now though, I think we might have a shot. But I'm still scared to talk about it, so we--I--haven't brought it up since...um..." Cora trails off, not wanting to talk about this. It's something she tries to avoid thinking about, even though that's not working out.

"Since what?"

"Nothing. It's none of your business."

"You're right, it's not. I guess I just want to tell you that if you like this girl, don't waste time. We live in a shitty world, Cora. We have to fight every day and it can be exhausting, stressful and terrifying all at once. So if by some fucking miracle you've found someone who you like and who likes you too and who can make you happy, then for the love of god, don't waste your chance just because you're scared."

Cora blinks, then looks into Laura's eyes. The pain she sees there is startling. She'd always seen her older sister as the toughest of the tough, someone who never cried or got hurt, because she was all bluster and courage. Now, though, she's seeing who she really is.

Someone who is wounded. Scarred. Jaded.

Cora swallows thickly, regretting it immediately when she feels dust in her mouth. She can't wait to get out of Nevada. She nods mutely and steps close to Laura, and before she can say anything, Cora hugs her tight.

They're not very touchy-feely, no one in her family is, really, but when they do hug, it means something. It's intense and comfortable and warm all at once, and Cora blinks back some tears as she pulls back.

"Okay," she replies, hating the fact that she can't take her sister's pain away. "You sound like you're speaking from experience."

"Maybe I am. Doesn't mean I want to talk about it. But if you need anything, you know where I am."

"Yeah," Cora says softly. "I do."

They join the others soon after, and the air between them is more relaxed. Cora is still reeling from the realization is actually human and not the superhero she thought Laura was when they were younger.

Actually, she's even more heroic now, Cora muses. She hurts just like everyone else, and bleeds from the scars of her past, but she takes that pain and uses it. She never stops hoping, never stops fighting. Cora knows now why they've survived as long as they have.

She feels her heart swell with admiration and then retreats to her bag. She pulls out her drawing pad and draws. When she's done, Laura is looking back up at her, carrying a sword and wearing armor.

When Cora shows her the drawing, Laura just smirks and nudges her softly, mumbling "Dork" under her breath.

Cora just smiles and sticks her pencil back in her bag.

 

\----

 

Say what you want about Nevada (and trust her, Cora has plenty to say) but it's hard to complain when evening falls. The wide open sky appears to take on new life when the sun sets, and the stars seem so big and sparkling. Cora wishes she could see better so she could capture the image on paper. She lights a torch she made out of a bunch of branches, but promptly puts it out when Laura balks at her, saying that the light will bring the zombies in droves.

That's another tough thing about Nevada. The zombies are fucking everywhere, and they've had to be on constant guard. Scout is able to smell them, which is really convenient. She pricks her ears and starts growling lowly whenever a zombie is near. Dobermans are true protectors, and Scout is no exception.

One day in mid-November, she and Isaac go on ahead with Scout to see if there are any places zombies might hide. The cliffs and rocks provide pretty good hideouts for them, and their party of five would definitely catch the zombies' eyes. Their cold, dead, creepy eyes. Cora shudders as she walks next to Isaac.

As a pair, she and Isaac don't attract much attention, and they're able to sneak behind some of the cliffs and take out quite a few zombies. They go in, guns raised, and fire at will. Now is not the time for Cora to be a pacifist, but sometimes she wishes she didn't have to do this. She knows that she kills only in self-defense, but...it can be hard to end a life, even if one could argue that the zombified state isn't really living. She wipes some black blood off of her forehead and winces, then turns to Isaac. He's looking at her with concern.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go back to the others."

Isaac just nods and follows her, though she can tell he's not going to let it go.

They make it about a mile before Isaac asks another question.

"So...how are things?" 

Cora rolls her eyes. "Fine, great. There's nothing like fighting a bunch of ugly undead monsters. It really brightens my day."

"If it's any consolation, you kicked ass."

Cora lets out a bark of laughter. "Thanks."

"And I guess I should be more specific. How are things going with Lydia?"

Cora shrugs, too exhausted to deflect his question. "Okay. We--we kissed, and then I kind of freaked out, and so she told me to take time to figure out what it is I really want. She told me that she has wanted me for a long time. That last part is something I'm still trying to wrap my head around."

"I don't know why it's so hard for you to believe that people could fall for you, Cora," Isaac says in a chiding tone. He bends down to pet Scout and feeds her a slice of bologna.

Cora freezes momentarily, wondering if it's hard for Isaac to talk about this with her, since he used to have a crush on her and all. She doesn't really have anyone else she wants to talk about this with, though. She'll tell Laura, of course, but she's not ready for the gloating that's sure to happen when she does.

"Because I'm...me. I'm stubborn, I have a short fuse, I'm opinionated, loud and obnoxious and I don't really...I'm not a romantic person. Lydia deserves someone who'll sweep her off her feet and do all that over-the-top mushy crap."

Isaac stays silent for a few moments. It's a comfortable silence, even though Cora is still wondering why she's spilling her guts out like this. It's so unlike her.

"You're also one of the bravest people I know," Isaac finally pipes up. "You're loyal and strong and a good fighter. You're an amazing artist and you're passionate. Lydia must see that, or she wouldn't have kissed you."

Cora shrugs. "She's probably over me already."

"Somehow I doubt that. You're kind of hard to get over."

Cora sucks in a breath. "Shit. Isaac, I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about this, I'll shut up now. I--god, I really suck."

Isaac chuckles and slings an arm around her. "Relax. I'm working on it. I know you don't feel the same, but you'll always be my friend, no matter what. Okay?"

A grin slowly creeps onto Cora's face. "Okay."

"Now...back to Lydia..."

Cora groans and stomps ahead of him, even though she knows that is futile. His freakishly long legs enable him to catch up to her in no time, and so she spends the rest of the way back listening to him talk about how she should just go for it with Lydia already.

The thing is, even though Isaac inflates her ego quite a bit with his praise, she's still terrified that she feels more for Lydia than Lydia does for her. And so she waits, the days passing by in a blur. What she's waiting for, she's not exactly sure. All she knows is, she doesn't want to admit to the depth of her feelings, only to reach California and lose Lydia forever.

Talk about depressing.


	9. Chapter 9

"It's fine, Cora, really," Lydia insists, all the while wincing and clutching at her side. There's blood seeping through, coating her fingers with red, and it's all Cora can do not to punch something. 

"The hell it is! Do you see how much blood there is?" Cora almost yells, and points at the girl's stomach. 

They were walking alongside a steep cliff when Lydia lost her footing and fell. It wasn't a deep fall, thank fuck, but when Cora reached her, her breath caught at the deep scar visible through her shirt. The others are a little ways behind them; Lydia and Cora decided to go on ahead to clear the way for them. 

Cora doesn't know much about medicine or doctoring, but she's pretty sure that you're supposed to keep pressure on wounds. Lydia's already doing that, which is good. 

"Just let me take a look at it." 

"No." 

"Do you want to die out here?" 

"Letting you look at it isn't going to magically heal it, Cora. Let's just--wait for the others." 

Lydia winces again, her breath coming out in ragged pants. If Lydia seriously thinks Cora is going to just let her bleed out on the ground, then she doesn't know her at all. Even though she's freaking out, she grits her teeth and moves closer to Lydia. 

Cora shakes her head. "They might be too late. Just...please, Lydia," she begs. "Let me take a look." 

Lydia slowly nods, losing whatever battle she's fighting with herself. She lifts up her shirt slowly, and that's when Cora sees them.

Three bite scars are spread across her stomach. One on her upper abdomen, just above her ribs, the other two lower and on each side. Cora sees red and before she's even aware of what she's doing, she has her gun out. Zombie. Lydia's a freaking zombie. She could have--she's probably planning on eating them all.

"What. The. Fuck." Cora growls. "What are those? Those are zombie bites, right? You got bitten and you never told me?"

With considerable effort, Lydia stands up and holds her hands out. "I did get bitten. You're right. But I'm not a zombie. The disease acts quickly, you know that. So please, put your gun down." 

Her tone is far too patronizing and placating for Cora's liking. "What if you're--like, a new breed of zombie? A more evolved one? Maybe you're just trying to trick me so you can gain my trust." 

As the words tumble out of her mouth, Cora knows they sound pretty far-fetched. But she just found out the girl she's known for almost a year got bitten and never told anyone. She trusted her, and this is what she gets in return. Psych, I'm a zombie! No wonder Cora hates surprises.

Lydia sighs. "What do you want me to say? If I was a zombie, I'd have eaten you by now. There's no record of any zombies that can function like I can. My brain is still intact, and I've tested my own blood. I'm not infected." 

She can't handle the way Lydia's looking at her. She can't fucking handle any of this. Her gun slowly starts to lower, and then Stiles, Laura and Isaac show up. Great. 

"What the fuck?" Stiles demands, rushing towards her. "Hale, why is your gun pointed at my friend?" 

Cora glares at him and quickly lowers her gun. "Lydia's been bitten and she never told any of us." 

Stiles sighs. "Oh. I was wondering when you would find out."

"You knew?!"

"Yeah. It happened in New York, when we were staying in an abandoned warehouse. She went out one night to get some supplies, and when she came back, she was shaking. She...she showed me her bites and started crying. I said I wouldn't leave her, and I agreed to do what needed to be done if she--if she turned. We waited three days, which is usually the longest it takes for the disease to invade the host's body. But nothing happened. So...we concluded that Lydia's immune." 

During Stiles' speech, Laura pulls Lydia back into a sitting postion and starts bandaging her wound, using an old t-shirt of hers. She wraps the wound tight and duct tapes it so it stays in place. Laura pats it gently and talks softly, bending her head close to Lydia's. Laura doesn't look at her, but Cora knows what she's thinking. She'll probably get one hell of a verbal lashing later. 

Cora's anger subsides a little, replaced with overwhelming guilt. "Oh. I'm...I'm sorry. I saw the bite scars and I just--" 

"I know," Lydia speaks up. "I guess I know now how much you trust me. Since the first thing you did was grab a gun." 

Nothing could have hurt Cora more than those words. They stab her like a million knives, sharp and piercing. She steps back, feeling ashamed of herself. This is why she and Lydia will never work. Because she is too quick to judge, and to act without thinking. She's hotheaded and quick-tempered when she should be understanding and patient. She holsters her gun as Laura catches her eye. Sure enough, she looks pissed as hell. Fuck. 

Cora has definitely had better days. 

Isaac is the only one who doesn't show any anger towards her, which is more than Cora can say for herself. She's furious with how she acted towards Lydia and she's not sure she can fix it this time. Maybe her luck has finally run out. 

Lydia and Stiles walk ahead in silence, and Laura just gives her another glare before shouldering her pack and turning to follow them. Scout whimpers softly and licks Cora's hand, as if she knows how Cora feels. Isaac just tilts his head and starts walking, and Cora walks beside him, grateful that she's not totally alone, even if that's what she deserves. 

 

\----

 

It's two weeks later and Lydia is barely talking to her. Her wound has healed--at least, the visible one has. Cora knows she hurt Lydia deeper than she ever has before, and that her distrust cut deeper than any snippy remark or insult she could make. Lydia's replies, if she deigns to talk to Cora at all, are monosyllabic and cold, so much like how it was before their kiss. The kiss that seems like ancient history now. It becomes clear to Cora that she won't be able to fix this, not unless Lydia is willing to forgive her for her epic failure to act like a decent human being. She can't believe that she'd pointed a gun at the one person who is able to connect with her, tear down all her walls and see her for who she really is. She wants to blame it on the shock of the situation, but in the end, it was Cora who made the choice to throw away all their progress. Lydia is right; Cora hadn't trusted her enough and Lydia had done nothing to deserve that. It's obvious to her now why Lydia kept her scars a secret, given how Cora acted when she found out. 

She tries talking to Stiles about it, which is a testament to how desperate she is. 

"She's still pissed at you," he supplies helpfully. 

"Duh," she growls. "I want to know how to remedy that." 

"Beats me. I've never pointed a gun at her so I've never had to ask her forgiveness for something like that." 

This isn't helping. Cora smiles tightly at him, all the while wanting to throttle his neck. "Thanks, Stiles," she deadpans. "I--listen, I know I was an idiot, but she won't even let me apologize. I've tried, but she ignores me." 

"Just keep trying," Stiles says finally, taking pity on her. 

And so she does. Every day, she makes a point to apologize to Lydia. It doesn't seem to do much good. Lydia ignores her, or barely acknowledges her presence with a brief nod. 

It's not until the third week of December that Cora sees progress. 

"I'm sorry for pointing a gun at you," she says, at around noon. Cora's expecting Lydia to just keep walking, keeping her eyes on the road, but instead, the other girl turns to her, and pins her with an intense stare that leaves her motionless. 

Then she gives her a brief smile, and Cora's world is right again. 

"I guess I can forgive you," Lydia concedes, sounding extremely put-upon. There's a glint in her eye that suggests she's enjoying this a little too much. 

"That's all I want." 

"Really? That's all?" 

Cora feels stuck for a moment, not knowing what the hell to say to that. 

"Um...yeah. For now." 

Fuck, did she really just say that? There's no way Lydia still--

"Okay. I'm not going anywhere." 

Cora knows that's not entirely true, though. They're only weeks away from California now. They'll go their separate ways, and as much as Cora wants to ignore the feeling of impending loss, she can't. She'll stay in LA while Lydia tries to find a vaccine. 

Though, with the antibodies that are in her blood, Lydia says she has a pretty good shot at succeeding. Cora understands why Lydia is so determined, and she admires her perseverance. She just wishes that she could go with her, and keep her safe. She's not sure what Lydia would say if she asked, though. She'd probably express some indignation at being treated like a defenseless child, and then she'd freeze Cora out again. So...no. Cora will just enjoy these last weeks with her. She has never been good at making plans for the future anyway. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" 

Cora jumps slightly and turns to Lydia, who has one eyebrow quirked. She's curious, then. 'Of course she is, Cora, she just asked what you were thinking. Focus.'

"Um, just thinking about California. I'm really anxious to see what it's like. I haven't been there since before the outbreak." 

"Me neither. The mountains are really beautiful, from what I remember." 

"I know! We should go hiking sometime," Cora blurts without thinking. 

Lydia studies her for a moment, and Cora feels like she's being looked at through a microscope. Honestly though, that's how she usually feels around Lydia. Like she can't hide anything. 

"We should. Maybe we can meet up sometime, after...I mean, if you find your family and I'm not too busy trying to save the world," Lydia smirks. 

Okay. So now they're talking about it. They're finally actually communicating about what is going to happen once they reach California. Cora doesn't let her relief show, but a smile creeps onto her face. 

"I'd like that a lot. Maybe you can come with us to the safe haven in LA first? I'd--I'd love for you to meet my family." 

"Okay," Lydia says. "Why didn't you ask me sooner?" 

"Because I suck at communicating." 

"I think we both do. At least when it comes to talking to each other." 

Cora couldn't agree more. "Yeah. But about us seeing each other, I think it's a great idea. In fact, if you wanted me to come with you to--" 

"How are my two favorite girls doing?" Laura queries, stepping between her and Lydia and slinging an arm around both of them. "Did you kiss and make up?" 

Cora grits her teeth and digs her elbow into Laura's side. She gives a small groan of pain, but then retaliates by digging her nails into Cora's shoulder. Ouch. She'd forgotten how long her sister's nails were.

"We--we did," Lydia says. "Not the kissing part, but...yes." 

Cora's eyes fly to Lydia, and she forgets about everything else. She's blushing. Oh god, Lydia is actually blushing because of something her idiot sister said. About her. About Lydia and her kissing. God, she doesn't know whether to whoop in glee or die of embarrassment. 

She settles for giving her sister a death glare which has no effect. Laura just grins at her and winks. Then, she leans close to Cora's ear and whispers "You're welcome," before coming up with an excuse to leave them alone. Something about taking Scout for a walk, even though the dog hates leashes and she's perfectly capable of finding a place to pee all on her own. 

Cora narrows her eyes at Laura's retreating form. Laser eyes would come in handy right about now. 

"So..." Lydia clears her throat. "She knows about us, then." 

"Yeah. I mean, she deduced. I didn't tell her flat out, but she's my sister, which means she can pretty much read my mind. It's annoying." Sighing, she flicks at a grasshopper that lands on her pants.

"I wouldn't know," Lydia divulges. There's a yearning quality to her voice. "I'm an only child." 

"Wanna switch problems?"

"Sure," Lydia giggles. "I'm not sure I could pull off your personality, though. I'd probably get a permanent line on my forehead from frowning all the time."

"Hey!" Is Cora's witty rejoinder. 

Lydia just laughs more and grips at Cora's shoulder, and then she steps closer and time stops in its tracks. Cora's mind goes dizzyingly blank, and all she can see is Lydia's face. Her eyes and nose are closer, and then they're kissing, and it's perfect and spontaneous and beautiful. Cora clutches at Lydia's shoulders and turns to her fully, then closes her eyes. She wants to feel as much as she can, and catalog it in her memory, in case she never gets the chance to kiss Lydia like this again. She opens her mouth softly when Lydia's tongue traces her lips. 

Their lips are dusty and their tongues meet clumsily at first, but they develop a rhythm. Lydia gives a soft whine that starts from the back of her throat, and Cora feels the vibration. Arousal shoots straight between her legs and it becomes clear that if they don't stop now, they'll never be able to. 

This realization seems to dawn on Lydia at the same time, because she firmly steps back. Her eyes are dark, filled with desire, and it takes every ounce of Cora's willpower to not step back in for a kiss. 

"Damn," Lydia says. "How--I--I hadn't meant to go that fast. I was just planning on giving you a kiss on the cheek." 

"Whoops," Cora says unapologetically. 

"Not that I regret it, of course. But it would probably be..." Lydia licks her lips and her eyes flicker down to Cora's, who smirks and shuffles the slightest bit closer. "It would be best," she starts again, stepping back, "If we didn't do that again. At least until--until we're--in California. We can't afford to be distracted out here. Zombies could come..." 

"While we're trying to come?" Cora smirks. 

Lydia smacks her on the elbow. "You know what I mean. We can't afford to let our guard down."

"Okay. That's a very logical argument." 

"Glad you agree." 

"Yeah, I mean, we're almost to California. I've waited this long, I can wait a few more weeks." 

Lydia smiles at her and takes her hand in hers. Her hand is soft and warm, and Cora interlocks their fingers, amazed at how safe she feels. Lydia looks so perfect. Her hair is shiny and hangs down in perfectly tame strands, and she smells amazing. She has no clue how Lydia pulls that off. Cora hasn't looked in a mirror lately and she doesn't really want to, if she's being honest. 

They walk hand in hand for a few miles, and the others see them. Isaac and Laura have the same reaction--broad smiles and knowing looks, while Stiles widens his eyes for a moment before just muttering, "I knew it."

Cora's just glad there's no confusion. Though she's still bracing herself for years of gloating from Laura. 

 

\----

 

The gloating doesn't happen, surprisingly. Laura does smirk at her a lot, but it appears that Laura just has other things on her mind. Instead, she hugs her and tells her that she's glad she was brave enough to go after what she wanted. This pricks at Cora, because she isn't ready for that reaction. 

"Uh...thanks. Honestly, though, Lydia's the brave one. I'm just glad she forgave me for holding her at gunpoint."

"Yeah, that was pretty dumb of you."

"I know, believe me. I know. And I'm not sure if we're together, or exclusive or whatever. We're trying to take things slow until we get to California." 

"Oh yeah? And how's that working for you?" 

Before Cora can answer, she hears some guttural noises to behind her, and whirls. Three undead are headed straight for them. She calmly flicks out her knife, while Laura pulls out her sword. They stand back to back and get ready for the light workout. 

"It's been kind of frustrating," Cora admits, as she slits one of the zombies' throats. "But I'm working on it." 

"That's good to hear. Wouldn't want you to lose your touch. Getting distracted could...you know. Kill you, and I'd rather not mourn your death because you couldn't keep it in your pants." 

The last zombie falls, courtesy of Laura's katana, and Cora takes a deep breath. She pulls out her water bottle and drains half of it before shouldering her duffel bag again. Her back is sore from having to carry it for so long. She wonders what it will feel like when she gets to California and she won't have to lug the thing around. It'll take some adjusting. 

"You're just jealous." 

"Trust me, I'm not. Lydia's not really my type." 

Cora rolls her eyes. "You know what I mean. I know you said all that crap about taking a chance. Ever consider taking your own advice?" 

"The only person I ever took a chance on left me back in New York." 

Laura doesn't usually share things about her personal life, so this is completely new territory for Cora. She had no clue her sister had been in love with someone. She has been single as far back as Cora can remember. 

Her sister continues before she can ask. "She was a military buddy of mine. Kate Argent. She was in the same rank as me and taught me a lot. When I served my last tour, I asked her to move in with me, but she didn't want to leave the army just yet. So I--I just got an apartment and that's about the time you showed up. Saved me from paying the rent all by myself." Laura looks off into the distance for a moment, then sheathes her sword. Cora wonders if Kate gave it to her. That would explain why she's so attached to it. Her sister is an enigma to most people, but the sister mind-reading ability works both ways.

Cora knows that Laura's trying valiantly to mask her pain, but it's as clear as day. 

She also knows that Laura's the type who falls hard, so it will take her a long time to get over Kate. If she ever does. 

It sucks, because the idea that Laura isn't invincible is one her mind is still working through. 

"I'm sorry. I had no idea--" 

"Well, I don't really like to talk about my army days. Still dealing with a lot of PTSD." 

"Right," Cora nods. "I know." 

Her eyes land on Lydia, who walking on the road ahead of them with Stiles and Isaac. She looks so happy and at peace, and Cora feels amazed that part of that is due to her. She's never been anyone's source of happiness before, so it is a ittle daunting. And she just hopes she doesn't fuck it up, and leave Lydia as heartbroken as Laura is. 

She won't fuck it up. Not this time. 

 

\----

 

"I was going to give you the 'If you hurt my best friend I'll bury you and no one will ever find the body speech,' but seeing as I only weigh 140 pounds and you could easily take me, I don't see that really serving any purpose." 

They're eating hot dogs late at night, sitting by a small fire. They're only about 30 miles from the California border, so it's about a three day walk, if they keep going at the same pace. Cora is beside herself with excitement, and she can hardly think of anything else. But she puts aside her buzzing thoughts long enough to hear Stiles' statement. 

Isaac shifts closer to her, and she leans on him slightly before answering. 

"Uh, yeah, I'm not really intimidated. But don't worry, I won't hurt Lydia." 

"You better not," Lydia pipes up from the other side of the fire. Cora catches her grin in the light of the fire and grins back. 

"Geez, you two are so cute. Makes me want to puke," Isaac teases. 

The awkwardness of his crush from two months back is completely gone, and Cora is incredibly grateful. The air is thick with happiness and excitement, because the gratification of being so close to the end of their journey is finally dawning on all of them. 

Laura scarfs down a hot dog before adding her two cents. "I totally called it."

They're almost home. Cora can put up with Laura for that long without killing her, right? 

Lydia giggles softly, and then throws a piece of a hot dog at Laura's head. It lands in her hair, then tumbles down. Cora gives Lydia a thumbs up. 

"I'd totally get you back, but I don't want to waste this food. And I like you, so I'll forgive you just this once," Laura remarks, her head cocked in Lydia's direction.


	10. Chapter 10

California is so beautiful, more so because of the knowledge that her family might be here. Cora's very skin seems to buzz with anticipation. It takes a couple of days for her to believe that she actually made it, and that she's here, alive and well. When they hit the border, Laura says it'll probably take then ten or more days to reach LA. Isaac agrees to go with them, even though Cora can tell that he is itching to go to Beacon Hills. But, since none of them are entirely sure where it is, Isaac reasons that it's best to ask around before he goes off by himself. 

They walk for longer periods of time, only stopping to sleep about six hours a day. Cora feels Lydia's excitement, but she senses something else too. She realizes that it's nerves five days after they cross the border. She catches Lydia worrying her lip between her teeth and staring off into space, which she has come to learn means that she's scared, nervous or worried about something. 

"Hey," Cora says softly, wrapping a hand around Lydia's wrist. "Don't be nervous. My family is going to love you." 

"You think so?" Lydia looks at her shyly, and Cora has never seen her look so unsure of herself. 

"Yes, of course. Stop worrying. You're going to give me hives. Because you'll be jumpy, and then I'll be jumpy and--yeah, it won't be pretty." 

"And what if--" Lydia trails off. 

Cora knows what she's trying to say.

"If they're not there, then I'll ask around. See if anyone knows where they went," Cora says decisively. "I--I can't give up on them."

"Wow," Lydia says softly. "You really have changed." 

"Yeah, I guess I have. Part of me feels it, like, feels that Derek would just be there waiting, hoping that I got his text, and that I remembered. That text--it's what has been keeping me going this past year. That, and Laura....and you," Cora adds, feeling the blush warm her cheeks. 

Stiles makes a gagging noise behind them, and Cora flips him off. She's pretty sure their relationship will always be slightly antagonistic; that's just the way it is. If someone held her at gunpoint, she'd probably admit that she doesn't find him totally intolerable, that she might even like him.

Cora feels guilt needle at her because of where her train of thought has gone. She hasn't forgiven herself completely for acting so rashly and thinking that Lydia was actually a zombie. Those bite scars were reminders of the trauma Lydia had undergone, and Cora just expounded it by jumping to the wrong conclusion. One thing is for sure; she's never going to make Lydia feel ugly or unwanted or monstrous again. She's going to be better, for her. Most of the time, she feels like she just slogs through, barely making an effort to be nice, because there's no point. She could try a little harder, but considering that she spends most of her energy killing and trying not to feel bad about it because technically they're monsters and it's in self defense, she doesn't have any left over for caring.

But Lydia--Lydia crashes through all of her defenses. She is able to see the good in Cora; something Cora didn't even know was there. Behind all of her bravado, she is a vulnerable kid still trying to prove herself, even though the years have hardened her. Lydia sees that and she understands that it's not easy. That nothing is. But somehow they make things work. 

They make sure that their relationship moves at a glacial pace, even thought it's a Herculean task. They only kiss a handful of times, because Cora is sure that if they kiss regularly they'll end up ripping their clothes off and having sex in the middle of the road. And knowing their luck, zombies would come just as one of them is reaching their climax. 

This abstinence leaves both of them sexually frustrated, which in turn makes them want to get to California faster. It's a double-edged sword. 

Finally, fucking finally, they reach LA and spend the better part of a day looking for the safe haven. They search all the big buildings, and places that could hold 100 or more people. They go through at least twenty different facilities: shopping malls, warehouses stores, abandoned office buildings, before they reach a military base. Laura remembers being stationed there from her military days, and before Cora can stop her, she walks confidently up to the gate. 

Cora, Lydia, Isaac and Stiles all follow her, waiting with a collective baited breath. Laura tries the door, which is locked. They all jump slightly when they hear a voice, and look up to see a small speaker. 

"Who's there?" The scratchy voice says. 

"Laura," her sister says. "Laura Hale. I'm looking for my family." 

"Okay," the voice replies. The lock on the door clicks, and Cora smiles. 

Laura opens the door and sucks in a deep breath. Cora knows it's because her excitement is hard to contain. She knows the feeling--she feels like she's about to explode. What the hell is she going to say to her family? What if they're not even here? She'd be working herself up for nothing. Calm down, Cora. 

She feels Lydia's hand on her shoulder, feels it slide down to her back and rub softly at her right shoulder blade. Lydia is her anchor. For the longest time, Cora had to be her own anchor, and she's still getting used to asking Lydia for help. 

Sometimes it's nice to not have to ask. 

"So," Laura says. "I guess we should see who runs this place, and if they know if Derek or Mom, Dad and Peter are here." 

"Sounds like a plan," Isaac agrees. 

Just as he finishes speaking, a new voice greets them, and Cora turns to see an older man making his way towards them. 

"Hello. My name's Chris. I'm one of the caretakers of this place. You look tired. Where are you from?" 

"New York," Laura says. She stares at Chris for a beat, and Cora frowns, not sure what's going on. "We walked here." 

"Damn. No wonder you're exhausted. Who are you looking for?" 

"The Hales," Cora cuts in. "We're looking for our family. So, is there like a main room to this place or do we have to look through every room?" 

"Hales--Hales... Oh. Yeah, there are some Hales here." 

"Really?" It takes all of Cora's willpower not to start jumping up and down. She's going to piss herself, she knows it. Lydia's hand is still on her back. Cora wonders if she can feel the goosebumps sprouting on her skin. 

"Oh my god," Laura exclaims. "Uh..take us to them, please." 

"Sure," Chris says. "Follow me."  
  
They walk through a maze of hallways, past padded cells and open rooms, until they reach a room that Cora guesses is the cafeteria. It's wide and large and looks like it could seat at least three hundred people. Cora sits down at a table and twiddles her thumbs. 

"Wait right here, I'll go see if the Hales are in their quarters." Chris leaves and comes back five agonizing, soul-wrenching minutes later. 

Derek is behind him, along with Peter, her mom and some girl Cora's never seen in her life. 

She's going to faint. 

"Oh my god," she exclaims, over and over until she's sure everyone around her is annoyed. But it doesn't matter, because Derek is hugging her, whispering "I missed you so much" in her hair. A tear falls before she can stop it, and then she's sobbing into his shirt, clutching onto him. She hasn't seen her brother in three years. It's been almost five since she's seen her mom. 

She still looks just as beautiful as she ever did. Cora hugs her tight for a minute, maybe longer, before moving onto Peter. Then, her eyes trail to the girl who's standing next to him. She fidgets, and Cora can sense that she feels like an outsider.  
  
"This is my daughter, Malia," Peter introduces. "I met her a couple of months before the contagion hit."

"Hi," Malia says, and sticks out her hand. Cora rolls her eyes. 

"We can hug," she says. "I don't bite." 

She hears the others chuckle behind her and gives them all a smirk. Her eyes fall on Lydia for a moment, and there's tears in her eyes too. She turns back slowly and opens her arms. Malia steps into them. She wraps her arms around her cousin and breathes. She's finally home. With her family. They're here. 

Someone's missing, though. 

"Where's Dad?" 

This from Laura, who is scanning the room. 

Derek's face visibly falls. Considering how he usually has one expression, this is saying something. 

"He--he got bitten. He turned before any of us could do anything," Derek explains. 

"When?" 

"About two years ago. Just after Christmas." 

"Fuck," Laura breathes, a tear falling down her cheek. "Fuck." 

Cora sits down, overcome with emotion. The exhaustion hits her like a two ton truck, and she leans back in her chair. Stiles, of all people, sits next to her and pats her shoulder awkwardly. 

"I'm sorry," he says. 

It's then that Derek's eyes land on the others, and general introductions are made. Cora's too drained to pay much attention, and she's grappling with the reality that her father is dead. It's all too tempting to drown in her grief, but Derek's voice pulls her back. 

"So...you must be hungry." 

 

\----

 

After they all eat their fill, Derek and Malia show Cora where she'll be sleeping. It's a grey cell with two sets of bunks. One top and bottom each. 

"Well, at least the decor's nice," she comments dryly. "Who will I be sharing with?" 

"Me, Laura and Kate," Malia answers. 

"Okay," Cora says, feeling a little dismay at not being able to share with Lydia. Then a realization hits her. "Wait...Kate?" 

"Yeah," Derek answers slowly. "Do you know her?"

Cora ignores his question. "Is her last name Argent by any chance?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh shit. I have to find Laura."

Cora rushes out of the room and down the hallway, ignoring Derek shouting her name. Normally, she wouldn't meddle in Laura's life, but she has a feeling that Laura would want to know that her ex is staying in this place. So she can avoid her, or make up, or whatever. She's not sure what Laura will do with this information. She scrambles through the halls, asking around, and finally finds Laura in one of the rec rooms. She and Isaac are playing foozball. 

She comes to stand next to Laura and leans into her. "So there's something you should know...Kate Argent is here." 

Laura spins one of the handles way too hard, and almost breaks it. The balls goes flying, and Scout runs after it. 

"What?" 

"I'm serious, she's rooming with us. I don't think she knows you're here." 

"Fuck. I fucking knew Chris looked familiar." Laura slams her hand against the foozball table before continuing. "I'll swap rooms with Lydia. There's no way I'm staying in the same room as her. I don't want her to know I'm here--"

"I'm afraid it's too late," a new voice cuts in. Cora turns to see a (incredibly attractive) blonde standing in the doorway. She blinks a few times before realizing that this must be Kate. Damn, her sister has good taste. 

The woman speaks again when she's close enough that Cora can see the slightly mischievous twinkle in her eye. "My brother said some new people arrived, one of them being a Laura Hale. I had to come see for myself." 

"Yeah, well. You've seen. Now you can leave," Laura snaps. 

Cora distinctly feels like she's intruding, so she steps back and makes to leave the room, but her sister stops her. 

"Cora, I think you should stay. So you can hold me back if I get the sudden urge to pummel Kate's face in." 

Cora turns back. "Laura, I don't want to get involved in your drama." 

"Is this your sister?" Kate smirks at her, and Cora would find it easier to hate her if she wasn't so polite. "I like her." 

"Kate, why the fuck are you here? You're not going to get a heartfelt reunion from me, so just save your platitudes. I am not in the mood." Laura turns back to the foozball table, but Isaac is leaning against the far wall, petting Scout and making it clear that he doesn't want to intervene. 

"I'm sorry," Kate says. "But what happened between us was years ago." 

Cora has the urge to sit back on a couch and pop some pop corn. She feels guilty even for thinking this, because Laura's pain shouldn't be a source of entertainment for her. Still, it's interesting to see this side of her, the side she hardly ever reveals to anyone. Kate is the woman who wounded her, who left her broken. Cora wants to hate her guts. She tries to, so hard, but something about Kate makes Cora want to hear her side of the story.

"It still hurts. I loved you, Kate. But you didn't tell anyone about us. The only fucking reason your brother was familiar to me is because I saw his face in one of photos you carried when we served together. You kept me a secret because you were ashamed. Don't you get how much that crushed me?" 

Kate walks closer to her sister, and Cora tenses, wondering if she'll have to hold Laura back. 

"I know. I was scared, scared of what my family would think. It is no excuse, it never will be." 

"So, what, you want my forgiveness? Fuck you." 

Kate flinches, then takes a breath. "No. I don't want your forgiveness. Not until you're ready to give it. I just want you to know how sorry I am. Leaving you to serve another year in the army was one of the hardest things I've ever done." Kate gives Laura one last look, then turns to walk out of the room. 

Laura exhales and leans against the table, then hits it again, hard. Hard enough so the wood splinters a little. Damn. 

"Remind me never to get on your bad side," Isaac comments. 

"Yeah, whatever. I'm over it," Laura shrugs. 

It's a lie and they all know it. 

Isaac and Laura keep playing foozball, and Cora pets Scout and plays fetch with her for a while before getting up to go find Lydia. 

 

\----

 

"Wow," is all Lydia says, after Cora is done recounting what happened in the rec room. She sits on her bed and chews at one of her nails. "You Hale women sure know how to hold grudges." 

"Uh, excuse me. 'We Hale women?' I don't think you can really make that assumption, since you don't know all of us well enough. You just met my mom and Malia yesterday." 

"Yes, well. It wouldn't surprise me if they're the same way." Lydia leans back against the wall, her legs hanging over the side. 

They're sitting on the top bunk, and Lydia has a CD player that she received when she entered the safe haven. They're listening to an Alanis Morissette CD. It's nice, all the luxuries that they have access to now. Running water. A library (Lydia flipped her shit--Cora wouldn't be surprised if Lydia just decides to camp out in there) A stove. Electricity. Cars. 

Though, honestly, Cora would be fine if the safe haven didn't have any of these things. Because she has her family, her friends and Lydia. 

Isaac is going to leave for Beacon Hills in the morning. That's where the other safe haven is, she finds out. Chris is going to drive him in one of the cars that they use specifically for transporting people from one safe haven to the other. Isaac also has a phone, which he'll be able to charge, so he and Cora can still keep up contact. 

Cora's going to miss him a hell of a lot. He's so understanding and sweet and he puts up with her crap. She can count the number of people who are able to do that on one hand. Not counting her family, because they kind of have no choice. 

Lydia and Stiles are going to the UCSB campus the day after tomorrow. Cora is still trying to talk Lydia into letting her come with them. So far, her only argument has been that she'll be able to protect them, and she knows that Lydia isn't very receptive to that particular tactic. Since she keeps saying she's perfectly capable of defending herself. 

And she is. Cora doesn't doubt that; she's seen her in action many times and it still amazes her how graceful and flexible she looks while she's fighting. But Cora just wants to be with her. Wants to see her brilliant mind work. Wants to see her in her natural habitat. She knows she wouldn't be much help with the whole science side of things. Lydia's the biology major, not her. 

"I know what you're thinking," Lydia speaks up. "You're trying to think of a way to convince me to let you come with us."

"Guilty." 

"Look, it's not that I don't want you there. But Mr. Argent said that the place might be covered with zombies. I just want to keep you safe. You should stay here." 

Cora frowns. "What the hell, Lydia? Have we just met? You know I'm not going to let you walk into a campus crawling with zombies--" 

"Stiles will be with me." 

"Yeah, I know. And that reassures me somewhat," Cora says honestly, surprising even herself. "But I--I just want to be with you." 

"Nice try." 

"I mean it," Cora insists. "We should take advantage of all the time we have." 

Lydia sighs. "Fine. You can come. But if you try to play the hero or throw yourself into a zombie horde just to save my life, then we are so breaking up." 

Cora smirks, before the weight of the words sink in on her. 

Oh. 

Okay.

"So...we're dating?" Cora queries. 

"Yes. If you--I mean, we can't do all the normal date things, but if this place had a movie theater, I'd totally take you," Lydia smirks. 

"I'm okay with not doing the cliche crap. As long as we get to kiss and stuff." 

"Oh, of course. That's a given," Lydia nods, before leaning in to place her lips on Cora's.

 

 

\----

 

 

Isaac hugs her tightly, his arms wrapped around her slightly smaller frame. He's grown in the four months she's known him. He's gotten slightly more muscular and his eyes have lost their sallow quality. He looks happy and healthy, and that's all Cora could possibly want for him. 

"I'll miss you," Isaac whispers. 

"Ditto. Call me, all right? Tell me how you're doing, and how Scott is." 

"I will," Isaac promises. He smiles at her, but there's a sadness in his eyes, warring with the anticipation and happiness he must be feeling at the prospect of seeing Scott again. 

"You behave," he says, pointing a finger at her. 

"I always do," she holds her hands up. 

"Right," Isaac deadpans, before smirking wider. "And hey, I'll visit. So I can come see how you and your girlfriend are." 

"You better." She hugs him again impulsively, then steps back. If she keeps this up, he'll never leave, and while that's a tempting thought, she knows she has to let him go. She crouches down to pet Scout one last time, and scratches her behind her ears. Scout whines lowly, and Cora wishes that this could be easier.

He heaves his bag onto his shoulder and gives her one last smile before following Chris out the door. She watches him toss his bag into the van, then get in the passenger's side. Scout jumps in after him.

A tear falls down Cora's cheek as he waves to her. She waves back, silently wishing that he has a great life. He deserves it. 

She turns to see Laura and Derek looking at her. She walks over to them and wipes at her eyes hurriedly. 

Derek frowns. "Girlfriend?' 

Cora groans loudly while Laura lets out a bark of laughter.

 

 

\----

 

 

When it hits her that Isaac is actually gone, and that she'll never see her dad again, she sits on her bunk and listens to REM songs until she feels...even worse. REM is a bad choice; all of their songs are so fucking depressing. Kate comes in to the room as she's crying softly, and she sits up before wiping her eyes on her cargo pants. She doesn't want anyone seeing her like this, except maybe Lydia. 

How freaking pathetic is that? 

Kate mercifully doesn't say anything to her, picking up the not-so-subtle hint that she wants to be left alone. 

Cora eats dinner in the cafeteria and then walks around the base. She finds a cool looking observatory with domed windows that enable one to look into the night sky. She takes a few steps into the room before discovering that she's not alone. Hearing a sniffle, she turns to the noise. She steps closer and her mom's profile comes into view. 

"Mom, hey," Cora says softly, feeling like she's intruding. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes, dear, I'm fine. I'm just--I'm so happy you're here." 

Something in her voice makes Cora want to cry. There's been a lot of that going around lately.

"Mom, you know I love you, right? How I left things--before. I shouldn't have done that; I should have explained what I wanted instead of getting angry and just bailing. I was a stupid kid, and in a lot of ways I still am, but--I'm sorry." 

Her mom turns to her fully, and the love in her eyes practically knocks the wind out of her. 

"Oh, honey. I love you so much. And if this pandemic has taught me anything, it's that we can't hold on to the past because then we have no hands to keep our loved ones close. And then we can't see what beautiful people they're growing into. You are beautiful to me, Cora. You always have been." 

Cora breathes. "Fuck, mom, I've cried enough today." 

Her mom chuckles, before donning the 'Responsible Mother' cap. "Language." 

"Sorry." 

"So, Derek tells me you have a girlfriend. Lydia, is it? I'll have to meet her." 

Sometimes Cora wonders why she walked over 3,000 miles to reunite with these people. Because they all seem to live to embarrass her, and honestly, Cora is plenty good at embarrassing herself, thank you very fucking much. 

"Oh, mom, I wish you could, but we're leaving first thing in the morning, to go to her old school. Too bad." 

"Oh? You didn't tell me you were going with her. Why is she going there?" 

"To see if she can create a vaccine. I think she's planning on bringing back some cultures and seeing if she can start a lab here. But that all depends on if her vaccine even works. She's immune, and she's hoping to create a vaccine using the antibodies in her blood. She told me she'll have to have access to some specific chemicals, like mercury. That or she'll need some blood from one of the diseased, to act as an antigen." Cora parrots what Lydia told her earlier and cringes at the mental image. 

"That sounds dangerous. However, I know I can't forbid you to go. How old are you now? Almost 23?"

"Yeah, I'll be turning 23 in April," Cora says, surprised that her mom remembered. 

She hasn't celebrated her birthday in so long; she almost forgot how old she was. Being here with her family has reminded her of a lot of things she usually doesn't ponder. She doesn't feel quite so alone anymore, and miraculously, she and her mom have a chance to close the rift between them. It's more than Cora could have ever hoped for. 

Which is why she really doesn't mind if any of them tease her about Lydia. In the end, she's just glad they're alive. 

"Well, you be careful."

"I will," Cora promises. "I love you, mom." 

Talia steps towards her and wraps her arms around her. "I love you too."

 

 

\----

 

 

Cora wakes up at 7 am and walks to the cafeteria for breakfast. Chris is back from taking Isaac to Beacon Hills, but before she can grill him for information about whether or not Isaac was successful in finding Scott, Laura, Derek and Malia plop down at her table. Kate is sitting with her brother at a table on the other side of the room, and Cora can tell that Laura keeps trying to not look over, but fails epically. 

Cora tries not to roll her eyes too hard at this, and shoves a cinnamon roll into her mouth. She can't remember the last time she tasted the sugary sweet goodness of a cinnamon roll. She moans softly before taking another bite. 

"Damn, I thought only Lydia made you moan like that," Malia comments. 

Cora almost chokes. Laura and Derek, the traitors, are trying to hide their smirks.

"Does everyone in this fucking place know about Lydia and I?" She demands. 

"I wouldn't be surprised. You're all over each other," Derek says. "It's kind of hard to ignore." 

"We are not all over each other," Cora scoffs. "We're taking things slow." 

Malia snorts. Cora is still hasn't decided whether to love her or hate her guts, because she seems cool, but then she goes and gangs up on her like this.

Lydia and Stiles join them soon after, and Cora gives her a good morning kiss before glaring at Derek and Laura. 

"So, today's the day," Stiles says. "We're going to save the world." 

"You sound awfully sure," Derek raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, we should get going soon," Cora interrupts. She stands up and looks at Stiles. "Let's go, Stilinski. I might even let you ride shotgun." 

"Oh, no way," Stiles answers. "I'm driving." 

"No, you're not. We need someone who can drive fast. That's me. You probably drive like a granny who just took her sleep medication." 

"That's an awfully big assumption. A surprisingly accurate one, but still," Stiles mutters. 

"I'll drive," Lydia pipes up. "I can drive fast and carefully. It's a win-win." 

Cora nods slowly, then gives her siblings and cousin quick hugs before following Lydia out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

It's about a ninety minute drive from LA to Santa Barbara, which isn't too bad. Cora sits in the back seat and texts Isaac, eager to hear about what the safe haven in Beacon Hills is like.

**Hey, have you found Scott?**

 _Yeah, he's here. I might have cried when I saw him. Tell no one._

**You're such a softie.**

_Yeah, well, he's my best friend. And I think it might be more than that. On my end, anyway._

**No way! You should tell him.**

_I'm scared to, though. He just sees me as a friend._

**I get why you'd be scared. But I still think you should just tell him, so there are no secrets between you.**

Their texting is interrupted when Lydia catches her eye in the rear view. She smiles at her and Cora feels happiness encircle her. She isn't able to express just how happy Lydia makes her; it's something Cora never expected to feel. Usually she deplores sentimental crap, but what she and Lydia have is real, something visceral, intense, all-encompassing and impossible to ignore. She tried to fight it for so long. 

Lydia keeps driving and they reach the campus. It's quiet, eerily so, and Cora takes that as a bad sign. She's packing quite a few weapons, though, so they should be all right. She has three knives, one hanging on the holster on her hip, one on her thigh, another strapped to her boot. She has a rifle, and two glocks, and she decides to take the sniper too. She places the sniper in a bag and slings it over her shoulder, then looks at Stiles and Lydia. 

"We ready to roll?"

"Yeah," Stiles affirms. He's got two pistols hanging on each hip. 

Laura let Lydia take her sword, just this once. Cora tries not to feel too jealous as she watches Lydia swinging it around, getying a feel for it. Lydia turns to look at her. "Yeah, I'm ready. You look really badass, by the way." 

"So do you." 

"Okay, can we go? I'd like to get back some time today. If this place really is full of zombies, I sure as hell don't want to spend the night," Stiles interjects. 

"All right, let's move," Lydia says, walking ahead of them. She knows the campus well, and leads them across it to the science building. They run into the occasional zombie, but it's not anything like Chris warned them it would be. Which makes Cora think that he's just being paranoid. Apocalypses can do that. 

They make it to the science building with few distractions, then make their way up to the third floor, where Lydia's lab is. 

"Thank goodness it's still here," Lydia breathes. 

She gets to work, looking for vials and petri dishes, while Cora guards the door and Stiles leans next to one of the shelves. Lydia stuffs everything she can into a huge duffel bag she brought with her, and then searches for some syringes. Cora doesn't like needles, and definitely doesn't like the idea of Lydia drawing her own blood, so she averts her eyes as Lydia's tying a tourniquet to her arm. 

That's when Cora hears a loud pounding noise, and frowns curiously. She opens the door slightly and peeks down the hall, her rifle aimed ahead of her. She steps down the hall, slowly, carefully, then turns down another one. Her heart is pounding loudly, getting louder with each second that passes. Cora catches a glimpse of something, then feels a whoosh of air behind her. She whirls, and what she sees makes her scream. 

The biggest zombie she's ever seen in her life is hovering over her. Cora's instincts take over--fight or flight. She chooses flight, because this fucker is at least 8 feet tall and looks more grotesque than any undead she has come across. She turns to fire her pistol a few times, but this barely slows the zombie down. Her lungs are on fire as she yanks open the door to the lab. 

"So, we have a problem," Cora pants. "There's one huge zombie in this building and I'm pretty sure more are coming." That must be why it's so quiet. Because all the other zombies are scared to be here, she muses. 

Lydia looks up at her. She has drawn a few vials of her blood and that makes Cora want to puke. She really doesn't like needles. 

"Okay, we can go," Lydia agrees, placing a band-aid on her arm. She and Stiles pack up the rest of the supplies they'll need. Syringes, vials, and some chemicals. Cora's not really paying much attention. Her brain is still stuck on the image of the zombie she just faced. 

They creep down the hallway, Cora in front. The adrenaline is surging through her, and she hears the pounding steps of more zombies. 

"Does this place have a basement?" Cora demands. 

"Yes," Lydia answers. "Want to wait them out?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea--" 

She's cut off by a high-pitched scream, and aims her gun towards the noise. It's coming from a room to the right, and Cora opens the door without thinking. Someone could be in trouble. Instead of finding any humans, Cora, Lydia and Stiles are greeted with the sight of about twenty of those super-zombies. Cora fires her rifle at will, but this has little to no effect. The bullets are just minor annoyances, and Cora huffs in frustration.

"We need to fight them," Lydia decides. "They're not going to let us escape." 

"What do you propose?" Cora asks, frowning at her. 

"Fire," Stiles pipes up. "Maybe we can barbecue them." 

He pulls out some bear spray--Cora has no idea why he brought it, but she's not complaining. He flicks out a lighter and soon, the room is engulfed in flames. Cora grits her teeth as she hears agonized screams, and instinctively grabs onto Lydia's shoulder. She's never been more grateful that Stiles is with them. 

Sure enough, the zombies are nothing but ashes now. The bad news is, now they just set the fucking building on fire. Lydia, ever the problem solver, finds a fire extinguisher and blows it at the flames. They continue like this, Stiles torching any zombie that crosses their path, Lydia dutifully putting the fire out. 

Cora just watches them in admiration. Maybe they don't need her after all. 

A pang settles deep in her chest at this thought. Maybe _Lydia_ doesn't need her. She's just fine on her own; she's going to be working on a vaccine. What if she doesn't have time for Cora because she's too busy trying to change the world? 

No, she tells herself firmly. Now is not the time for her insecurities to rear their ugly heads. 

They get back into the car, exhausted and dirty. They all smell like smoke, and Stiles coughs as he throws himself into the back seat. Lydia starts the car, and then starts laughing, and soon, Cora joins in. Almost getting killed by a new breed of zombie isn't an ideal way to start the day, but she can think of worse things. 

 

\---- 

 

When they get back, Lydia and Stiles spend most of their time coordinating with Chris to find a room where they can set up a makeshift lab. Chris suggests one of the hangars that used to house small planes. Cora goes to visit Lydia every day, but she can tell that Lydia is getting lost in her work. She's putting in eighteen-hour days trying to find a vaccine, and Cora is worried that she's losing her. 

Cora hates feeling like she's being pushed aside. She knows Lydia doesn't mean to, and that this project is one she's been thinking about for years. They're so close, Lydia says.

A month passes, and Cora is growing more restless. She spends most of her time in the library, or hanging out with Malia, Derek and Laura. Since Lydia doesn't really have time for her these days. 

That hurts more than Cora could have imagined. 

"Hey, it'll be okay," Laura consoles her, late one night. They're sitting in the recreation room, watching TV from an old box set. They don't get channels here, but there's some VHS tapes in the corner. Laura picks an old comedy movie and places it in the VCR. 

"I don't know," Cora huffs. "I don't want to talk about it." 

"It's okay to acknowledge that you don't feel great, Cora. It's not going to make you sound like a spoiled brat." Laura leans back on the couch and looks at her. 

"I know. I just--don't want to bother her. She needs to focus right now, I get that. I just need something to occupy my mind." 

"Sounds like you already do." 

"Something else besides Lydia." 

Laura is silent for a few seconds. 

"I might be able to help you there."

 

\---- 

 

"Tell me whose brilliant idea this was again?" Malia demands, pulling on her mask. 

It's late afternoon and they're all assembled in a small exercise yard outside, one that Laura knows well. Cora keeps forgetting that she spent some time here back when she served in the army. Cora adjusts her own mask and squints. Her vision is slightly impaired because of how clumsy the goggles are, but she'll adjust. 

"Mine," Laura replies. "Cora needs something to get her mind off of her girlfriend. So I said, why not have a paint ball fight?"

Malia frowns. "Right. Okay. Just so you know, you're all going down." 

"Please," Cora scoffs. "I once shot a zombie two inches from Lydia's head. Freaked her out, but no one can say I'm a bad shot." 

Derek frowns. "I don't remember you being quite so arrogant." 

"I guess I must have grown into it." 

"Mind if we join in?" This from Kate, who is strolling into the yard with her brother.

Cora will never admit it to her sister, but she kind of likes Kate. She's confident, friendly and easy-going. Cora subconsciously shuffles closer to Laura, preparing herself for whatever she might do. Laura has become more unpredictable lately, and Cora wishes she knew why. 

Kate's eyes linger on Laura for a second, and Cora feels the chemistry. It's intense, this thing that hangs between her sister and Kate. Kind of like what she feels for Lydia, she muses, before slamming that thought down. This day is about relaxing. She can't--she can't think about Lydia right now. Lydia has been too busy tinkering in her lab to have any time for her. 

Cora focuses on her sister, who nods after a beat. "Fine. We could use two more players. Cora and Derek can be team captains." 

Laura gives her a patented glare when she picks Kate and Laura to be on her team. This should be interesting, Cora thinks, as she loads her gun with paint balls. 

They walk about a mile from the base, to an abandoned street that hardly ever has any zombie traffic. There's a lot of places to hide, which is good. Cora is already planning her attack strategy, and this helps because it's been a while since she's had a good shoot-out. Even if they are just paint balls and there are no undead monsters to kill. 

The game starts, and Cora creeps up to an abandoned parking garage. She stays there for a while. From where she's standing she has a good vantage point of the street below. Focusing her mind is harder than she expects, because images of Lydia keep popping up in her mind. Lydia laughing at one of her jokes. Lydia smiling at her. Lydia kissing her. 

Cora heaves a sigh. This is a bad idea. She obviously can't think of anything else-- 

"Kate, stop following me, for Christ's sake. We're supposed to split up, so we're not all easy targets." 

Cora turns, wondering if it would be bad form to shoot her own teammates. 

"I know. But I wanted--" 

Cora clears her throat then, and steps into the light of the garage. "Well, now we're all sitting ducks," she comments dryly. 

Laura just glares at her and walks away, leaving Kate and Cora alone. 

It's not the most awkward of silences, but it's not comfortable either. Cora shifts her weight from one foot to the other and walks back to the small opening she was standing at before. Her eyes focus on the street and she waits for any movement whatsoever. Soon enough, she sees Malia run behind a car, then shoots at her. 

She hears Malia's yell and smirks. 

"Nice shot," Kate says. 

"Thanks." 

"So...I know your sister hates my guts, and trust me, she has reason to, but I was thinking we could be...friends?" 

"Laura would hate me, then," Cora says slowly. "But...ok. You seem all right. I just--I can tell that Laura is still really mad at you. You must have done something really shitty to hurt her like that." 

"I did. I kept her a secret, because I was ashamed. Not of her, but--well, let's just say that I wasn't ready. I was ashamed of who I was for the longest time. And because of that, I lost Laura." 

Cora nods. "Maybe you can fix it." 

"Yeah," Kate remarks. "Maybe." 

The game drags on, and Derek shoots her after Kate manages to shoot Chris. So now it's Derek vs. Laura and Kate. 

This won't end well.

Cora heaves a sigh and trudges down to a nearby street where Malia is leaning against a car. She's sipping on a can of soda, and Cora doesn't want to ask where she got it. Malia can play fast and loose with her intestines if that's how she gets her kicks. Cora won't judge. She folds her arms and sighs again, then watches the sun set. She wishes she had her drawing pad with her. It's beautiful; the sky is the same one she sees every day, but it feels so new to her. Life has taken on a whole new meaning this past month. 

Whatever happens between her and Lydia, or what doesn't happen, she's just glad that she had a chance at all. A chance to kiss her and feel what it was like to be kissed by her. A chance to let Lydia in and show her who she really is. She knows that Lydia needs space, and time to work. She can't imagine what a huge responsibility it is to try to find a way to stop this disease. 

"Woah. You okay?" Malia asks, and bumps her shoulder with hers. "I can practically feel how hard you're thinking."

"I'm fine. I just miss spending time with Lydia." 

"She's busy. Once this is over and she's found a cure, she'll be back to her old self," Malia says. 

"And what if she never finds one? What if she spends her whole life fixated on trying, but it never happens?" Cora snaps. 

"Then you'll have to keep waiting. She's worth waiting for, don't you think?" 

Cora sighs. "Yeah. Yeah, she is." 

Malia's right; Cora is being selfish. 

 

\---- 

 

To Cora's surprise, Laura and Kate end up winning the game by pulling a blitz attack on Derek. They shoot him five times before he yells at them to stop. Cora watches and chuckles behind her hand. They walk back to base, laughing and talking the whole way there. Derek tries to look angry, but Cora can tell how hard it is for him to keep the smile off his face. 

They all eat dinner in the cafeteria, and Cora chokes on her food when she sees an exhausted Lydia walk into the room. She stands up before she has time to think, and almost runs into several people in her rush. She mumbles 'sorry,' and all too soon, yet not soon enough, she's standing in front of her girlfriend.

She looks like crap. Like she hasn't slept in days. Cora's stomach flutters with concern, and she reaches forward to grab her hand. \

"How are you?" She asks softly, looking into Lydia's eyes and trying not to wince at the deep, dark circles under them. She can feel her family's gaze on her, but all she cares about right now is Lydia. 

"I'm fine," Lydia replies. "I've been doing a lot of blood work, but the good news is, we've found a vaccine. Out of 208 tries, we've finally found one that works." 

Cora wants to hug her tightly, but she's afraid that Lydia might faint if she does. Cora doesn't like the paleness to her skin. Doesn't like how thin she looks. 

"That's great. But now I think it's time you ate something. You look terrible." 

"Sweet talker."

Cora fills up a plate of food, and tells her to eat what she can. Lydia scarfs most of it down, and this puts Cora at ease. She sits close to Lydia and places a hand on her knee, glad that she's okay. 

She'll be having a talk with Stiles later about this, that's for damn sure. He should have never let Lydia get like this. He should have put a stop to it. 

Cora should have put a stop to it. Why didn't she check up on her more often? She was so hurt she felt like she took second place to this project. She was blind and didn't think about how much of a strain working all day would put significant stress on Lydia's body. 

Lydia finishes her meal, and then Cora walks her to her room. They don't say much on the way there, but Cora knows what she's thinking. 

"Listen, Cora, I'm sorry I neglected you. I should have paid more attention, but between all the blood tests and staying up all night, I just--I figured you wouldn't want to listen to my incoherent ramblings." 

"I like your incoherent ramblings," Cora smirks. "They're cute. You're cute." 

"So, do you forgive me?" 

"Yes. I'm not gonna lie, I thought you were shutting me out. But I know now it was more than that. You had a job to do, and I just would have been a distraction. A pretty sweet distraction--" Cora chuckles as Lydia rolls her eyes-- "But a distraction nonetheless." "

"You're--god, why do I like you so much?" 

They're standing outside of Lydia's door, and Cora leans closer. 

"I don't know," she answers, before slowly placing her lips on Lydia's. 

She missed this. So much. Lydia's hands move to her face, and she feels her fingers on her cheeks. They haven't lost any of their intimacy, if anything it's even stronger now. Cora wants so badly to take the next step, but she's not ready. Mentally, emotionally or physically. She needs to get her strength up again.


	12. Chapter 12

Six months later, the vaccine is working well. It is able to reverse the disease, so every day, Chris and Kate send out squads of people to vaccinate as many of the diseased as possible. They use tranquilizer guns, and then when the zombies are passed out, vaccinate them. As a result, there are more people in the safe haven, and people have even started living in abandoned houses in LA. Lydia's vaccine has quite literally changed the world, and Cora could not be more proud. She'll never cease to be amazed at how much Lydia can do. How powerful she is. 

Even though they're both busy, Lydia and Cora make a point to spend time together every day. Whether that means just eating breakfast together or going out on patrols together, or one of them just dropping by the other's quarters, Cora is just glad that it's a priority. 

Lydia meets Cora's mother. She makes a great impression, just like Cora knew she would. She and her mom have grown closer, too, and so it's nice that her mom likes Lydia. But really, how can anyone not like Lydia? She's kind of amazed that she herself didn't like her, once upon a time. It's interesting, because all of the things Lydia does that used to bug her are now things she finds adorable. It's kind of a mind-fuck to ruminate on how much she has changed. 

The world is changing too, all thanks to her girlfriend. 

She calls Isaac one morning in mid-July. 

"Hey," she says, after closing the door to the room--cell, really--she shares with Kate, Laura and Malia. 

"Hi," she hears. "I've been meaning to call you. I heard about the vaccine. Tell Lydia I say congrats. That couldn't have been easy." 

"It wasn't," Cora agrees. "But she's such a trooper. I just wanted to call and see how things are." 

"I haven't told Scott how I feel," Isaac says, smart enough to know all her conversation tactics. "And I'm not going to, so you can just--" 

"Okay, woah. I don't want to push you. It's not like I'm a relationship expert or anything."

"I know. The thing is, sometimes he looks at me and I swear it's like time stops. It's so fucked up because he's my best friend." 

"It doesn't have to be fucked up. Maybe he feels the same," Cora consoles. 

"I doubt it. But hey, I have to go. More of your girlfriend's vaccine just got here." 

"Okay. Bye, Lahey. Don't do anything I wouldn't," she smirks. 

"Bye, weirdo." Isaac hangs up and Cora pockets her phone. 

She misses Isaac; she'll have to visit him before summer's over. She rubs at her skin and then goes to take a shower. She makes her way to the communal showers, glad that she's finally getting a feel for this place. She can't count how many times she's gotten lost, because this place is huge and has more corridors than Hogwarts. But she can navigate it fairly well now. 

She feels the warm water on her skin and scrubs at her scalp. The grime falls down the drain, and Cora gets out, wrapping her towel around her hips. She brushes her teeth and pulls on her jeans and a clean t-shirt, then goes back to her bunk to deposit of her dirty clothes before walking the cafeteria for breakfast. 

Cora has developed a routine and surprisingly it's not boring. Seeing how many people have been cured of the contagion is an incredible thing to witness, and Lydia estimates that if they keep this up, in about ten years, they can start rebuilding their society to what it once was. It seems so far off, but Cora can already see enormous changes happening, so...yeah. It's hard to be bored. 

Laura and Kate are sitting at a table together, which is another development that has occurred over the past six months. Cora doesn't know if they're dating or what, but at least Laura doesn't look like she wants to murder Kate in her sleep anymore. That says a lot where Laura is concerned. Cora plops her tray down and joins them. 

"So, who are you sending out today?" She asks Kate. 

Kate shrugs. "There's not many of the diseased around here anymore, so I was thinking we could spread out. I know we've been sending the vaccine to other safe havens across the country, but what about the rest of the world? We need to figure out a way to ship it out." 

"We could helicopter it." Laura suggests. "There are still a few here, on the roof." 

Kate smiles at her. "Good idea." 

Cora clears her throat. "So...does this mean we have some time off?" 

Kate tilts her head. "For now, yeah. Unless an influx of more zombies show up, which I don't think is gonna happen." 

"Sweet." Cora eats her food hurriedly and stands up, excusing herself. She goes to Lydia's quarters and knocks on the door. 

A girl with a tattoo on her shoulder blade opens the door and glares at her. This is one of Lydia's bunk mates. Cora doesn't know why the other girl dislikes her; they've barely spoken to each other, but whatever. She's not here to ask. 

"Is Lydia here?" 

"No. I don't know where she is." 

"Thanks, that's really helpful," Cora says. If the other girl picks up on her sarcasm, she doesn't show it. Cora turns to walk away, turning down the next hallway. Maybe she should just text her. She's not sure that'll work, though; Lydia has the bad habit of turning her phone off and forgetting about it.

Cora pulls out her phone to text Lydia when Stiles turns the corner. She hasn't seen him in a while, and last she heard he's been fixing things around base. Last week he fixed one of the self-serve gas pumps that sprung a leak. He's a good friend, and Cora sees why Lydia trusts him. He's reliable and loyal, and even though he pisses her off sometimes, Lydia and Stiles are kind of a package deal. 

"Hey, Stilinski." 

She's not mad at him anymore for letting Lydia almost starve herself in the lab. He'd told her over and over that Lydia wouldn't listen to him when he told her she needed to take a break. Cora has no reason to doubt, given that that sounds like something Lydia would do. But she's still slightly miffed that he didn't take better care of his best friend.

"Hey Cora. You looking for Lydia?" 

"No. I'm just wandering the hall next to her room for no apparent reason at all." 

"Don't try to out-sarcasm me, sweetheart. I'm the king of sarcasm," Stiles retorts. He gestures down the hall. "Last I heard, she was going to take a shower." He waggles his eyebrows and Cora punches him in the shoulder before turning to walk down the hall. His over-exaggerated 'Ow!' is still ringing in her ears, and she grins. 

 

\---- 

 

She waits for Lydia outside of the locker room. When Lydia emerges, she smells so nice, and her skin looks fresh and clean. Cora smiles and sidles up to her, and wordlessly, their mouths meet in a sweet, long kiss. Lydia's hair is freshly shampooed, at the smell of lilacs invade Cora's nostrils. Lydia pushes her up against the wall and moans softly. Their tongues meet slowly, and Cora's head is swimming. Lydia's hand is entangled in hers, pinning it on the cold concrete of the wall. Lydia's body is soft against hers, and Cora pulls her closer. 

They stay like that for a few amazing moments; Lydia's lips are so soft and it feels like forever since she kissed them. Even though she's pretty sure she gave Lydia a good night kiss last night. Everything is kind of a blur right now. Cora moans, and that seems to snap Lydia out of the spell she's under. 

"Oh," Lydia says softly, her mouth parted in an 'o' shape. "Good...good morning," she stutters. 

"It is now." Cora leans in for another kiss, a soft peck that still leaves her slightly breathless. 

"So, what's up?" Lydia queries as they're walking down the hall. She hooks her arm around Cora's and brushes a hand through her hair. Even with wet hair, Lydia looks like she belongs on a runway. 

"We have the day off, since there's not many diseased left around here," Cora says. 

She has gotten better about using the term 'diseased' rather than zombie, because Lydia says it's insensitive. Even though she herself used the term many times before. But whatever, Lydia just created a vaccine that is monumentally changing the world; she's allowed to be a little hypocritical.

"That's great. What did you have in mind?" 

"Well," Cora starts. "We could go back to my bunk. If you want." 

She knows what she's asking, but it's not the first time they've spent time in each other's quarters. It still makes her nervous, though, because she doesn't want Lydia to think that she's pressuring her. 

"Sure."

Cora exhales, and nods. They walk to her bunk and Cora sits down on her bed, pats the cushion next to her and moves over so Lydia has room to sit. 

Lydia curls up next to her, and rests her head on her shoulder. Cora pulls her closer, and there's so much she wants to say, but instead, all that comes out are three words. 

"You did it." 

Lydia looks up at her and shakes her head softly. "We did it."

"Fine. We did it. I never thought we could." 

Lydia laughs. "When I first met you, I thought you were the most frustrating person I'd ever had the misfortune of knowing. And now...you still frustrate me, but--it's different. I can't really explain it." 

"I know what you mean," Cora says softly, speaking into Lydia's hair. It's still damp and it tickles at her lips. "I feel it too." 

"Which is why I don't--I don't want to wait any longer," Lydia says in a rush. "I want to have sex with you, Cora. I've wanted it for so long, but finding a vaccine got in the way, then we got really busy because everyone was trying to find a way to disseminate the vaccine, and if we keep waiting for a perfect moment, it'll never happen. This--" she gestures between them--"is perfect." 

Cora blinks a few times, then looks into Lydia's eyes. They're so sincere, and Cora can see some fear there. Fear that Cora will reject her. How could Lydia possibly think... 

"I--I don't want to wait either," she stutters. "I just--" she trails off. "I don't want anyone walking in on us." 

Lydia nods. "You know what, you're right. We should just bunk together. I'll talk to Chris about it." 

Cora freezes. "Lydia, you don't have to--" 

"Yes, I do. We are going to have sex, Cora. It's going to happen, and if that means talking to Chris to see if we can get our own damn room, then that's what I'll do."

Cora knows better than to try to argue. She also might be slightly scared of seeing this side of Lydia. You don't want to mess with her when she's sexually frustrated. Since Cora's in the same boat, she doesn't really want to stop her.

 

\----

 

A week later, Cora and Lydia are moving into quarters of their own, on the other side of the base. It's nice because they're above ground, and the room has windows. Cora doesn't want to think about how the conversation between Chris and Lydia must have gone. She'll ask someday. Maybe. 

Lydia hangs a picture of her parents on the wall next to the window, then steps back to admire it. Cora wordlessly steps behind her and wraps her arms around her torso. She breathes in, cradling her chin on Lydia's shoulder. These affectionate gestures just come so easily to her now, because having Lydia close--it's like eating mint chocolate chip ice cream on a warm summer day. It's perfect.

Lydia turns around and kisses her hard, kisses her like the world is about to end.

Cora welcomes it and steps closer. Her hands rest on Lydia's hips, and she backs her up until Lydia's legs hit the nearest bed. Lydia lays down, Cora hovering over her. When Lydia reaches up to kiss her, Cora moans and works at the buttons of Lydia's shirt. Great day for her to wear a button down, Cora thinks sarcastically. She pops open each button, all the while kissing Lydia.

Her shirt falls to the floor, and Lydia sits up, unclasps her bra. She pulls Cora's shirt off drops it on top of her own, then claims Cora's lips again. Over and over. Her kisses become slower, lazier, and Cora almost misses the fact that Lydia's hands are working at the button of her jeans. Lydia flips them over, then straddles Cora, who chuckles, smiling up at her girlfriend. Lydia makes quick work of her pants, and lays them on a dresser. She turns back to Cora, who almost gasps when Lydia's fingers start pulling her panties down. It's the sweetest torture, and Cora's not sure if she wants it to be over just yet. But...fuck, she's so aroused and she just wishes that Lydia would touch her. 

She does, slowly, agonizingly so. Lydia pulls her panties off, and smirks at her. 

"You know, I think it's kind of unfair that I'm completely naked and you're not. In fact, it's a travesty," Cora rasps. 

Lydia nods in agreement. "You're right. I'm all about fairness," she teases--really, teasing is all she's doing right now--and she moves to unbuckle her jeans. 

She slides them off and her panties come next, and Cora just watches, because holy shit, she's beautiful. Cora's eyes trail to her abdomen, to her three bite scars, and Lydia blushes, moves to cover them with her hands. Cora sits up and stops her progress, wrapping her hands gently around Lydia's wrists. 

"No," Cora says simply. "Don't--you're gorgeous." 

"My scars are ugly." 

"To you, maybe. But to me, they just prove how much of a fighter you are. You're a survivor, Lydia. You're the strongest person I know." 

Lydia looks at her. "I love you." 

This takes Cora aback, but she recovers quickly. "I love you too," she replies, before pulling Lydia back down. 

Their naked bodies come together, and it's exhilarating. 

When Lydia touches her clit, Cora's world splits open, leaving her grasping for any semblance of reality. Her breath comes out in short pants, and Lydia's fingers curl inside of her, not giving any mercy. She bites her lip and moans, feeling the sensations wash over her all at once. Pleasure. Intimacy. Happiness. Warmth. 

She doesn't know what she did to deserve someone like Lydia, and as she comes, she clutches onto the other girl's shoulders tightly. She takes several deep breaths, slowly coming back to herself. A pair of hazel orbs greet her, and she smiles. 

Cora burrows herself between Lydia's legs, and kisses her thighs sweetly. Her hands come to rest on her hips, because the softness of Lydia's skin is impossible to resist. Her mouth moves closer and closer to Lydia's center, and she can feel Lydia trembling, the tremors becoming more intense, building from the anticipation. 

Finally, her tongue tastes Lydia, and Lydia's reaction is to bury her hands in Cora's hair. She licks deeper, playing with her clit, and through the haze of pleasure, Cora can hear Lydia gasping. She moans occasionally, and then threads her fingers tighter through Cora's hair, pulling at her head. Riding her mouth, and oh god, Cora's the one giving pleasure right now, but damn if she's not still turned on by this. Cora keeps licking the pink folds, desperate to taste, to feel, to touch. She leans back, and then lets her fingers do the work, stretching them inside of Lydia and holding her up. Cora feels her arch her back, and soon, the trembling intensifies. 

Cora moves up to kiss Lydia's neck, then wraps her arms around her. They fall asleep like that.

 

\---- 

 

Derek sits next to Cora and Lydia the following day, when they're eating lunch in the cafeteria. He nods at them stiffly, which is Derek speak for 'Hey, it's great to see you.' Lydia is still having some trouble translating what he means, and when they first met, Lydia was more than a little intimidated by him. Cora's had to reassure to more than a few times that he doesn't mean to glare so much, or at least, he doesn't mean what any normal person thinks it means when someone gives them a death glare. 

Just as Cora's finishing her meal, her phone buzzes. It's a text message from Isaac. 

_I told him. And...you were right._

Cora pumps her fist in the air. "I knew it." 

Derek raises an eyebrow. 

"It's--my friend. He told his crush how he feels and now they're together. All because of advice I gave him," Cora beams. 

Lydia chuckles and rubs at Cora's shoulder. "Aw. You're so cute when you try to play matchmaker." 

"Lydia Martin, you take that back. I don't do _cute."_

"You're doing me," Lydia says, an innocent smile on her face.

Derek's face contorts into an expression Cora has never seen, and she'd find it hilarious if she wasn't feeling pretty embarrassed herself. She bites her lip and gives Lydia a pointed look, which goes ignored. 

Derek stands up. "I just remembered, I have to go put the--I have to go." He says firmly, then rushes away. 

"God, you're so...bad." 

"You love it," Lydia smirks.

Cora has nothing to say to that, because Lydia's totally right. She just chuckles and buries her forehead into her girlfriend's shoulder.

"He probably won't be able to look me in the eye for weeks." 

"Well, at least now I know he's capable of more than one facial expression," Lydia replies, before giggling into Cora's hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is taken from the song 'Go Slow' by Haim.


	13. Chapter 13

The time passes so slowly, and yet, Lydia still feels as though she's trying to grasp onto every minute she can. She wonders how long this peaceful feeling will last. Everyone around base thinks she's a hero; claps on the back, smiles, congratulations and simple 'thank yous' make her head spin, make her blush until she's not sure what to feel. The world is changing around her, and she played a part in that, she knows. 

Still, she doesn't feel like a hero. She didn't save everyone. Not her parents, not Cora's dad, not the people who they all killed to get here. The guilt makes her toss and turn at night, punching her pillow until it's flat against her palms. Cora knows better than to try to calm her down when she gets like this. She lies next to Lydia and lightly touches her skin, a reminder that she's there, that she's not alone. 

The heat from her girlfriend's body is especially warm tonight, Lydia muses. Cora's breath comes out slowly. It tickles her neck. She is teetering on the edge of sleep, and Lydia wishes she could fall so easily into the same peaceful slumber. The thin mattress is hardly comfortable, but Lydia has definitely slept on worse surfaces. Rocks, fields, even snowy ground. The things she had to do to stay alive didn't seem like such a burden at the time, but looking back, she knows that she probably wouldn't have been able to survive it alone. 

When she'd gotten bitten, Stiles had had a near panic attack. It had taken hours of arguing for him to agree to kill her if she turned. Something she has never told Cora is that she's been there. 

Cora knows that her parents died, but what she doesn't know is how. Mr. and Mrs. Martin hadn't died in the hospital like so many others. Doctors were in a panic, having no idea how to cure this contagion. Thanks to this panic, her parents slipped through the cracks of the health care system.

Lydia came to New York for a home visit to find that her parents had turned, and they snarled and growled and advanced on her, the hunger in their eyes nothing like the affection they once had for her. 

Lydia ran. She ran through the neighborhood, screaming for help. She watched, heart pounding, as one of her neighbors stepped outside, cocked a rifle and took aim.

Her cries of help became sobs as she watched her parents get gunned down. 

This is what haunts her at night. This is what she hasn't been able to tell Cora, and even Stiles doesn't know the details. His own father had been killed by a zombie; he went down fighting. The soft pride in his voice whenever he talks about it makes Lydia's eyes tear up. 

She feels a shift beside her, and Cora wakes, her dark eyes blinking at her. "You can't sleep?" 

"No. Just like last night, and the night before," Lydia huffs, stares up at the ceiling. She doesn't mean to snap at Cora, but not even she can fix everything. No one can fix Lydia now. She's the one who does the fixing, but despite having found a vaccine to cure the zombie virus, she's completely incapable of ridding herself of the blackness that threatens to swallow her whole. PTSD is probably the clinical name for it, but Lydia is too exhausted to psychoanalyze herself. She's not sure how much therapy one should have after surviving a zombie apocalypse. Probably way more than she has time for. 

"Hey," Cora says. "Hey, I'm just...I worry about you. I know this hasn't been easy."

The air in their tiny room is stiflingly hot. It's early September and Lydia can't wait for autumn. She remembers playing in the leaves with her parents, inviting Stiles' family over for Thanksgiving. These memories are buried inside of her, unchanging despite all the transformation going on around her. 

She can't help it. A tear falls onto her cheek, and she sniffs. She hates crying.

Cora sits up and pulls Lydia to her. She wraps her arms around her frame and whispers "I'm here, I'm here," over and over. Lydia is grateful that she doesn't say something inane like 'It'll be okay,' because who can ever guarantee that?

That's one thing Lydia loves about Cora. She's brutally honest and she doesn't waste her time with pretenses or lies, even if it could provide momentary comfort. They both know, now, how toxic lying to oneself is. 

She cries softly, then slowly lies back down. Cora's hand clutches hers, and her warm fingers massaging her palm is the last thing Lydia feels before she drifts off. 

 

\----

 

She is not the hero of this story. She never was. The optimism she exudes is more out of necessity than anything else. Lydia can't break down, not now. Too many people are relying on her. Cora, Stiles and Laura are the only ones who know the extent of her pain. When she was traveling to California, she had a goal. A purpose that kept the tears at bay. She was focused, determined. 

She doesn't know how to get that feeling back. 

She's in the library one September morning, glancing through the old books and finding some scientific journals. Reading those always help her to calm down. The only material she had to read for a year were Nancy Drew mysteries. She read them until she knew every twist and turn, until she could practically recite every argument George and Bess ever had. Having a library at the safe haven feels like the greatest gift. How did they even get all the books here? Where did they get them from? She'll have to ask Chris, even though he's been slightly awkward around her ever since her conversation with him about her and Cora's living arrangements. 

At least now she and Cora have some privacy. She's proud to say she didn't stutter once during that verbal exchange, even as she told him that she and Cora were dating and wanted to take the next step in their relationship. Chris had nodded and stuttered and made some comments about moving people around to accomodate their needs. It all sounded so formal, and it makes Lydia laugh now, just thinking about it. 

"Oh, come on. Scientific journals aren't that funny," she hears Stiles say. Glancing up, she sees him strolling towards her, hands in his pockets. 

"Hey," she breathes, and wishes some of his effortless calm could seep into her. "I haven't seen you in a couple of days. What have you been up to?" 

Stiles shrugs. "Fixing odds and ends around this lovely abode. Derek is paying me with cheetos."

"You're such a slut for cheetos," she teases, closing her book and nudging him with it. 

"True. I was looking for you, actually. Cora, Malia and Derek are going to town for a sweep. Do you want to come?" 

"Sure." 

She follows Stiles out of the library, through the slate grey hallways to the double doors on the south side of the base. The sun's brightness makes her blink several times, and she places a hand near her hairline to provide some shade as she scans the field for the others. 

They ride out in military jeeps. Laura is driving in the vehicle Lydia gets into. Derek drives the other. Kate is in the passenger seat, and Cora and Malia get in beside Lydia. Cora has a dart gun in her hand, as does Malia. She feels a swell of tentative pride at knowing that it is her vaccine in those syringes. 

Perhaps it's misplaced. It's her blood, after all, part of her biology. If she hadn't been bitten, she never would have discovered she was immune. None of this would have come to pass. 

She feels Malia nudge her softly. "You're a badass," she says, and smiles. "If you need a daily reminder of that, you know where to find me." 

Lydia chuckles and grins back, feeling a small piece of her determination build itself back up. 

 

\----

 

Cora kisses her shoulder softly, then scrubs at it with the soap. "How did you get so dirty? We were only out there for a few hours," she wonders aloud. Lydia doesn't have to turn to know she's smirking. 

"Stiles ran into me and knocked me down," Lydia protests. "He really is the clumsiest person I've ever met. I don't know why he freaked out; we've been driving cars throughout LA for the past three months and there have been hardly any incidents of zombie attacks..." she frowns. "I don't remember him being this jumpy, even when we were stuck in Colorado." 

Cora nods; Lydia feels her damp hair against her shoulder. Hands grip at her sides, spinning her around. 

The shower stalls aren't met for more than one person to be in them at a time. Cora is so close, and the steam swirling around them sticks to her skin. Cora looks so good like this, with her hair wet and her lips so shiny. Lydia stops her train of thought and takes time to appreciate her girlfriend's muscles. Her own hands reach out to touch, to trail her fingers on Cora's abdomen, then up to her breasts. 

"What was I talking about?" She asks dumbly, biting her lip. 

"Something about Stiles. Which, honestly, is the last person I want to be thinking about right now." 

"Oh, right," Lydia says. "He's so..."

Cora rolls her eyes and closes the distance, kissing her with a passion that Lydia has grown very fond of. The way her eyes light up when she finishes a drawing she's been working on is another thing Lydia loves. 

She should probably start a list, she thinks idly, as one of her hands clutch Cora's hair. She has always loved lists. Organization is very important, after all. 

Her back slides against the shower stall as Cora leans into her, and she moans. Her left hand grazes Cora's breast, and she drops kisses against her neck, working her own body to a fevered pitch of desire. 

Cora's eyes latch onto hers, and the honesty behind her gaze strikes Lydia, as real as a physical blow. She feels warm. Cora touches her, everywhere except in the one place she desperately needs to be touched, stroked, caressed. She bucks her hips. 

"I want you to touch me. Now," she rasps out. 

"Oh, really? Because I thought you wanted to talk about Stiles." 

She's too aroused to scoff or roll her eyes. Instead, she steps closer and squeezes Cora's breast, then brings her hand lower, lower until Cora lets out a soft gasp. The smell of Cora's hair mingles with her own, and she closes her eyes for a moment, wanting to remember every detail. These are the memories she wants to hold onto. Her strokes become steadier; Cora grips onto her shoulders, her breathing labored. The sounds she makes when she's on the edge are so sexy, and for a moment, Lydia wants to keep her there, for just a little bit longer, however cruel that might be. She fingers Cora's clit and feels her slump against her after she comes. 

"We should get out of here," Lydia says after a few moments. " We're wasting all the hot water." 

"But---I haven't fucked you yet." 

"Believe me, I'm aware, which is why you should hurry," she grits out, then pushes Cora out of the shower. 

 

\----

 

Dinner with Talia Hale is something Lydia always looks forward to. Cora's mom has a bit of a fondness for astronomy, and Lydia dabbled with the idea of being an astronomy major before she settled on biology, so there is never a scarcity of things for them to talk about. Talia sits regally at one of the tables in the cafeteria, glancing around as she waits for Cora to show up. 

"So, Lydia, how have you been?" 

"Great," she answers, hoping Talia will believe it. 

"And the nightmares?" 

Lydia pales. "Cora told you?" 

"Yes. Only because she was worried," Talia adds hurriedly at the look on Lydia's face. "Please don't be mad at her. She thought that I would be able to help. I have lost people I've loved, thanks to this plague too. And so has Cora." 

Lydia nods, her scowl slowly disappearing. "I didn't mean to shut her out." 

"I know. It is truly horrifying how easy it is to lose touch with people, especially those closest to us." 

Lydia feels a smooth, warm hand cover hers. "Now is probably the point where you expect me to give you some sage advice, or share the benefit of all of my years. But I think you already know what you're doing. You can be happy, Lydia. And you're good for my daughter." 

"I--thank you," Lydia stutters. She squeezes Talia's hand softly. 

Cora joins them a few minutes later, and Derek, Laura and Malia filter in and sit next to them. Stiles, Kate and Chris join them, and Lydia smirks to herself as Chris meets her gaze and looks away, focusing intently on his plate of mashed potatoes. Derek starts talking about how soon, it will be safe enough to leave. Being cramped up in a military base with over 3 hundred people is starting to chafe on everyone's nerves. 

But right now, Lydia can't think that far ahead. She doesn't want to, because Talia's words are still fresh in her mind. 

Maybe she wasn't able to save everyone. And maybe she isn't a hero. But perhaps, she hopes, she grew into the kind of person her parents would be proud of.


End file.
